Before the Drive Back
I talk to my Mom the day before she planned to drive back. I asked her do you want me to get you a flight back. She said no we are going to drive back. I asked are you sure? I can pay for a ticket back. And have your suv shipped back. Her friend was getting all the other vehicles shipped back. Why not yours and it’s and older vehicle are you sure you want to drive it back? My Mom replied yes, it will be ok. she was looking forward to the drive back to Mobile.
I’m still worried about you driving back, that’s a long drive 3 days or more. I’m looking at 3 days possibly straight driving. This really isn’t a good idea. I can’t think straight. But I know your an adult. And her number 1 quote was : The last time “I looked at your birth certificate,”I was your Mother Latreace! But at some point the roles need to change. Biblically speaking once a man twice a child. I just kept praying about this.
Every part of my had the most creepiest feeling.I told my 2 best best friends what I was feeling, and all type of concern came over the three of us. Fear came across me every time we talked about her driving back. so I had to except her choice, she was so excited driving across the world. Seeing places, going places she’s never gone before, I want her to be happy! So I’m going to pray and step back. I’m being so over protective I thought.
So,I said get some rest Mom you’ve never driven anywhere for real. I want you be be well rested because this is a major drive and it’s not a few hours. She promised me she would rest up and sleep well. So she would be ready for the drive the next day. I said I won’t bother you too much but make sure you call me when you get up. And before you get on the road.I love you Mom get some rest.
I tried to rest and it was crazy, every time I closed my eyes I could hear screaming and fear. I couldn’t rest two weeks has already gone by. And my Mothers not in arms reach or some place I could get to her. She’s never ever been gone this far out of my sight or reach. This has been bugging me! Its going to be ok Ive been telling myself these last two weeks. Its time for my Mom to come back that’s what I need to focus on. But why couldn’t I keep my mind off her driving back?
What’s this insane feeling in the pit of my stomach? Every since I was old enough to speak. I had a special gift of sight, I couldn’t explain it. Good or bad I would have open visions or day dreams I would call them, sometimes I would fall asleep and have dreams. People would say that’s déjà vu whenever you feel or see something and then it happens. I had that a lot and this was no different.
A lot of people would say you Shine! Whatever that means but I was fearful of my Mother driving back. And the driver she was with I wasn’t familiar with at all. i Would hear her praying with the driver often but I didn’t know enough to feel comfortable.
Why Did I Let Her Go???
As I said thinking back to watching her head to the check-in. I want to turn that wheel chair around and run for the door with my Mother. I couldn’t leave the parking lot I took a picture and I start to pray is this the right thing should I let my Mother go? She’s an adult I can’t run her life, but she’s my baby and she hasn’t been anywhere too far without me driving. Why am I so worry she should be OK. I continued to tell myself. But something inside of me said you should worry! After I took a picture of her being wheeled up to check in. I slowly walked back thinking she would be afraid to get on the plane and call me back. But I didn’t get a call back I made it to my SUV and I sat in a parking lot. Waiting for her call that little voice said don’t leave yet she’s going too call. Yes sound crazy but that truly happened. I called both my closes friends and told them what I was feeling. My long time Best Friend said why you let her go. Then my Bestie K said let’s just pray Treace. Then my phone rang and it was her. I said y’all I have to go this is my Momma. She said Treace come back. I said OK I’m on my way back in. I didn’t even leave I’m still in a parking lot I was waiting for you to call.
I jumped out my SUV and ran in the airport I was so excited my Mom decided to stay. I didn’t take the elevator I ran right up the stairs. I didn’t want to wait for anything I just wanted to get my Mother out of the airport and go home. As soon as I made it there I saw her smiling face. I said OK Mom you ready she said no they won’t let me take my lotions and perfumes on the airplane. I was like WHAT!!!! I couldn't leave the parking lot because that feeling that little voice in my head said she’s going to call you back. I thought she was calling me to take her back not come back at some lotion and perfume. I was pissed I wanted too throw that stuff in the trash. I wanted my Momma,” I want my Momma to come home.” I felt like a little girl going to school for the first time. And not wanting to be out of my Moms sight.
Time To Leave the Parking Lot
I watched planes leave and come in. But I knew it was time for me too leave the parking lot. I didn’t want to go. I was waiting for the real call. The call she would say: Treace come back and get me. I’m afraid to fly! But that call never came just the personal product call. That wasn’t worth a flip. I finally got up the nerve to pull out the parking lot and slowly drive home. It seemed like it took me ages too home. I drove so slow hoping I made the right choice. Letting my Little, Big Baby leave the nest. I thought what am I thinking my Mom deserve to enjoy her life, travel, and see new places. I’ve travel all over am I’m being selfish? I thought! I came home and got my son off to school after that I came home and got in bed depressed. Still watching that phone.
I Can Still See Her Standing There as I Took a Picture of Her
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2021 Latreace Handy Stephens