Unloved Child ≠ Unloved Adult

Updated on December 24, 2017
MarinaPuzic profile image

From early ages, I was fond of writing. I like sharing thoughts and feelings with the world.

Did you feel unloved in childhood? Do you blame your parents for everything? You need to forgive them and finally grow up.

Unhappy childhood

We all know someone who has experienced a lack of love and attention in childhood. If you don’t receive love, you will feel very unhappy. Some parents don’t know to express their feelings. The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or chocolate. It is focused attention. You can’t buy love.

Love is understanding, attention, acceptance and caring. Parents need to accept their children as they are. If they try to change them, their children won’t have self-confidence. They will believe they are not good enough.

It’s not unusual that some parents don’t know to express love, but it is not the biggest mistake. Some parents abandon their children or insult and abuse them. It is the worst experience for children which will have a bad influence on their adulthood.

If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older.

— Tom Stoppard

Unloved child ≠ unloved adult

If you feel a lack of love in childhood, you will believe that nobody will love you in adulthood. What’s more, you won’t love yourself. Self-love is a base of every other type of love. You won’t have self-esteem and self-confidence. If you don't see your worth, nobody will see it either. We show people how to treat us.

We won’t be capable of finding the real friends and a healthy relationship. When we are young, we are surrounded by our parents who are always close to us. They are the most important people in our development. We will choose people who will hurt us like our parents. Maybe we only want to reveal past again and change everything, but we can't do it.

In addition, your parents maybe didn’t know how to love you. Maybe their parents didn’t teach them how to love. You should understand them and forgive for your inner peace. Maybe they didn’t hurt you on purpose. Learn how to forgive and move on. Maybe you will realize that they loved you but on their way. We all have our ways to express love. Let go of the past because future is waiting for you!

As a conclusion, there is a big chance for an unloved child to become unloved adult, but every rule has an exception. If you want, you can be an exception. You should recognize a bad pattern you are stuck in and break it. It is very difficult but you should find some help. Experts will help you boost self-confidence.

Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward.

— Roy Bennett

Learn how to be loved

Love is a never-ending learning process. When we are young, we don’t know a lot of things. We will learn powerful life lessons through our experience. Would you like to be unhappy forever? Do you have the strong will to change yourself? You should begin now! Don’t wait anymore. Don’t waste your time! Life is happening now. You deserve happiness. We accept the love we think we deserve. You deserve to be loved. Do you know that?

What's more, it is not what you are that holds you back. It is what you think you are not. Do you believe that you don’t deserve the love? How many virtues do you have? Do you have a lot? It is the first step in building your self-confidence. When you see your worth, the others will see it, too. They will begin to respect you and love you.

In Conclusion

You should know you can change your life. If you are looking for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror. Everything depends on you. You can create a great future.

You are always free to change your mind and choose a different future, or a different past.

— Richard Bach


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    • MarinaPuzic profile image

      Marina Puzic 8 weeks ago from Serbia

      Thank you for commenting. I know a lot of people who were unlove in childhood. I like analizing how childhood affects someone's personality.

      It is great because you found someone who is affectionate person. Sometimes we find someone who is totally different from our parents. If our parents don't pay attention to us, we should find people who will. It is the right choice.

    • Shernae Grey profile image

      Adrestia Chet 2 months ago from Bahamas

      Great article. I had parents who didn’t show affection but there were things they did that showed me they loved me. Or I could say that instead of focusing on what they didn’t do I gave some attention and credit to what they did do. However as an adult I struggled with showing affection towards my partner and children, which I think attracted a very affectionate partner and overly affectionate children so luckily for me I had no choice but to give in. The desire to learn to be affectionate may have played a role in that also.

      To add to my happy ending, through watching me interact with my children, my parents began to display the very same acts towards me. It’s been wierd but very wonderful.

    • Liztalton profile image

      Liztalton 2 months ago from Washington

      Very insightful and positive outlook! I personally know someone close to me who struggles with a parent who doesn't know how to love. It can be really hard to move past and forgive for yourself, not for them.