The Eyes Are Useless When the Mind Is Blind!
Wandering down a long, broad road, passing many big fields filled with shade trees as the ground is marshy, the leaves have turned brown with no one passing or near me as I search desperately to find a big destination called life. I'm not entirely sure how I wandered so far, but is as yet far off, and seems much further as I hope my target is approaching soon. As I look around me, I do not notice anything, and I don’t know if I can hear anything, yet I feel in my heart that my destination is very far.
I am wondering where is my best friend, she usually near no matter where I am, I'm compelled to share so much with her. After wandering for so long not knowing my location, I’m frightened, and I feel vulnerable as I look for direction, sleep has deserted me leaving me dazed, and I need a light to guide me along out of this darkness as I've lost my vision and my sanity has wandered off. Am I time traveling, I ask myself as I’m afraid to take the next step and yet I can’t stand still. I feel like I'm in a battle with my mind, and I'm drawing my thoughts from working for me.
As a result, now I am searching and seeking as if my eyes are closed. I feel as if I am searching feeling for the ground with my good eyes shut because now my mind is lost and my eyes are useless when the mind is blind. As I continue to move forward searching, seeking for my destination, I start to talk to the Lord sharing with Him. Lord, I feel You are near me, I know Your hands are stretched out to help me, but You can’t assist me if I'm blindly reaching and seeing nothing.
It never once crosses my mind that I might be able to run and hide. Will danger find me? Can I be captured and killed? I feared my freedom, and I don't particularly want to die. As the thought of what could happen ran rapidly in my mind. In a moment of epiphany, with a temporary resuscitated mind, I come to recognize that I cannot fight this war in fear. Now my mind is telling me I’m lost because I’ve traveled too far, I am frustrated and tired of wandering as I feel I want to fall asleep. My paralysis is the result of my despair, and the end of it will be no different from the beginning. Lord, I have allowed myself to sink.
Because I’ve never had the attitude, the ambition, or the willpower, I am sinking to the absence of my mind. I suddenly notice again that in all my wandering; I am very alone. I question my movements, my motives, my past, my decisions. Should I keep going? Will the safe place call home be worth it upon my arrival? Can I make a U-turn and change my course forever? Although there is no traffic in sight, yet, I am asking myself what am I to do as I am afraid and my direction is so unclear.
My mind is telling me I’ve traveled entirely too far and I am ashamed and exhausted from the long hard traveling as I feel I need to render and release my fear. I realize that I am finally ready to find my way; I am in need of the Lord to guide me. I ask Him to please forgive me and lead me in the right direction. I gather from this long yet tiresome journey that He knows my every fault has seen all my mistakes, and still He is willing to love me and be here for me.
Since the beginning of this journey, you seek to help me, as you know I'm so afraid of what's to come and also that I need You. You even knew I would reject Your help. Though I refused You out of fear, I have come to recognize I still have so far to travel on this journey; and I now understand...to receive what I do need — I'll have to have the courage to be strong and go after it. It is time to finally seek help because I am blindly wandering in the wrong direction. I need your help, I am in darkness and have no way of finding my way.
Lord, I do not like what I am seeing, now that my eyes are open so I can see, I need help and deliverance. I realize the eyes are useless when the mind is blind; I am no longer afraid of what’s before me, I desire to be set free. Although I’ve been waiting so long for you to help me, the setbacks and hindrances are my fears.
Thank you, Lord, for guiding me and replacing my fear with strong desire which allowed me to find my way. I am no longer wondering and the weakness no longer vacation in my veins. I was too blind to see or find my way, and I found myself getting lost in my head until I allowed you to open my eyes and help me to understand I was worth being saved. I can see my way; I can move forward, and I never felt more alive; finally, my legs can carry me to my destination; home.
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