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Surprise, You’re Pregnant!

Passionate ADHD mother discovering balance in daily routines. Embracing the good, the bad and the ugly


Surprise, You're Pregnant!

I remember quite vividly the sinking feeling in my stomach like it was yesterday. My hands were shaking as I tapped my debit card and clutched the bag to my side. Even though the pharmacy was less than a two-minute drive from home, the anxiety turned what was a few minutes into eternity. “This can't be!” Was all my mind could process ever since I felt that fluttery sensation while relaxing on the couch. It's been over twelve years since I felt kicking life inside my stomach. The scary thing was it came out of no where on a friday afternoon.

One minute I'm laughing at Sheldon Cooper having a mental breakdown in a ball bit and then next I'm jumping off the couch with the realization something was playing jump rope with my internals. Not going into the gorey details, but purchasing a pregnancy test was not at the top of my list. There was no chance of expectancy, or so I thought. My breasts weren't swollen or tender, every morning I woke up vibrant and energized, compared to my last pregnancy were I couldn't even hold down water and lived in the washroom. I had monthly visits from Aunt Flow also. However what bamboozled me was the fact that my stomach was not larger or firm and I certainly didn't have that “Glow”. I stayed the same weight and maintained my normal daily activities. No one approached me to give me a warm embrace and congratulate me or pry with the normal “soon to be a mom” questions. It was just a random friday.

Finally, I gathered my composure enough to follow the home kit instructions. Still shaking the first pink line manifested on the reader and the time limit was soon up. As soon as I was about to walk away and laugh hysterically at my theatrical response, almost like a sick game that took a wrong turn it happened. A second pink line faintly showed itself and time itself seemed frozen but my mind was racing at the speed of light. After the initial shock I stood in front of my bathroom mirror examining my reflection. It was my brain trying to process what just happened and I couldn't stop staring at myself. Even though in that moment I was mentally checked out and in utter disbelief, I was able to book an appointment with my family doctor with rushed status. I figured the appointment would confirm the pregnancy test was faulty and I didn't bother letting my husband know about the situation or my multiple mini breakdowns. Once my doctor confirmed I was not pregnant I would of course tell him everything and we would laugh and joke over enjoying a cold beer. It would be story we could tell over and over again without it getting stale. That's what I kept telling myself anyways.

We have teenagers now and we're enjoying them being independent and getting a little slice of our freedom back. At the time we were done with the baby stage and never planning to look back. I only had to wrestle with this for two days until my appointment. Due to my past medical history instead of a traditional sit down meeting with my family doctor I was brought over to ultrasound clinic. The technician assigned to me was light and bubbly and browsed my medical notes that my doctor provided. “ Okay dear, lets see whats going on in there” her voice soothing and warm as she spread the cool jelly over my exposed stomach. We giggled together after I explained I took a home test and it was positive. And the reason I'm here was because I felt a kick. Almost instantly she assures me that I would have to be in the second trimester to feel those sensations. Her saying that brought relief as we both didn't expect what showed up on the monitor. The room went quiet and her bubbly and warm tone turned off and her smiley demeanour faded. Before I could say anything she ran out of the room and came back moments later with another technician. They both probed my stomach, whispered to each other and then stared at the monitor that was now out of my view. My stomach felt heavy again with that uneasy feeling creeping back up it climbed into my throat and stayed there. All I could say was “what do you see?” In gargled word vomit. I didn't receive a verbal response. One of the women grabbed my hand and gave it a little reassuring squeeze. In that moment I knew my life was about be turned upside down. Moments later they concluded the exam. I was now sitting up desperate for a response but at the same time trying not to get sick right all over the exam table. Just from their body language I could already gather I was pregnant but the way they were still acting was more concerning. “Janey after looking at your ultrasound we confirmed you're pregnant. By the measurements you're forty weeks on the dot. Congratulations, in less than two months she will be here.” Both left the room. I never had an out of body experience, but I'm positive this is as close to one as it gets. Hot tears ran down me cheeks, I had so many questions that couldn't be answered at that time. I felt so alone and scared in that moment. After confirmed by this surprise appointment no one had any concerns with the ultrasound results. More testing needed do be done to confirm a heathly baby and normal progress, but for today I was done and the hospital would be in touch very soon. Leaving the parking lot I wasn't thinking about my pregnancy plan or about what I needed to pack in my hospital bags like most expectant mothers. In that moment I was thinking about how to prepare for this baby in fifty days and even more importantly how to tell my husband who was extremely vocal about not wanting to plan another pregnancy.

As soon as I got home I needed to divise a game plan on how I would break the news to daddy of two and one on the way. Getting in touch with his employer they immediately paged him to call me back and they notified me he was on a two-story roof supervising his crew. Im not sure why I thought humour was the best opening line but once we connected I explained “I have news but first you need sit down away from the edge.” I finally managed to speak. “ Hun, I know we said we were done and not planning anymore kids but...” Without hesitation he busted out into joyful laughter “let me guess you're pregnant? Good one Jane, don't joke like that and tell me what's up?” My lack of response was more than enough confirmation that his fear was true. “You've got to be kidding me?” He was still waiting for me to say April fools I guess I could tell he was absolutely horrified. “No I'm not kidding” and in a teary explosion of what couldn't be the english language I explained I was seven months without any signs of traditional symptoms. After at least two minutes of pure phone silence all he said was “You don't even look pregnant, let alone seven months along” and either of us not knowing what to say, we ended the call.

Life has a funny way sometimes. I never would have expected being pregnant for a third time over a decade later and finding out the little bundle of joy was seven months along and coming in less than two. We scrambled and hunted and barley pulled it off. But in record time we were expecting, processed the news, prepared and I luckily gave birth to a healthy eight-pound baby girl. I've seen shows on the TLC network about women one day waking up and having a baby with no knowledge of being pregnant. I never took it seriously until it almost happened to me. This little girl is not only healthy and intelligent, but she brought so much love and light with her. For parents who weren't expecting again we sure love and enjoy the baby stage ten years later by our surprise. As Sheldon Cooper of the Big Bang Theroy would say we definitely got the biggest “Bizinga” of our lives! And its a story that we can tell over and over again.