What Prevents Us From Loving?

Updated on February 17, 2018
vocalcoach profile image

Audrey's burning desire to help others to respect and understand themselves led her to the study of psychology at UCLA.

Source

The #1 Reason We Avoid Loving

Trust is one reason we avoid relationships, however, the biggest reason is fear.

Fear prevents us from both loving and being loved. Some of our biggest fears include:

The fear of:

  • Rejection
  • Being controlled
  • Punished
  • Misunderstood
  • Lack of communication
  • Financial Issues
  • Responsibility
  • Loyalty (on both parties)
  • Remaining Faithful
  • Not being good enough
  • Being accepted
  • Being changed
  • Losing our sense of self
  • Being judged unfairly

Author Stephan R. Covey wisely quotes, "Nothing destroys trust faster than making and breaking a promise. Conversely, nothing builds and strengthens trust more than keeping a promise you make."

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.

Ambrose Redmoon

Learning to Love is an Ongoing Process

Is it possible to learn to love? Only with practice and plenty of it. And along with working consistently on how to master love, it's important to have at least a little knowledge of how human beings operate.

Learning to love is an on-going process. Patience, forgiveness, and kindness are basic to loving. Another thing to remember is action. Walk your talk. Show your love each day, throughout the day, during the good times as well as the bad.

Let's take a look at the most important element for learning to accept love, as well as give love.

Love is Kind

This image is imprinted on my armoire.  A gentle reminder and daily guide.
This image is imprinted on my armoire. A gentle reminder and daily guide. | Source

Learning to Love Yourself - The Greatest Gift of All

Learning to love ourselves seems to be more difficult than to love others. We may think it's selfish to nurture ourselves. We often hesitate to say no to a request or demand.

But, in order to love, we must support our own happiness. This is how we grow our own hearts and nourish the ability to love.

The root for love is compassion. Kindness and patience for others are also necessary elements.

Cultivate a garden inside by accepting who you are and learn to love and heal yourself.

Instead of seeking approval from others, remind yourself that you are a miracle. Affirmations spoken aloud are powerful tools to direct you on the right path to self-love:

Allow the Greatest Love of All to Happen to You

Six Powerful Affirmations for Focusing on a Positive You

The following affirmations will help you in learning to love yourself. They can be done while walking, meditating, resting or even during driving. You may feel a bit uncomfortable at first, because you may feel a lack of sincerity, but repeat these words often, regardless.The result will be a deep acceptance of who you really are.

  1. I love myself unconditionally.
  2. I am happy just being me.
  3. My body is healthy; my mind is brilliant; my soul is tranquil.
  4. I acknowledge my own self-worth; my confidence is soaring.
  5. I am a powerhouse; I am indestructible.
  6. I am love.

Experiment with creating your own affirmations. Every word you think or speak is an affirmation.

A Video For Powerful Affirmations

6 Helpful Tips For Mastering Love

  • Mastering love requires complete integrity and honesty. There is no place for lying. It will never bring peace of mind. Be impeccable with your word.
  • Develop your listening skills. You cannot be understanding until you see what they see Avoid interruptions and the need to give advice.
  • Keep your ego out of your perception to see things clearly. Avoid being to quick to judge.
  • Develop an appreciation and love for YOU. Until you truly love yourself it's difficult, if not impossible, to love another. This implies the act of forgiveness, including yourself.
  • Think before you speak. This is seasoned advice which still holds true. It's difficult to "take back" a hurtful word. Just take a second or two to evaluate how your words will sound to someone else.

I Loved Him In Silence

I’m Falling…

Slowly… excitement grabs my heart, claiming my desire for him

Captivated by his smile, decorated with Sean Connery dimples

Full beckoning lips

I wonder how they would feel coming home to mine

I’m Falling…

He speaks, I hear a symphony

More please, more

My imagination speaks,

How would it feel to touch his fingers

The very same fingers that strum his guitar

I’m Falling…

His eyes call to me

With promises that cannot be

Two hearts unite but never take flight

Hidden words never spoken

Shattered images

Source

I’m Falling…

He is King Arthur and Sir Lancelot, “with virtue to spare”

His head may be bare where once there was hair

It matters not

It is a most beautiful crown

I am waiting to become Guinevere

Take me away

To Camelot

If Ever I Would Leave You - Musical Camelot

I’m falling…into sleep.

