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What Prevents Us From Loving?

Audrey's desire to help others understand human behavior led her to study psychology. Here, she lends a hand on dealing with clutter.

im-falling-a-poem-of-love

The #1 Reason We Avoid Loving

Trust is one reason we avoid relationships, however, the biggest reason is fear.

Fear prevents us from both loving and being loved. Some of our biggest fears include:

The fear of:

  • Rejection
  • Being controlled
  • Punished
  • Misunderstood
  • Lack of communication
  • Financial Issues
  • Responsibility
  • Loyalty (on both parties)
  • Remaining Faithful
  • Not being good enough
  • Being accepted
  • Being changed
  • Losing our sense of self
  • Being judged unfairly
  • Getting hurt
  • Being lied to
  • Trust

Author Stephan R. Covey wisely quotes, "Nothing destroys trust faster than making and breaking a promise. Conversely, nothing builds and strengthens trust more than keeping a promise you make."

Learning to Love is an Ongoing Process

Is it possible to learn to love? Only with practice and plenty of it. And along with working consistently on how to master love, it's important to have at least a little knowledge of how human beings operate.

Learning to love is an on-going process. Patience, forgiveness, and kindness are basic to loving. Another thing to remember is action. Walk your talk. Show your love each day, throughout the day, during the good times as well as the bad.

See through the eyes of love. Open your heart and express your love without fear.

Let's take a look at the most important element for learning to accept love, as well as give love.

Love is Kind

This image is imprinted on my armoire.  A gentle reminder and daily guide.

This image is imprinted on my armoire. A gentle reminder and daily guide.

Learning to Love Yourself - The Greatest Gift of All

Learning to love ourselves seems to be more difficult than to love others. Many of us justify a limited view of who we are. We may think it's selfish to nurture ourselves. We often hesitate to say no to a request or demand.

In order to love others, we must first love ourselves. If we don't have a healthy respect for who we are. and if we don't learn to accept ourselves, faults and all, we'll never be able to properly love others. We can't give away what we don't have.

But, in order to love, we must support our own happiness. This is how we grow our own hearts and nourish the ability to love.

The root for love is compassion. Kindness and patience for others are also necessary elements.

Cultivate a garden inside by accepting who you are and learn to love and heal yourself. Begin thinking about all the things you do right instead of what you may do wrong. Start feeling good about yourself right now. Make sure you're transmitting good messages about yourself. Remember that what you send out always comes back to you.

Instead of seeking approval from others, remind yourself that you are a miracle. Affirmations spoken aloud are powerful tools to direct you on the right path to self-love:

Balance Your Life

Life is about balance. Be kind but don't let people abuse you. Trust, but don't be deceived. Be content but never stop improving yourself.

Zig Ziglar

Allow the Greatest Love of All to Happen to You

Six Powerful Affirmations for Focusing on a Positive You

The following affirmations will help you in learning to love yourself. They can be done while walking, meditating, resting or even during driving. You may feel a bit uncomfortable at first, because you may feel a lack of sincerity, but repeat these words often, regardless.The result will be a deep acceptance of who you really are.

  1. I love myself unconditionally.
  2. I am happy just being me.
  3. My body is healthy; my mind is brilliant; my soul is tranquil.
  4. I acknowledge my own self-worth; my confidence is soaring.
  5. I am a powerhouse; I am indestructible.
  6. I am love.

Experiment with creating your own affirmations. Every word you think or speak is an affirmation.

A Video For Powerful Affirmations

6 Helpful Tips For Mastering Love

  • Mastering love requires complete integrity and honesty. There is no place for lying. It will never bring peace of mind. Be impeccable with your word.
  • Develop your listening skills. You cannot be understanding until you see what they see Avoid interruptions and the need to give advice.
  • Keep your ego out of your perception to see things clearly. Avoid being too quick to judge.
  • Develop an appreciation and love for YOU. Until you truly love yourself it's difficult, if not impossible, to love another. This implies the act of forgiveness, including yourself.
  • Think before you speak. This is seasoned advice which still holds true. It's difficult to "take back" a hurtful word. Just take a second or two to evaluate how your words will sound to someone else.
  • Express your feelings. People aren't mind-readers. You have a voice, so use it.

