Marina is crazy about positive psychology. She wants to inspire you to improve yourself.
Are you ready to boost your self-esteem? We will help you. Maybe you were an unloved child, but you won't be an unloved adult anymore. You can't change your past, but your future depends on you.
An Unhappy Childhood
We all meet someone who has experienced a lack of love and attention in early childhood. If you don’t receive love at early ages, you can suffer forever or overcome the painful past.
Love is attention, acceptance and caring. Parents need to accept their children as they are. If they try to change them, their children will suffer from low self-esteem.
Some parents don’t know how to express their feelings. The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or chocolate as a lot of them thinks. It is focused attention. You can’t buy love.
It’s not unusual that some parents don’t know to express love, but it is not their biggest mistake. Some of them abandon, insult or abuse their children. It is the worst experience for the little child which almost always have a bad influence on its adulthood.
If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older.
— Tom Stoppard
Unloved Child ≠ Unloved Adult
If you were unloved child, you wouldn't love yourself. Self-love is a base of every other type of love. If you don't see your worth, nobody will see it either. We show people how to treat us.
Learn to accept yourself. Self-acceptance is the ability to value all parts of yourself. Nobody is perfect, but everyone is unique.
If we don't love ourselves and have low self-confidence, we won’t find the real friends and a healthy relationship.
When we are young, we live with our parents who are always close to us. They are the most important people in our development. If they hurt us, we will choose people who will hurt us like them. We only want to reveal past again and change everything, but we can't do it.
Your parents maybe didn’t know how to love you because their parents didn’t teach them to express love. You should forgive them to increase your inner peace. It is possible they didn’t hurt you on purpose. Learn how to forgive and move on. Try to realize they loved you, but on their way.
As a conclusion, the unloved child almost always becomes the unloved adult, but every rule has an exception. You should break a negative pattern. It is very hard, but you should find help. Experts will help you boost self-esteem and self-confidence. You can also read positive psychology books about self-confidence. Use positive affirmations. Positive affirmations are positive statements that can reprogram your mind to see yourself in a better light.
Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward.
— Roy Bennett
Learn to Love Yourself
The unloved child can learn to love itself and boost self-esteem. Love is a never-ending learning process. We will learn powerful life lessons through our experience. Only one power can change yourself - you. You should begin now! Don’t wait anymore. Don’t waste your precious time! Life is happening now. You deserve happiness. We accept the love we think we deserve.
Do you believe you don’t deserve the love? How many virtues do you have? Do you have a lot? The first step in building self-esteem is self-consciousness. Write all your virtues down on the paper. Read them every day. Reprogram your mind and boost self-esteem.
Our thoughts determine our lives. When you see your worth, the others will see it, too. They will respect and love you.
Love yourself in the right way. Always keep moving. Unless you let go of the past, you can't move forward. Better future is waiting for you!
Even if you were the unloved child, you don't need to be the unloved adult. You can boost your self-esteem. You can change your life. Tell yourself every day, "I can change my life." If you are looking for one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror.
You are always free to change your mind and choose a different future, or a different past.
— Richard Bach
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
Marina Puzic (author) from Belgrade, Serbia on November 21, 2017:
Thank you for commenting. I know a lot of people who were unlove in childhood. I like analizing how childhood affects someone's personality.
It is great because you found someone who is affectionate person. Sometimes we find someone who is totally different from our parents. If our parents don't pay attention to us, we should find people who will. It is the right choice.
Shernae Miller from Bahamas on November 21, 2017:
Great article. I had parents who didn’t show affection but there were things they did that showed me they loved me. Or I could say that instead of focusing on what they didn’t do I gave some attention and credit to what they did do. However as an adult I struggled with showing affection towards my partner and children, which I think attracted a very affectionate partner and overly affectionate children so luckily for me I had no choice but to give in. The desire to learn to be affectionate may have played a role in that also.
To add to my happy ending, through watching me interact with my children, my parents began to display the very same acts towards me. It’s been wierd but very wonderful.
Liztalton from Washington on November 20, 2017:
Very insightful and positive outlook! I personally know someone close to me who struggles with a parent who doesn't know how to love. It can be really hard to move past and forgive for yourself, not for them.