Deeper, deeper

His arms wrapped around me

I am bathed in his warmth

Like a bed of roses basking in the sun

I am complete.

Still, I am alone.

In Conclusion - My Own Thoughts About Love

I believe that love surrounds us. It cradles and soothes us when we need it the most. We can find love as we look up. Gaze at the sky and it's vastness and feel love pouring down on you.

Life itself is full of love if we are open to it. We find it in nature, the pride of mother earth. We hear it in the laughter of children. Our animal friends are always ready to greet us with unconditional love. The song of a bird reminds us of how valuable we are. A beautiful symphony fills every pore of our being with love.

The greatest love of all is only a heart beat away. It comes from within. We carry it with us every single minute of every passing day. Nurture and care for this love. Share it freely.

The more we give away to others and to every living thing on the planet, the more love we shall receive.

If fear is the culprit that prevents you from loving, you are allowing fear to rob you from the greatest experience and feeling life has to offer.

You deserve to love and be loved. You are love.

Do You Consider Yourself A Master Of Love?

See results

Questions & Answers

    © 2011 Audrey Hunt

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      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        6 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        Dear Jackie - I loved reading your comments. Really great! And fyi - I wrote a 3 part hub on Frank Sinatra. :) I am so darn happy to have found you here on hubpages. Cheers.

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        6 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        Oh, I am so happy to see you here Peg! It's been a long time since I've had a visitor. Thank you for making my day!!!

      • PegCole17 profile image

        Peg Cole 

        6 years ago from Dallas, Texas

        Absolutely love the song from Camelot - brings back so many lovely memories. And your poem - so rich with imagery and sweetness. The pics were perfect. Lovely!

      • Jackie Lynnley profile image

        Jackie Lynnley 

        7 years ago from The Beautiful South

        Great poem and you know Robert was a questionable experience for me. My mom loved him and so I saw and heard him a lot but if I liked him I couldn't tell any of my friends, lol. But you know my husband nor I cared for Frank Sinatra until s few years before his death. Now I have so much fun using people I never knew or loved and most probably not even living, music stretches far and wide the older I get.

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        Kim - So true. When we are creating how we feel about a certain someone, we tend to think its just us, having those feelings. I'm going to go check out your hub on the 61 yr old Rock Star. Can't wait to read your hub. Thanks Kim. :)vocalcoach

      • Little Kim profile image

        Little Kim 

        7 years ago from Any town U.S.A.

        Beautiful! Funny how we all share the same desires for someone. Though it may never happen. "How would it feel to touch his fingers,the very same fingers that strum his guitar" I can relate to this.. a certain 61 year old Rock Star that I have written about!

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        Genna - You are one of my top favorites as a writer...your evaluation of my poem gives me a big smile!

        Thank you, Genna. :)vocalclach

      • Genna East profile image

        Genna East 

        7 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

        The poetic words, photography and music blend together beautifully. Well done.

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        Support Med. Hahahaha! Water won't help. Hahahaha. A cold shower, maybe. :) You are totally wonderful. Looking forward to another visit from you!

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        RealHousewife - Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou! :)

      • Support Med. profile image

        Support Med. 

        7 years ago from Michigan

        'Captivated by his smile, decorated with Sean Connery dimples

        Full beckoning lips

        I wonder how they would feel coming home to mine"

        Now, now vocalcoach, you have gotten somethin' started here. Sean Connery is oh so fine and handsome and goodlooking no matter how much he ages.

        Awesome poem, very emotionally exciting!! I need a drink of water now. v/r

      • RealHousewife profile image

        Kelly Umphenour 

        7 years ago from St. Louis, MO

        Amazing - amazing - amazing.