I Loved Him In Silence

I’m Falling…

Slowly… excitement grabs my heart, claiming my desire for him

Captivated by his smile, decorated with Sean Connery dimples

Full beckoning lips

I wonder how they would feel coming home to mine

I’m Falling…

He speaks, I hear a symphony

More please, more

My imagination speaks,

How would it feel to touch his fingers

The very same fingers that strum his guitar

I’m Falling…

His eyes call to me

With promises that cannot be

Two hearts unite but never take flight

Hidden words never spoken

Shattered images

im-falling-a-poem-of-love

I’m Falling…

He is King Arthur and Sir Lancelot, “with virtue to spare”

His head may be bare where once there was hair

It matters not

It is a most beautiful crown

I am waiting to become Guinevere

Take me away

To Camelot

If Ever I Would Leave You - Musical Camelot

I’m falling…into sleep.

Deeper, deeper

His arms wrapped around me

I am bathed in his warmth

Like a bed of roses basking in the sun

I am complete.

Still, I am alone.

In Conclusion - My Own Thoughts About Love

I believe that love surrounds us. It cradles and soothes us when we need it the most. We can find love as we look up. Gaze at the sky and it's vastness and feel the love pouring down on you.

Life itself is full of love if we are open to it. We find it in nature, the pride of mother earth. We hear it in the laughter of children. Our animal friends are always ready to greet us with unconditional love. The song of a bird reminds us of how valuable we are. A beautiful symphony fills every pore of our being with love.

The greatest love of all is only a heartbeat away. It comes from within. We carry it with us every single minute of every passing day. Nurture and care for this love. Share it freely.

The more we give away to others and to every living thing on the planet, the more love we shall receive.

If fear is the culprit that prevents you from loving, you are allowing fear to rob you from the greatest experience and feeling life has to offer. Begin now to ignite your spark - your inner pilot light.

You deserve to love and be loved. You are love.

References

https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/03/31/how-to-love-thich-nhat-hanh/

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-carmen-harra/affirmations_b_3527028.html

© 2011 Audrey Hunt

Comments

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on December 01, 2011:

Dear Jackie - I loved reading your comments. Really great! And fyi - I wrote a 3 part hub on Frank Sinatra. :) I am so darn happy to have found you here on hubpages. Cheers.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on November 26, 2011:

Oh, I am so happy to see you here Peg! It's been a long time since I've had a visitor. Thank you for making my day!!!

Peg Cole from North Dallas, Texas on November 26, 2011:

Absolutely love the song from Camelot - brings back so many lovely memories. And your poem - so rich with imagery and sweetness. The pics were perfect. Lovely!

Jackie Lynnley from the beautiful south on July 20, 2011:

Great poem and you know Robert was a questionable experience for me. My mom loved him and so I saw and heard him a lot but if I liked him I couldn't tell any of my friends, lol. But you know my husband nor I cared for Frank Sinatra until s few years before his death. Now I have so much fun using people I never knew or loved and most probably not even living, music stretches far and wide the older I get.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on April 15, 2011:

Kim - So true. When we are creating how we feel about a certain someone, we tend to think its just us, having those feelings. I'm going to go check out your hub on the 61 yr old Rock Star. Can't wait to read your hub. Thanks Kim. :)vocalcoach

Little Kim from Any town U.S.A. on April 03, 2011:

Beautiful! Funny how we all share the same desires for someone. Though it may never happen. "How would it feel to touch his fingers,the very same fingers that strum his guitar" I can relate to this.. a certain 61 year old Rock Star that I have written about!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on March 31, 2011:

Genna - You are one of my top favorites as a writer...your evaluation of my poem gives me a big smile!

Thank you, Genna. :)vocalclach

Genna East from Massachusetts, USA on March 30, 2011:

The poetic words, photography and music blend together beautifully. Well done.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on March 03, 2011:

Support Med. Hahahaha! Water won't help. Hahahaha. A cold shower, maybe. :) You are totally wonderful. Looking forward to another visit from you!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on February 28, 2011:

RealHousewife - Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou! :)

Support Med. from Michigan on February 27, 2011:

'Captivated by his smile, decorated with Sean Connery dimples

Full beckoning lips

I wonder how they would feel coming home to mine"

Now, now vocalcoach, you have gotten somethin' started here. Sean Connery is oh so fine and handsome and goodlooking no matter how much he ages.

