Anger Can Be Managed

Updated on June 21, 2020
LilianeNajm profile image

I have completed a Core Competence Specialist training with Bellies Inc. The emphasis was on women’s health especially in the pelvic area.


Our Power to Choose our Response

Is freedom to act, speak, or think as we wish without restriction possible?

My favorite quote on the subject of freedom is, “Between stimulus and response there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” by Viktor E. Frankl.

I am fond of this quote because what first occurred to me when I thought of freedom was doing what I want when I want. But that’s the problem; acting without a sense of responsibility leads to chaos not to freedom. The consequences of careless, thoughtless freedom would lead us most of the time to facing more problems than we would wish. Lucky are those who can escape the consequences of their actions, if that is even possible. Most people believe that whatever we do will come back at us one way or another.

Freedom is as much internal as it is external. External freedom is found in the ability to think and act freely and not being imprisoned or enslaved. Internal freedom can be found in the choices we make in life, without being limited by dogma or a belief system, or by outside forces. Freedom is an awareness of our deep beliefs and the consequences of our actions on others and on our lives.

Total freedom does not really exist. As long as we live in this world, our behaviors and actions are limited by the right of others, by how much resources we have at our disposal, and the extent to which our environment allows us to be free and act freely.

I love the idea of “free will” but don’t really believe in it. We are bound by so many restrictions in real life, many of which we don’t even think about, that the idea of total freedom and free will is chimerical. We dream of total freedom, but it is impossible to live.

Is there a wiggle room for our desire to live life as we see fit when we constantly have to accommodate the rights of other people and the restrictions of reality?

What can we do? We could:

  • Stop looking for the approval of other people on every little thing. Our life is not more worthwhile because other people think so. Getting external approval from others is not more important than our own inner respect and sanction.
  • We don’t need to follow other people’s plan to achieve a particular goal in order to feel worthy. We are worthy and valued just by being ourselves.
  • We don’t need more and more stuff – cars, shiny toys, exotic vacations etc. – to feel worthy. Many people have all these and keep seeking validation but still don’t feel good about themselves. Constantly seeking outside validation will lead to mental and emotional ill-ease and sometimes disease.
  • We are whole and complete by our own right. We are enough. Ours is the final word of what our fulfilling life looks like.
  • We could enjoy what we are and what we have because no one can go inside us and dictate what we should enjoy.
  • The validation and admiration of others are short-lived and will never fulfill us. We could start by finding out what really fulfills us and makes us feel whole, then pursue it. This is the dream worth chasing.
  • Freedom vs. alienation – Feeling alienated means "of or belonging to another place" like an alien. Alienation happens when people isolate themselves from their environment or from other people. They repeatedly reject society or loved ones. The danger of alienation lies not only in physical distance but in distancing themselves from their own emotions.
  • Freedom is not a place. Many prisoners like Victor E. Frankl found freedom in spite of being physically confined and facing hardship. Freedom is not shedding responsibility or alienating ourselves from others. Freedom is inside us. It is freeing ourselves from a world that tells us we are not enough and must do more to show that we are more.

We can choose what a happy and fulfilling life looks like for us, and do our best to make it happen.

Search for Meaning

Viktor E Frankl’s book “Man’s Search for Meaning” is about his life in Nazi death camps and the lessons he picked up for spiritual survival. He believed that humans cannot avoid suffering but can choose (freedom) how to cope with it, find meaning in it, and move forward with a new purpose. He stated that our main drive in life is not to seek pleasure but to find and pursue what we individually believe is meaningful.

© 2020 Liliane Najm


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • LilianeNajm profile imageAUTHOR

      Liliane Najm 

      5 days ago from Toronto, Canada

      it’s nice to meet kindred spirits.

    • emagrecimentofitness profile image


      6 days ago from las vegas

      truth I do that a lot. Thanks for sharing.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)