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        writinginalaska - Now I can hardley wait to read "The Siren Song" which I will do right now! And I think it is YOU who are "truly amazing". Thank you...I'm off to read your poem now!

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        Oh, WillStarr, you give me such a smile. Thanks for "lighting up my life"!

      • writinginalaska profile image

        writinginalaska 

        7 years ago from southeast Alaska

        Vocal, it is truly amazing how much this piece reminds me of my The Siren Song, same mindset, very similar flow, i love it. I was totally swept away again. Great job! i think i like yours better than mine ;)

      • WillStarr profile image

        WillStarr 

        7 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

        Well done!

        I'll be back for more.

        Voted up, beautiful, and awesome!

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        Green Lotus - I'm not always in a romantic mood, but I certainly was when I wrote this. :) I so much appreciate your lovely words. You always inspire me and have since the first hub I wrote - 8 months ago. Thank you GL for being you!

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        Dear Prasetio - I dream of spreading love to the whole world, as I know others do. You spread love to everyone and that is the greatest gift of all. Thank you, dearest friend. May your heart and life be filled with ecstacy!

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        acaetnna - Makes me happy to know you enjoyed my hub. Ah - the wonderous feeling of falling in love. It's the best! And so are you. Thank you acaetnna and blessings to you!

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        Astra - I very much want you to know that I appreciate your kind words about my poem. And I just love trees, so very much. Bless you in all you do and a big thanks!

      • Astra Nomik profile image

        Cathy Nerujen 

        7 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

        Love can be so inspiring. I'm glad I found this, Audrey. Great poem, and the tree image is lovely too. I love reading quality poetry.

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        Doug Turner Jr - Thank you for your feedback on my poem. It means so much to me. I value your comments. Have a lovely day! :)

      • Green Lotus profile image

        Hillary 

        7 years ago from Atlanta, GA

        What lovely imagery! Beautiful.

      • acaetnna profile image

        acaetnna 

        7 years ago from Guildford

        This is so lovely, really romantic and I just love it. The perfect utube to accompany this too, one of my Mum's favourite songs.Voting up and pressing your tabs.

      • prasetio30 profile image

        prasetio30 

        7 years ago from malang-indonesia

        I am falling but landing in the land of love. That's your poem. This poem really touch my heart. Thanks for post stunning pictures, including a great video. I hope your "love message" would spread to the entire world. Good work, my friend. Have a nice day!

        Prasetio

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        Healing Touch - Yes, I miss it as well. :) So very nice to see you here. Please drop by again very soon. Thank you for your comment. Have a wonderful day.

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        saddlerider - well, you found me out. Oh, yes, I am indeed a romanticist. In every sense of the word. And it feels so "freeing" to let it all out on paper. I have a suspicion that you are, as well. (takes one to know one) :) I love your comments saddlerider. Blessings to you, dear man.

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        CMCastro - Wow! Now that is a great comment. :) Be careful - with encouragement like this, I just may write another poem. Really, 'tho, I so appreciate this. Thank you my friend and many blessings of love to you!

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        Truckstop Sally - How wonderful that you were able to see him in person. I know you will never forget the experience of being right there with Mr. Goulet. Very glad to see you. Thanks for commenting!

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        sofs - How kind of you to leave me such a nice comment. I am please that you read it. My best to you! :)

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        Hello, hello - I am very glad that you liked my poem. I apprecrate your feedback as you are a wise lady. :)

      • Healing Touch profile image

        Laura Arne 

        7 years ago from Minnetonka, MN

        I love the poem,music and pictures. Great job. You made me miss love.

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        Cheri - Well...uh....mmmm....gosh....gee....shucks, now why would you be thinking that? :)

        Thank you, my dear and precious Cheri. Love you, my friend.

      • Cheri Schultz profile image

        Cheri Schultz 

        7 years ago from Midwest

        Audrey: My darlin' - I am thinking you maybe writing about a secret admirer?? How eloquently and beautifully written. Love and peace to you my wonderful friend!!

      • profile image

        Doug Turner Jr. 

