My father- in- law has expired on 9th of Dec, 2012 last Sunday. His name is Naren Chandra Baruah and he has left behind his wife, Smt Moni Baruah and three sons, three daughters-in-laws, three grandchildren and many relatives. He was an employee of then AOC, Digboi. In Digboi itself, after voluntary retirement he was occupied and very actively involved in his restaurant and Guest house business. He was very popular among the people of different community like Bengali, Nepali etc of Digboi . He was socially very active and always was very caring about the below poverty line people.
This hub is about the special relationship and remembrances I share for my Deta who is no more.
Dear Deta, ( I used to call him as DETA, means father in Assamese language)……..
Though I know you are not here but you are very much around for me always and will be there for me. It was a very nice trip of life with you till 9th Dec 2012. The world is very empty without the much loving father around. I lost my father for the second time in my life. I lost my own father in the year 1996. But then he was keeping unwell and we were almost prepared for his departure for heavenly abode. It’s an altogether different phase and situation with you’re leaving from this world. I was not prepared though signals were very evident. For me it was kind of I was not ready to accept the blow of the fate so early.
Almost every evening we used to talk and now also I tend to look at your phone no. I just feel like calling your no and somehow feel if you pick up the phone. That evening I could not shed a drop of tear as it was kind of choked deep inside when for the last time I witnessed you. Its kind of hard for me to see the person always so full of life and strength to surrender in the hands of destiny. But then it is the reality we have to accept. But it was hard. You used to tease me while you were with us many times when I tried to leave your room thinking you had been sleeping. But then just before reaching the door of the room you would call me from behind teasing that I thought you were sleeping. The last time also I felt like you would call me from behind and say that you were not sleeping and you are just making a joke.
From the very starting you were so close to me. I do remember you always used to enjoy life so much. Unlike the general daughter – in – law relationship I was never scared for once to talk about anything to you. You gave us all the freedom a daughter can actually enjoy but its little uncommon for a daughter – in – law. We, three sisters – in – laws have had this privilege to have you as our father who was may be more liberal then our own father. I still remember you teaching me many dishes to cook starting from simple fish tenga then up to Ilish mashor vapot diya and what not! In any confusion it was just a dial away that I used to get all the answers from you. But now whom do I call? Whom to look forward? It’s really difficult and the family is now kind of a house without the strongest roof. Ma (Mother – in – law) is there always but your place will be very empty as I mainly used to have an extra bonding with you. I will be missing you, Deta !
After my own father had died it was always you whom I tend to talk so much about myriad of things and doubts. Then I did not felt the loss as you were there for me. You had this personality of being so open minded and carefree kind of. The time I met you have been all very precious for the future journey for me. The popularity you hold amongst the people of Digboi town is quite evident as the public gathering was immense during your death. I wish you just show us the way and guide us from wherever you are to bring up that values and culture in your three grandsons. You always used to be very outspoken and straight forward in your life. Sometimes you used to shout on us but that actually had made me feel very close to you as you always have the right to teach us when we were wrong. Now who will shout on us and who will show us the way?
A self made man you were and you completely established yourself well enough to teach your next generation to stand on their own feet to live life. With a job in Indian Oil Company, Digboi you had very successfully done your own business of hotel and guest houses and after voluntary retirement also very actively you were enjoying your time and helped numerous family in the difficult time in many occasions. The best thing I cherish about you is the helping attitude and the caring persona you projected for the poor and needy people always. It’s a quality to learn for lifetime. Many relatives and friends you had established practically with full help, guidance and everything to be successful in life and lead a family. The message you so far has given to us is to lead life not just only concerning our own world but for others as well.
Just want to say you DETA, wherever you are if you can know that with full heart and effort we will try to imbibe your ethos in our son to show him a better and happier way of life. I just want to say that I love you and care for you. Respect I always have deep down in my heart for you but love supersedes it for the care and understanding you always shown towards me. You are everywhere for me and always will be there when I will need you to show my way in my worst time and I am sure about that Deta, and I do pray for your eternal peace through this life beyond and forever.
With love, respect and a very special place in my mind always
Your daughter …………………………….
deergha (author) from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!! on August 18, 2021:
Thank you Rochelle, sorry for a reply after a gap of 5 long years. Hope you are doing good.
Lots of love and warmth your way from Assam, India.
Rochelle Ann De Zoysa from Moratuwa, Sri Lanka on December 21, 2015:
Hi I hope you are well. This is a very sentimental letter. Cherished memories of your father in law :) Merry Christmas and may God bless you!
deergha (author) from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!! on May 20, 2013:
Wowwww.....now this is something......I am truly honored and you are very kind. I have not reached any level but yes, I am just trying to learn many skills, styles, presentations, expressions and variations etc from all my wonderfully gifted hubber friends here. English is not my first language but I just love this language very much. OMG and I am really flattered for asking for how i have reached this level.. dear.....I am actually a novice here while actually masters are in abound all around. I just write what comes spontaneously to me and its wonderful to know that you have at least liked this. I am honored. Many thanks again....oh and actually I don have words to express my gratitude for expressing your feelings about my works here. God bless you and take care...
Hope you have a great day ahead
Sunil Kumar Kunnoth from Calicut (Kozhikode, South India) on May 18, 2013:
It is too touching, emotional and so sensitive. You have narrated things in a poetical way. I wonder how you write in such beautiful English, an Indian. Could you please share us some tips how you reached this level. I also noted the way you progressed in HP too is so amazing. You deserve a big clap and I don't hesitate to shower my appreciation on your skill and the speed. Congrats!
deergha (author) from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!! on February 11, 2013:
Thank you indeed for your condolence here. Yes he is very dear to me and i feel he is always with me now even. You are kind. God bless you always
Vickiw on February 11, 2013:
Dghbrh, I want to offer my condolences. I work with bereaved people each week, and my heart goes out to you with your loss of someone who was so dear to you. Thank you for writing this - it is always helpful to others when they can read about the grief experience of others.
deergha (author) from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!! on January 06, 2013:
Many thanks dear shining,
for reading this. Yes my deta is a very good man and very true man indeed. (verb is in present tense as he can't b past for me ). Its almost one month of his not being with around. But he will be always there for me somewhere. I tend to check his phone no all now and then. Its kind of his warmth for me. Thanks you for your prayers again.
Shining Irish Eyes from Upstate, New York on January 06, 2013:
I am so sorry for your loss of what sounds like such a good man, Naren Chandra Baruah. I took a break from Hub for a while and am only just finding this heartbreaking write. I truly send many prayers, sympathies and blessings to you and your loved ones during this trying an heartbreaking time.
Praying for the good man who was, is and will always be Naren Chandra Baruah.
deergha (author) from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!! on December 14, 2012:
Dear flashmakeit......this is hardest part of life but we can't do anything. All helpless is the feeling so far. Thanks for taking time off to comment here.
flashmakeit from usa on December 14, 2012:
Sorry to read about the lost of your father-in-law.