ShyeAnne is a remote camp cook on the spectacular west coast of British Columbia, Canada.
Sticks & Stones Will Break My Bones
I remember this charming little chant from my childhood days.
In theory this holds true, however, it may be challenging to remember to live by these words if someone is saying ignorant things to you, or stating things you do not want to hear.
We have a responsibility to one another to facilitate the power of positive thoughts and to use positive, assertive, clear words in our interpersonal communications with friends, loved ones and the people that you meet while you're walking down the street.
The power of positive thought coupled with good words is an amazing interpersonal communication medium to strive for.
We have a responsibility to speak respectfully to those we interact with, regardless of circumstance. When someone barks at us or throws insults our way or perhaps gives us the cold shoulder, this does not give us the right to treat that person disrespectfully. We need to remember not to judge. We need to remember to be respectful.
We need to remember to be respectful in all our interactions with others, always.
This does not mean we need to accept the behaviors. When we use assertive communications skills, we are then able to say what we need to say in calm and respectful tones.
Good Energy Colors
Ignorance Does Not Excuse Ignorance
Ignorance does not excuse ignorance.
We do not have the right to respond to unfavorable communications using insulting words, negative tones or aggressive silence. We have a responsibility to put on our grown up pants and respond in a calm and kind manner, regardless of circumstance.
Another option is to not engage in the communication if there is no possibility for civility. It is much more desirable to exercise the option of leaving the conversation until calmer heads again prevail.
When we respond by raising our voices or use profanity we lose our power.
I know this first hand because I spent many a day feeling powerless and impotent after engaging my mouth and reacting aggressively with my words instead of responding assertively from a place of personal power.
We need to remember to respond in a calm manner.
If that feels impossible, silence is the second best choice.
'Silence is Acceptance' does not necessarily mean you accept the adverse communications, it could also simply mean you accept there is no moving forward in a positive way with the communication at this point.
Using Your Words Effectively
For some people, being respectful and kind seems to come naturally. Some humans have the ability to let the trials and tribulations of life roll off their backs. These same people appear to be positively engaged in participating in productive activities. They are the people that volunteer in their community soup kitchens, old folks homes, beach and roadside clean ups etc;
Then there are those humans that appear to be perpetually discontent with impatience and anger simmering just below their surfaces. Simmering and stewing,waiting for someone to piss them off so they have a reason to react and let loose some of the angst they are feeling. These people want to share the misery, blame someone or something external to themselves, for their unhappiness.
These comments are based on what I perceive through observations and are not intended as judgments.
Then there are those that appear to possess and have the ability to use a balanced mix of all emotions available to us. I envy those humans.
Earth's population contains a wildly eclectic and diverse pile of communication traits that serve to define us individually and collectively.
I have friends that have experienced extremely rugged events in their pasts. Drug addiction, abuse, neglect, poverty. I also know people that have been brought up with compassion, understanding and love, nurtured by loving caregivers. I see an equal distribution of kindness and ignorance in both groups, with no rhyme or reason given to life circumstance.
I am beginning to believe it is simply a cosmic coin flip that determines the path our personalities take. This flip of a coin determines whether we are happy, sad, mad, glad, content, angry, loving and lovable. This is my personal and simplistic explanation. How we communicate these emotions to others is our constant responsibility.
I believe, once we reach adulthood, that we have a responsibility to ourselves and our fellow humans to learn to use our words in an assertive and kind way. Nothing positive will be gained by yelling, screaming or using demeaning or sarcastic words.
'Sarcasm is the Wit of a Fool.'
Are You a Sarcastic Soul?
Sarcasm, the Wit of a Fool
I spent many years foolish years embracing that wit. I still use sarcasm but I have greatly tempered my delivery over the years. I actually do think before I speak, sometimes. One of my friends is very sarcastic. Some of the comments she makes are very funny, depending on one's sense of humor, but none-the-less, very sarcastic. She often adds the disclaimer, 'Did I say that out loud?', at the end of a particularly cutting remark. I used to laugh at some of the things she dared utter but I was uncomfortable if I was the target the remark was directed at.
Words in and of themselves, do not have power. It is how and when we use these words that determines the gist of the meaning, the message we are attempting to deliver.
This Word Has Too Much Power
There is a word in the English language that starts with C and ends with T. There are two letters in the middle. The word rhymes with bunt. This is a word that is often delivered in a derogatory way and appears to have an extremely negative effect on some humans, mostly women. I am not offended by this word. I would use it on these pages instead of dodging around it, except to do so may contribute to my writing being flagged as inappropriate.
I have had this word hurled in my direction more than once. The word itself doesn't carry weight, it is the delivery that empowers the punch. Words are just that, words. We can choose how we are going to let words affect us at any given time. I think it is an honor to be called a c--t, but I don't think it does much for one's feeling of self worth if it is strung together with a bunch of other socially unacceptable words.
- At the end of the day, like all the rest, it is simply a word.
- We get to choose, on a regular basis, what we are going to allow to offend us.
- Use your words in a good way, every day, if you are evolved enough to be able to do so.
- Words are all we have. Words have the power to make, or break, someone's day.
Insults and profanity are the lowest form of communication. They serve no purpose at all.
© 2011 ShyeAnne
ShyeAnne (author) from Deep Bay, British Columbia, Canada on December 05, 2015:
Thanks Raj, I missed your comment too..
Raj on December 16, 2014:
At last! Someone with the insight to solve the prbleom!
ShyeAnne (author) from Deep Bay, British Columbia, Canada on November 20, 2013:
Thank you Jakobah, I missed your comment many months ago. It is never too late to say Thank You !!
Jakobah on February 17, 2012:
Positive thoughts means positive actions.