Awesome poem, very emotionally exciting!! I need a drink of water now. v/r

Kelly Umphenour from St. Louis, MO on February 23, 2011:

Amazing - amazing - amazing.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on February 21, 2011:

writinginalaska - Now I can hardley wait to read "The Siren Song" which I will do right now! And I think it is YOU who are "truly amazing". Thank you...I'm off to read your poem now!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on February 17, 2011:

Oh, WillStarr, you give me such a smile. Thanks for "lighting up my life"!

writinginalaska from southeast Alaska on February 17, 2011:

Vocal, it is truly amazing how much this piece reminds me of my The Siren Song, same mindset, very similar flow, i love it. I was totally swept away again. Great job! i think i like yours better than mine ;)

WillStarr from Phoenix, Arizona on February 17, 2011:

Well done!

I'll be back for more.

Voted up, beautiful, and awesome!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on February 16, 2011:

Green Lotus - I'm not always in a romantic mood, but I certainly was when I wrote this. :) I so much appreciate your lovely words. You always inspire me and have since the first hub I wrote - 8 months ago. Thank you GL for being you!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on February 16, 2011:

Dear Prasetio - I dream of spreading love to the whole world, as I know others do. You spread love to everyone and that is the greatest gift of all. Thank you, dearest friend. May your heart and life be filled with ecstacy!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on February 15, 2011:

acaetnna - Makes me happy to know you enjoyed my hub. Ah - the wonderous feeling of falling in love. It's the best! And so are you. Thank you acaetnna and blessings to you!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on February 06, 2011:

Astra - I very much want you to know that I appreciate your kind words about my poem. And I just love trees, so very much. Bless you in all you do and a big thanks!

Cathy Nerujen from Edge of Reality and Known Space on February 01, 2011:

Love can be so inspiring. I'm glad I found this, Audrey. Great poem, and the tree image is lovely too. I love reading quality poetry.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on January 31, 2011:

Doug Turner Jr - Thank you for your feedback on my poem. It means so much to me. I value your comments. Have a lovely day! :)

Hillary from Atlanta, GA on January 30, 2011:

What lovely imagery! Beautiful.

acaetnna from Guildford on January 30, 2011:

This is so lovely, really romantic and I just love it. The perfect utube to accompany this too, one of my Mum's favourite songs.Voting up and pressing your tabs.

prasetio30 from malang-indonesia on January 29, 2011:

I am falling but landing in the land of love. That's your poem. This poem really touch my heart. Thanks for post stunning pictures, including a great video. I hope your "love message" would spread to the entire world. Good work, my friend. Have a nice day!

Prasetio

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on January 28, 2011:

Healing Touch - Yes, I miss it as well. :) So very nice to see you here. Please drop by again very soon. Thank you for your comment. Have a wonderful day.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on January 27, 2011:

saddlerider - well, you found me out. Oh, yes, I am indeed a romanticist. In every sense of the word. And it feels so "freeing" to let it all out on paper. I have a suspicion that you are, as well. (takes one to know one) :) I love your comments saddlerider. Blessings to you, dear man.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on January 27, 2011:

CMCastro - Wow! Now that is a great comment. :) Be careful - with encouragement like this, I just may write another poem. Really, 'tho, I so appreciate this. Thank you my friend and many blessings of love to you!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on January 27, 2011:

Truckstop Sally - How wonderful that you were able to see him in person. I know you will never forget the experience of being right there with Mr. Goulet. Very glad to see you. Thanks for commenting!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on January 26, 2011:

sofs - How kind of you to leave me such a nice comment. I am please that you read it. My best to you! :)

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on January 26, 2011:

Hello, hello - I am very glad that you liked my poem. I apprecrate your feedback as you are a wise lady. :)

Laura Arne from Minnetonka, MN on January 26, 2011:

I love the poem,music and pictures. Great job. You made me miss love.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on January 26, 2011:

Cheri - Well...uh....mmmm....gosh....gee....shucks, now why would you be thinking that? :)

Thank you, my dear and precious Cheri. Love you, my friend.

