Starting Over

Updated on November 8, 2017
Candice Thomas profile image

Candice is a dedicated educator and counselor who has experienced the joy and the disappointments of love and learning to love.

Start Over Stronger

There I was, sitting on the edge of my bed, wondering what's next? Another failed relationship, and years of my life wasted? Wait...no. Not wasted. Although it may not feel like it now, those seven years I spent being happy, being sad, and being angry were not wasted. It was a hard lesson learned. And now, after realizing every mistake that we made, and forgiving myself for letting it go on for so long, it's time to move forward. It's finally time to get up out of this bed and move on with my life.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you (if you do not already know) how hard it is to let go of something that you tried so hard to hold on to. Your heart wants to go one way, but your brain is telling you to go another way. So which one do you follow? Well, I say that you can do both. If your heart says that you still love him, then love him. You can still love someone and move on. Let me repeat that...YOU CAN STILL LOVE SOMEONE AND MOVE ON! In fact, I found that, for me, it is healthier to love him and leave him, than to stay bitter and angry.

Research has shown that happier people tend to be healthier people. You can't be happy when you're sitting at home crying about what you used to have (or didn't have). I cried for months, and then became angry. I just could not understand how I could be so stupid, so ignorant, so loving, and so forgiving. This was hard, because I do still love him, but I had to leave him.I felt like I deserved to be miserable, without love, and without life. But then I finally woke up.

So here I am, sitting on the edge of my bed, thinking about how fortunate I am to have a chance to be loved by someone who is worthy of receiving my love, and to be in this position to have happiness once and for all. I have learned from my mistakes, and I know this is not the end. Everyone deserves happiness, and leaving a bad relationship does NOT show weakness. Starting over isn't easy, but believe me, you will start over stronger.

To Leave, Or Not to Leave!

Would you rather leave the relationship to find happiness elsewhere? Or, would you rather stay unhappy in the relationship you're currently in, knowing it's not going to get better?

See results

© 2017 Candice Thomas

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 weeks ago

      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      If you go to the grocery store to purchase an apple but buy an onion instead whose fault is that? Do you curse the onion for not being an apple? No! You learn to become a "better shopper"!

      Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.

      The goal is to find someone who {already is} what you want.

      Truth be told when it comes to love and relationships most of us (fail our way) to success. Very few people hit a homerun their first, second, third, or fourth time up at bat. If this were not the case we'd all be married to our high school sweethearts!

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde