A Birthday of Note
A brief history of mine
The 65th birthday, a time of deep and dramatic changes, that wells up in me the images of life, my life and the myriad of experiences culminating in my present status, attitudes, victories, failures and regrets. A very brief precis of life left wanting.
But a few memoriesClick thumbnail to view full-size
Where has it gone?
I am standing, sitting on the threshold of the rest of my life, ostensibly with the best years having played out their themes and me cradling that milestone age 65!
But what has happened in those intervening years that have passed oh so quickly, just like my mother warned they would.
I cannot account for my life page and verse, and would not subject you to the monologue, but I can convey the big picture hopefully touching on my reasoning and actions.
Make no mistake, life happens to you!
From those days so far off now, to the ever present present.
I was a product of the fifties and feel privileged to have lived during a time of great social changes borne on the back of the music revolution. A dysfunctional family served to help me end up in hospital on more than one occasion, which helped colour my perceptions. Hospitals have been a feature in my life to the point that I would prefer to consign them to history.
Okay, I have been very fortunate to travel the globe working and reached senior positions in the projects I worked on. By default, I learned much about far off lands and peoples of every creed.
By nature I enjoy camaraderie but for the most part, I have acted on my own. My drive was borne of the shaky start in life. And so I have done many things in many places with many people. And thereby lies my Achilles heel, I have encountered some rejection but also embracing. My mercurial contrary character has both attracted and repelled people who have had the occasion to deal with my driven forceful character. I take no prisoners and then question myself about the outfall.
So before I get too involved what I am trying to convey that in my life I have had successes and many failures, usually in the personal arena.
My successes have never been enough to elevate my self-esteem and my failures have been on a grand and quite public scale, especially in the area of work. Those that would prefer to decry my will have to get in the queue behind me. There is nothing you can say that can top my self-berating regime relentlessly in the process highlighting yet another failure of mine. The successes were usually only noted by me if not celebrated.
So at 65, I find my self in the middle of another maelstrom of uncertainty and change and look back over the years, the people, the places, the memories and wonder what have I really achieved and the fear that time is limited to achieve that which will make me feel better about my life and feel better about me.
I do not want to leave a monument, but for some, I would like to leave fond memories!
My eternal love of all things foodClick thumbnail to view full-size
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© 2019 Mike Marsden-Hill