        7 years ago

        Fun stuff. Lighthearted. You get your point across without being too heavy-handed. And it seems as though everyone loves the Connery reference. Well done. Cheers.

      • Truckstop Sally profile image

        Truckstop Sally 

        7 years ago

        Thanks for a beautiful hub. I saw Goulet in concert when I was 13 or so. Quite a presence.

      • CMCastro profile image

        Christina M. Castro 

        7 years ago from Baltimore,MD USA

        If they gave out an academy award for hubs for the most elegantly written hub, you would Receive it! Bravo!

      • saddlerider1 profile image

        saddlerider1 

        7 years ago

        Oh what a romanticist you are, how lovely. Yes Sean Connery has cornered the market on his famous dimples. He is most definitely a man's man and I have admired him as such as well as a wonderfully talented actor. Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem, it stirred my heart and passions for romance. Hugs

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        rx42 - Well, there is certainly enough here to go around! :) And, may I say, you've got style rx42. What else do we have in common? I will just have to go to one of your hubs, check your profile and find out. Thanks for coming by. :)

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        Micky - Well, I haven't yet, but I always have my dreams right? It's kind of puzzling - what attracts one person physically to another. It isn't just the dimples, it's what surrounds them - the profound words, high character, confidence and on and on. I'm just a hopeless romantic, Micky! Great to see you. :)

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        dallas93444 - Wow - these kinds of comments really inspire me. Thank you again and again dallas! :_)

      • profile image

        rx4u 

        7 years ago

        Vocalcoach- Wow! King Arthur, Sir Lancelot ..AND...Sean Connery dimples? Move over girlfriend, I think I'm falling too! Ha! Great post, great imagery and great photos! Voted up indeed! :)

      • dallas93444 profile image

        Dallas W Thompson 

        7 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

        Great work!

        More...

        Flag up and awesome!

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        nighthag - It was you and your magnificent hub on " using your writing prompts" hub which inspired me to write this. You suggested a list of words, one of them being "I'm falling" with a compelling graphic. I immediately began working on your writing exercises and this poem is a result of following your instruction. Could it be, that you are my muse? Is it ok for a muse to be of the same gender? :) Thank you so much for the gift you have given to me. You have unlocked a door which has been closed until now.

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        breakfastpop - If a man with "Sean Connery" dimples comes to the breakfast table looking for Guinevere, will you let me know? :) Thanks Pop!

      • breakfastpop profile image

        breakfastpop 

        7 years ago

        How lovely. Voted up and "beautiful".

      • Micky Dee profile image

        Micky Dee 

        7 years ago

        "Captivated by his smile, decorated with Sean Connery dimples" - I hope you get Sean Connery dimples!

      • sofs profile image

        sofs 

        7 years ago

        Charming..aged love like wine... enjoyed it!!

      • Hello, hello, profile image

        Hello, hello, 

        7 years ago from London, UK

        Absolutely beautiful. Thank you for giving the pleasure or reading it.

      • nighthag profile image

        K.A.E Grove 

        7 years ago from Australia

        This was breathtaking, a beautiful piece full of emotion, loved every word

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        carrie - I am delighted that you enjoyed my poem and the graphics. You always bring a smile to me when I see that you have dropped by. Thanyou. :)

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        drbj - You have found me out. Dimples delight me :)

        Most thankful to you for your comments. You are such a jewel!

      • vocalcoach profile imageAUTHOR

        Audrey Hunt 

        7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        Oh, thank you Hmrjmr1! Do you have dimples?? :)

      • Hmrjmr1 profile image

        Hmrjmr1 

        7 years ago from Georgia, USA

        Well Done Lass!

      • drbj profile image

        drbj and sherry 

        7 years ago from south Florida

        "Sean Connery dimples," Audrey? You-re a goner, girl! Lovely, image-rich poetry. In addition to the graphics.

      • carrie450 profile image

        carrie450 

        7 years ago from Winnipeg, Canada

        Beautiful poetry vocalcoach along with the graphics.

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