The Upside-Down Reality of Hope When All Hope is Gone

Updated on March 21, 2017

ONE night in thousands alive, one experience of being resurrected, one delivery from torment into tranquillity; one that started it all. One special night.

Eight months previously, over a 24-hour period, I’d lost my wife, free access to my children, my family home, and ultimately my job, as I couldn’t bear to be travelling far and wide, apart from my three daughters for lengths of time. Eight months later, and there was still this grief that lingered and lurked, not every day, but still it threatened sporadically to assail me.

It never felt like a special night to begin with. I felt like life was ending. Of the months of same such nights in that period of my life, I again plied my faith, praying fervently before God. He was all I had at that time, and nearly all the time. Even as I felt His comfort and empathy, there was so much pain. It was a night I simultaneously experienced the sheer temerity of hell on earth and the absolute comfort of God in heaven, as if both intersected my being at precisely the same time. Only as I looked back was this night the most special of my life to date.

Going upstairs in the townhouse I was renting, I decided to take a bath, to submerge myself. To escape this living hell. Dripping wet I walked across the hall and flopped onto the bed and drew the covers over me. Shivering emotionally, I continued to bellow my heart out to God. I continued weeping. Until my spirit gave itself up to sleep.

The next morning, I woke up in the downstairs bedroom. I have no recollection of moving downstairs, but I must have done so during the early hours of the morning.

I’d fallen asleep upstairs in utter lament. Something miraculous had happened. I woke up downstairs refreshed in God’s joy. This was the first time I’d experienced the truth embedded in Psalm 30:5b — “though tears linger in the evening, but joy comes with the morning.” Not only was there a joy in me that transcended my circumstances, there was a peace and a confidence that had been gifted to me wrapped in God’s grace.

That night, that first night, I learned this truth: the power of hope is never more potent than when all hope is gone.

When all we can do is hope, we hope, for there’s purpose in having no other option.

***

Over the years since this foundational night-and-morning experience I’ve had numerous similar experiences of lament-in-prayer-as-preparation-for-the-heart as an antecedent to God’s overnight healing.

I’ve learned that God loves nothing more than a broken and contrite heart at prayer. A heart surrendered, for it has no other hope to rely upon than the only hope we ever have: God, Himself.

I have also learned to check my heart for resistance when I haven’t received healing from God. Whenever I’ve been resistant to His work in me, in having failed to surrender, I’ve also failed to receive the comfort only He can give.

God will always help, giving the comfort only He can give, and restoring us as only He can, but we must surrender.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, letterpile.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://letterpile.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)