Debbie's life has never been easy. She writes extensively on love and healing which prompted her to write her first book 'After The Storm".
Memories Of Dad
I loved my father, more than anything or anyone in my entire life. A major memory of my father was when my sister and I had just started high school. After arriving home from the school one afternoon, with my Dad, we noticed a crumpled up note on the kitchen table with his name written across it. It was a letter from my mother telling him she had left him, and us, and was not going to return. She mentioned to him she had found another man. I will never forget that day, that moment, that hour, the look on his face as his heart splintered into a thousand pieces. Both my sister and I spent the rest of our growing up years living with Dad, who remained single until he passed away, aged 79 years old.
“I love you every day. And now I will miss you every day.”
— 'Mitch Albom'
Why My Father Was So Easy To Love
My Father's Kindness Was Exceptional
My father.was the world's best Dad. He was kind, gentle,shy and he worked hard to be able to raise my sister and I, especially after our mother left us. He was the most selfless human being I have ever known, material items meant nothing to him, he had so little himself. He never had a lot to give, but what he did have he gave to my sister and I, leaving himself short consistently. He was my best friend, the only person I have truly loved in my life and losing him has changed me forever.
He died from a heart attack Easter Sunday, 2012 in his own home while preparing to get ready to have lunch with us. My sister walked into his home that morning to see if he was ready, only to find him dead upon the hard floor in the kitchen.I remember getting the call that day, as a unbearable pain and grief spiraled into my body. I remember screaming and crying hysterically for the entire day and many days that followed. It didn't seem real that suddenly God had taken him, as well as not giving me a chance to say goodbye. "Why", I screamed angrily at God, "Why have you taken my Father?"
“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.”
— Vicki Harrison
My Tribute Video I Made For My Dad
A Father Is A Gift From God
“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could ever give another person. He believed in me.”
— Jim Valvano
Life After Losing Someone You Love
How Do You Go On?
For a long time after my Father passed away I cried everyday, only at night when I had tucked my two beautiful daughters into bed, so they didn't see how sad, broken I was inside.After burying my father, in the early weeks after his death, I constantly sobbed, the tears never stopped coming. Nothing can prepare you for the pain of losing a parent, and there is nothing no one can say to ease the sorrow you have inside. The worst part was kicking myself for never telling my father exactly what he meant to me. Laying in bed each night,I would think of all the things I should have told him, and mentally punished myself further mentally for being so stupid.
How Do I Recover From Losing A Parent
Ways Of Handling Grief And Finding Yourself Again
“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly – that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” Anne Lamott
Coping with grief is different in everyone of us. The levels, its intensity,even how many seasons it will last. My grief lasted many years after my Father's death, and finally now it has evolved to a sadness that lingers once in a while.My sadness sleeps inside of me until it awakens with the thoughts of my father.
I had to get in control of myself again. I teach my children to be joyful, kind and to dream. Therefore it was important for my girls to see my smile again, and to be assured I was OK after all they had seen me go through. Some of the tools I have used to finally move forward again are;
- Having and developing faith that there is a God, who is watching over my Dad, and to know that he is OK.
- Talking out loud to my father when I have alone time. I tell him all the things I never said and lay awake at night in regret.To have faith that he now knows them.
- Realizing that he truly does live in me by the acts of kindness I do in my life.
- Being the best mother I can be to my kids, so when it is my time to depart this world,their memories of me will keep them warm in the cold.
© 2020 Debbie Murray