She is one of Eber and Wein Publishing's best poets of 2018 and lives in Arkansas, USA. She is a youtuber and a blessed woman.
Dealing with shame
As humans, we tend to do so many things in life that might at times bring shame or guilt. There are so many little and big "mistakes" that can be made in this wonderful life that can cause so much pain and inner destruction. When we are children we are suppose to be taught what is right and what is wrong, but at times as adults we ignore our own intuition, conscience, or spiritual person we all have within us. I have noticed that this simple yet dangerous act can cause chaos, suffering, and even death. The wonderful news is that with one simple act all this can be avoided as well as erased as something holding us back in our own life. Prayer is the key to all of man's burdens that are put on by our own shame.
My perspective on sin
All About Embarrassment
Embarrassment is a painful but important emotional state. Most researchers believe that its purpose is to make us feel bad about our social or personal mistakes so that we don't repeat them (thus benefiting the larger society), and its physiological side effects—like blushing, sweating, or stammering—may signal to others that we recognize our error and are not cold-hearted or oblivious. In fact, studies have shown that people who act embarrassed after committing a “bad act”—like knocking over a store display—are perceived as more likable than those who don't, regardless of whether or not anything is done to make amends for the mistake.
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In this wonderful life we can experience so many different types of emotions and not all the ones we want. What never ceases to amaze me is God's grace and love towards his children. I could never and will never understand the immense love of God and his ability to love his creation. The closest thing that I can compare this to is motherhood and still am in awe in how much I am loved by whose I am. I didn't always know this though. It wasn't until daily living and just life as well as God's holy spirit speaking to me I came to know and take a glimpse as to what I now know.
I use to walk around yearning and searching for some time of love, acceptance, and freedom that I had seen in so many people but felt unworthy to experience it. This feeling of joy that has no end and can truly turn your entire life around. I remember thinking, "Is this it?" "Am I always going to feel this way?"
There comes a moment in life where you have stop the unending cycle of self shame and self doubt that just leads to suicide, Weather it be spiritual death were you just feel empty and just rooming around with no purpose or actual death of which I read so many devastating stories on how teens and adults decide to give into the lies the enemy tells them.
I have some great news for you though, you can be free from this. I have and love sharing hope to people who may not have it. My hope and inspiration always comes from the one who created me but most of all I have found that Jesus is at the center of it all for me. If i would have never realized or recognized the importance of the act on the cross, I would have been fine with just being a child of God but not be free. I believe there is a difference. When you know Jesus and just accept him, like I have, there is this unexplained perspective in life that you can't capture without him. So many people talk and practice their religion, which I respect, but for me personally: Jesus is the answer. He is the one who can take your shame, pain, burdens, mistakes, and just junk we all have. God uses this to shape and mold us into a more perfect person.
Even though there are so many Christians who have known about Jesus and hear about him in church, I am still amazed by the number that has not actually walked with him. As a church going believer, the conversations I have every Sunday and even during the week I encounter so many people who rely on their own mind or someone else. They first seek help from their spouse, brother, sister, mother, father, family member or friend. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this but it is limited to what they can tell you instead of what God can tell you personally. I mean don't get me wrong, God can you anyone around to help guide you or encourage you but you also have to think just like God can you that person, so can the enemy. Humans are just prone to be of this world and can very easily just fall and fail, it's in our DNA. I have come to realize and accept that the one I need to go first is God. Seek his answer before anyone else and then listen to what they have to say.
Accepting God's will instead of my own or someone else's version of what your life can be like is a dangerous and unstable walk. If you can just accept that Jesus died for you and wants to help you in this chaotic life, everything will change.
Talking with Him
There are so many different ways that you can pray. Even by not saying a word out loud God knows your need and is working on your behalf when you truly seek him. I am so blessed to know and serve such a powerful and mighty God that I have heard his voice, even when I didn't expect it or thought I needed it. I am still amazed at the amount of patience He has with me.
I love learning about God and his precious word but at times I just want to forget it all and just talk to him like I would with my husband. Forget all the bible verses I know are prayers and have brought me so much peace, and just sit with him and hear what HE has to say to me. I think this is the hardest thing for me. I guess because I'm a women and tend to speak more than I should at times but listening to what God has to say to me is always refreshing. I encourage you to find your to connect with our Father and just see what he has to say to you. It is never bad but is there to lead you to a more wonderful and fulfilling life with HIM.