Sondra Rochelle believes that every human being deserves the right to live up to his or her full potential.
The biggest problem in today’s world is that people spend far too much time feeding their egos and not nearly enough time feeding their souls.
They do this without thinking and without giving any consideration to the damage it does to them as well as the other people in their lives.
The truth is that those who live mostly on ego are the very people who constantly seek happiness but never find it because they are always looking for it in the wrong places.
What is Ego?
Ego has been defined as a person’s sense of self-importance.
Those who view it as their main source of self allow it to overcome their lives and wreak havoc with them.
Usually people who let this happen are those who suffer from a lack of self-esteem. They constantly do things they think will improve their image, but they don’t realize that using ego to this end is only superficial and actually means very little.
Many times this type of behavior makes people think less of them and actually depresses rather than elates them.
It is common for egotistical people to go to expensive restaurants with friends and insist on paying for everybody.
At the moment, this makes them feel powerful and important. They think they are better than those they treated because they are showing that they have more wealth and are generous with it.
The sad truth is that many who do this sort of thing really cannot afford what they’ve done and later, in the privacy of their homes, kick themselves for having foolishly wasted so much money.
Worse yet, the recipients of their generosity often think of them as fools and actually lose respect for them. They consider spendthrifts like this to be showoffs and don’t much care for this type of behavior.
As long as the egotist keeps paying, they’ll continue to allow him to do so, but the moment he stops, they disappear.
How Egotists Hurt Themselves and Others
In the above example, the egotist has only hurt himself, but there are many situations where his actions bring harm to others.
- The boss who lords it over his employees and is constantly threatening to fire them creates a huge deal of stress for them. This can lead to all sorts of mental and physical problems for them.
- The man or woman who leads someone who cares about them on for years giving them hope that there will one day be a marriage, well knowing that he or she has no intention of marrying can literally ruin someone’s life.
- The wealthy parent who constantly lets children know that they had better be attentive or they’ll be “cut out of the will” creates constant upset for their offspring and keeps them from living the types of lives they really would like to have.
These issues occur because a person uses people to build up his ego and make him feel loved and important.
The truth is that there is neither love nor respect in these situations, which is why the egotist never really finds a true sense of happiness.
Happiness Is Not a Destination
Human beings always seek happiness. They treat it as though it is a destination, but that is wrong thinking.
Happiness is something that comes naturally, but only to people whose values allow it to appear.
It isn’t something you can force or buy, but rather something you create by learning how to feed your soul rather than your ego.
Your soul is the heart of your “self”. If you keep it healthy by living your life in worthwhile ways, you’ll find happiness in just about everything you do.
Even if you have been living on ego, you can change, but doing this will not be easy.
Feeding Your Soul
The soul has a voracious appetite. It yearns always to be fulfilled and is constantly opening itself to those who are willing to feed it in appropriate ways.
There are many ways to do this. For example, among other things you can
- learn to appreciate the wonders nature,
- be thankful every day for what and who you have in your life,
- accept yourself as the beautiful creature that you are and
- eliminate the negatives in your life.
These and similar behaviors bring light into your life and help to eliminate the darkness that may surround it.
So many of us take nature for granted, yet it is one of the most wondrous things in our lives.
It has order, purpose and a kind of beauty that cannot be duplicated anywhere.
Years ago I was rushing to get to a class. On my way into the building, I heard a bird singing its little heart out. It stopped me dead in my tracks.
We were just on the verge of Spring, and this bird was welcoming it, regardless of who was listening (and few were).
That day I realized how important it is to stop and really pay attention to all that Mother Nature gives us. It also made me realize how important it is to do what we can to protect this treasure.
If we don't we will lose it.
It is common for people to take a moment once each year at Thanksgiving to give thanks for all of the good things we have in life.
What we should be doing is giving thanks every day because it not only feels good to do this, but makes us appreciate how lucky we are, no matter our situations.
If we have a roof over our heads, food to eat, people who love us, enough money to pay our bills and good health, we have everything.
Recognizing this fact is extremely important to our happiness.
I have yet to meet one person who is happy with himself.
People feel they are either too tall, too short, too thin, too fat, too young, too old, too poor, too rich or anything else they can think of to make themselves unhappy.
The truth is that nobody is perfect. Nothing matters except that you accept who you are and are willing to work with what you have.
There are people in the world who have much less, are less healthy or less attractive, but they are happy because they have learned to accept themselves and live the best lives of which they are capable.
You need to do the same!
Eliminate the Negatives
No matter who you are, there will always be negatives in your life. It is up to you to eliminate as many of them as possible because if you don't, they will overtake you and starve the life out of your soul.
- If there are toxic people in your life, avoid them.
- If you don't like the news on TV, turn it off.
- If your job is horrible, quit.
The stress things like this cause will negatively affect you mentally as well as physically, so you cannot allow them to overtake you.
How to Find Happiness
The best way to avoid situations like those mentioned above is to understand that things and false relationships never bring joy.
Things such as a new car, expensive meal or superficial relationship are temporary, but love, trust, respect and understanding are real and are permanent.
These are things that are difficult to find, but are the treasures that make life worth living.
To get them, you have to give them.
You cannot lie, cheat, steal, backstab or undermine other people. You cannot behave as though you are somehow better than they are.
Instead you must show a real interest in them by listening and offering your help when needed.
In short, you feed your soul by letting people know you think they are more important than you are.
This is what you need to do to feed your soul instead of your ego, and this is what will bring you the happiness you seek.
© 2018 Sondra Rochelle