Cheri Schultz from Midwest on January 25, 2011:

Audrey: My darlin' - I am thinking you maybe writing about a secret admirer?? How eloquently and beautifully written. Love and peace to you my wonderful friend!!

Doug Turner Jr. on January 24, 2011:

Fun stuff. Lighthearted. You get your point across without being too heavy-handed. And it seems as though everyone loves the Connery reference. Well done. Cheers.

Truckstop Sally on January 23, 2011:

Thanks for a beautiful hub. I saw Goulet in concert when I was 13 or so. Quite a presence.

Christina M. Castro from Baltimore,MD USA on January 23, 2011:

If they gave out an academy award for hubs for the most elegantly written hub, you would Receive it! Bravo!

saddlerider1 on January 23, 2011:

Oh what a romanticist you are, how lovely. Yes Sean Connery has cornered the market on his famous dimples. He is most definitely a man's man and I have admired him as such as well as a wonderfully talented actor. Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem, it stirred my heart and passions for romance. Hugs

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on January 23, 2011:

rx42 - Well, there is certainly enough here to go around! :) And, may I say, you've got style rx42. What else do we have in common? I will just have to go to one of your hubs, check your profile and find out. Thanks for coming by. :)

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on January 23, 2011:

Micky - Well, I haven't yet, but I always have my dreams right? It's kind of puzzling - what attracts one person physically to another. It isn't just the dimples, it's what surrounds them - the profound words, high character, confidence and on and on. I'm just a hopeless romantic, Micky! Great to see you. :)

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on January 23, 2011:

dallas93444 - Wow - these kinds of comments really inspire me. Thank you again and again dallas! :_)

rx4u on January 23, 2011:

Vocalcoach- Wow! King Arthur, Sir Lancelot ..AND...Sean Connery dimples? Move over girlfriend, I think I'm falling too! Ha! Great post, great imagery and great photos! Voted up indeed! :)

Dallas W Thompson from Bakersfield, CA on January 23, 2011:

Great work!

More...

Flag up and awesome!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on January 23, 2011:

nighthag - It was you and your magnificent hub on " using your writing prompts" hub which inspired me to write this. You suggested a list of words, one of them being "I'm falling" with a compelling graphic. I immediately began working on your writing exercises and this poem is a result of following your instruction. Could it be, that you are my muse? Is it ok for a muse to be of the same gender? :) Thank you so much for the gift you have given to me. You have unlocked a door which has been closed until now.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on January 23, 2011:

breakfastpop - If a man with "Sean Connery" dimples comes to the breakfast table looking for Guinevere, will you let me know? :) Thanks Pop!

breakfastpop on January 23, 2011:

How lovely. Voted up and "beautiful".

Micky Dee on January 23, 2011:

"Captivated by his smile, decorated with Sean Connery dimples" - I hope you get Sean Connery dimples!

Sophie on January 23, 2011:

Charming..aged love like wine... enjoyed it!!

Hello, hello, from London, UK on January 23, 2011:

Absolutely beautiful. Thank you for giving the pleasure or reading it.

K.A.E Grove from Australia on January 22, 2011:

This was breathtaking, a beautiful piece full of emotion, loved every word

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on January 22, 2011:

carrie - I am delighted that you enjoyed my poem and the graphics. You always bring a smile to me when I see that you have dropped by. Thanyou. :)

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on January 22, 2011:

drbj - You have found me out. Dimples delight me :)

Most thankful to you for your comments. You are such a jewel!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Pahrump NV on January 22, 2011:

Oh, thank you Hmrjmr1! Do you have dimples?? :)

Hmrjmr1 from Georgia, USA on January 22, 2011:

Well Done Lass!

drbj and sherry from south Florida on January 22, 2011:

"Sean Connery dimples," Audrey? You-re a goner, girl! Lovely, image-rich poetry. In addition to the graphics.

carrie450 from Winnipeg, Canada on January 22, 2011:

Beautiful poetry vocalcoach along with the graphics.

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