Your Higher Power: A Journey Not a Destination

Updated on March 31, 2018
Kevin St Hilaire profile image

A struggling father and recovering addict recently released from county prison in search of a new way of life.


The earthly body and the cosmic soul

It is nice to think of the afterlife as an eternal possibility. To be a benevolent deity with the whole universe to navigate. All is implied to be virtuous in God's kingdom. What exactly does it look like? What does it feel like? "Will Heaven have facebook?" is probably a popular question in today's age. It seems like it is worth the sacrifice for salvation hand in hand. God does not seem to prejudice according to the bible either.

Galatians 3:28

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."

So it seems like regardless of all of my sins or what I believe I can make it to an eternal place. A lot of people nowadays seem to have trouble with faith, however. Especially Millenials like and including myself. (For the record, I am not proselytizing because I don't even know where I stand here). It can be hard in a day and age of such rapid progression, technology, and science. I sometimes ask myself if technology is going to fix our number one malady - mortality. Because I do believe that we are here for two reasons. The exploitation of sciences secrets and the will of God. I mention God's will yet I don't have any idea how genuinely I feel about Him or the idea of him. Better to believe and be wrong than to never believe at all. There is no loss in the practice of having faith. This is why I consider it. I want to synchronize my earthly and cosmic beings into one entity in this life and the next.


The global theological war with science

From the beginning of time in Christendom, science was suppressed and silenced by the church. Sphericity was something that was laughed at for quite some time until the middle ages. Everyone thought the world was flat until some people like Thomas Aquinas had the faith to look into it. No one wanted to believe that there were in fact antipodes opposing each other from one point to the other making the earth in fact round.

Geocentrism verses heliocentrism was another battle amongst the church and science. People believed the earth was at the center of the universe and everything revolved around the earth. That sounds kind of exclusionary to the rest of the Universe. Even up until the 17th century comets were left unexplained in educational curriculum and churches as people thought they implied impending doom.

Natural selection and evolution, however, are still hardly accepted in churches today even with scientific evidence.

Religion and science are slowly coming together over time yet the closer they get the more skeptics it produces.

Just have faith...

This is the hardest part to wrap my head around. It's like falling with a blindfold on and expecting someone else with a blindfold to catch you while you just believe that you won't fall. Blind faith. God reveals himself in mysterious ways sure yet he never truly unveils himself. Maybe it isn't meant to be. Maybe it would be too overwhelming for us. A true gift is a surprise and eternity is a gift. Maybe we aren't supposed to be given a heads up or a sneak peak of this whole thing. Sometimes it has made me suicidal due to impatience and curiosity which is the scariest kind of suicidal ideation. Of course, it was due to an inability to accept life during hard times but I'm sure nothing will be easy in eternity either.

Being part of a community is important and that's a big part of religion. Unity. So even if you are unsure I guess it can't hurt giving it a try regardless of science, technology, agnosticism, or age cohort. Today I have accepted that I need some type of higher power in my life or I will lose faith in not only all that is Holy but myself as well. There are a lot of troubles that we face as human beings and it's hard to face them alone. I have my family and I have my kids but sometimes I feel very alone in this world at the end of the day. No human being has the ability to fix me but maybe something up above will if I give it a chance. Believing is just the beginning and I know that faith is not a destination but an unbridled lifelong journey...

Faith does not make thing easy, it makes them possible.

— Luke 1:37

© 2018 Kevin St Hilaire


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    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 3 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Well that is a well written piece leaving me with many questions to work through. I like the style of writing about spiritual things incorporating understandings without citation. And yet Galatians was well placed. (maybe just because I love that verse)

      I will come back for more contemplation.