I am one of those who takes her mistakes very seriously and takes forever to move on. A single mistake would become my nightmare and I would regret my action over time. Typical encouragement from people would instantly make me feel better at the moment- "It is not your fault", "Just be like that sometimes", "Time would solve everything for you", and maybe an "I'm so glad I'm not in your position, haha" when it is just one of those unfortunate days- but the true pain returns regardless. 'What have I done?'. 'Why did I forget this?'. 'Why did I overreact?'. Voices quadruple my stress level and I end up being distracted by those thoughts the whole day, wasting my time.
The biggest reason why I struggled with these aspects was very simple- Judgments. Afraid to hear negative aspects about myself from others, trying the best to earn their satisfaction, even hurting myself for others, leading to a sense of self-consciousness. Words of frustration and anger from their mouths would give me serious anxiety; my brain would strive to interpret their simple actions or gestures, mostly negative, which would determine my mood for the day. Some of you might agree with me and have similar situations as I did.
The solution that got me out of this "seemed to be endless" self-consciousness was God. Now, let me pause a moment. You may not be a believer, and that is totally an okay thing. I am not pushing you to become a Christian, but I want to help you get through your consciousness by utilizing my experience with God as one of the examples. I found God in my life when I was studying abroad alone in my freshman year of high school, away from my family and living with a host family. Alternation in the pattern of my life within loneliness and isolation has led me to rely on God very strongly. Long story short, God has taught me how to deal with consciousness and these secret formulas are what I am going to share you right at this moment. These formulas will require you to change your mindset accordingly, and by doing so, would change your perspective of yourself and the world.
The first thing is that everyone is a human being. What I mean by that is everyone is created equal and only God is superior to us. Other people are the same human beings like you! Why would you care about their thoughts about you so seriously if they have no authority over you at all? You might think they have authority over you since they might have a higher status in society but remember, God only has authority over you, and He would not let you be under their control. You are the owner of yourself, not others; Others do not determine your emotions, but you do. So speak up your opinion when it is unfair, question odd theories, and learn by doing so.
The second aspect is that God has a plan for every one of you. This is not a formula that works just by reading it; you really have to think about it and fully shift your mindset to this statement. Whenever you make mistakes, don't just blame yourself, but rather embrace your mistakes as God's plan. God already knew that you would make those mistakes and He planned ahead for you to make those mistakes. God knew everything you would do before you even thought about it. Thus, think this over and over whenever you are regretting your action, and further, think about why God would have planned for you to make the mistakes. He would have wanted to teach you a significant lesson, and wanted you to learn from your mistakes. He would have wanted to give you a chance to change your perspective and rethink your prior decision that goes against God's plan for you. After all, a mistake is a good aspect that provides growth and alternation in your life, not a shame. Moreover, everyone makes mistakes because no one is perfect in this world, and of course, God plans them.
Once you embrace and fully understand these aspects into your mindset, you would experience a significant change in your perspective viewing yourself. You are an independent and strong individual in God.
© 2019 Hannah