You By Default: Messy Hair, Happy Heart

Updated on August 1, 2019
Jes Morgan profile image

Once you learn the art of self-love, you won't ever look back.

Messy Hair, Happy Heart
Messy Hair, Happy Heart

Real, Raw Me

Took my saying “messy hair, happy heart” to a whole new level this morning...

Self love is a fickle beast. Everyone preaches it these days, right?! Yet how dare you actually practice it! How arrogant?!

We preach and preach about learning to love yourself and practicing self love. Then we judge anyone and everyone who actually has the nerve to practice what they preach.

A few years ago, I was not a fan of self-love. Nor did I know how to practice it. I spent the majority of my life beating myself down. Two years ago, that all changed. I looked at my daughter's beautiful little face, and realized that she was watching my every move. As was my son. I decided right then and there that I did not want them to grow up learning to beat themselves down. I wanted them to grow up to be strong and confident. How could I preach that, if I was a living, breathing example of the exact opposite.

So I began to change my ways. And here I am, practicing self-love, regardless of whether or not another grown human thinks that it makes me arrogant...


What exactly is 'self-love'? Well if you ask good ole Merriam Webster, self-love is "an appreciation of one's own worth or virtue; proper regard for and attention to one's own happiness or well-being".

What does that look like in action? Well if you ask me... Self-love is loving yourself even when you’re not all dolled up. Self-love is taking care of you in every realm possible - physically, mentally, spiritually, professionally, financially, etc. Self-love is being so comfortable in your own skin that you’re not afraid to be vulnerable. Self-love is loving who you are becoming so intensely, that you can see THIS in the mirror and still smile. Self-love is seeing THIS in the mirror and not belittling yourself, but instead saying ‘dang lady, you are rocking this!’

So how do we do it? How exactly does one practice self love? Well first and foremost, self-love is never harming. Not in any way, shape, or form. If your idea of practicing self-love by binge drinking which in turn causes you to wake up the following morning with a hangover, I am begging you to reconsider.

When it comes to practicing self-love, a few of my personal favorite habits include:

  • Yoga. Yoga. Yoga!
  • Playing and laughing with my children
  • Journaling or writing
  • Gym'ing
  • Listening to self-development podcasts or videos
  • Reading something uplifting
  • Getting out in nature and adventuring
  • Walking/talking with my fella
  • Meditating
  • Calling or geting together with a friend

Stimulate your mind, body, or soul in a positive manner. Choose your life. Stop letting life choose you.

You Deserve Better

So ladies (and gents)... In those moments when you’re not all ‘extra’. In those moments when you find YOU bashing on YOU, stop it! Go find a mirror, look at yourself, and say ‘YOU ARE BETTER THAN THE BULLSHIT YOU’RE SPEWING AT YOURSELF!’ Say it over and over and over again. Say it until you start to believe it. And continue to say it every single day after.

And always remember... the messier the hair, the happier the heart.

Practice Makes Perfect

Do you practice Self-Love on a daily basis?

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Questions & Answers


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      • Amanda Buck profile image

        Amanda Buck 

        6 months ago from Rural South Central Indiana

        I really like your article. It makes me think of a similar picture I have of myself on a morning when I woke up with an impressive plume! Maybe we should start a club! :)


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