How to Heal the World: Accept and Love Yourself

Updated on September 18, 2019
Amanda Buck profile image

Amanda's greatest passion is encouraging people as they walk the path to inner healing and self-awareness.

This quote hit me like a ton of bricks this week. Not so much that you can’t love someTHING, but that you can’t love someONE until you can accept them. I’m not proud to admit that I struggle in that area. I am sometimes surprised at how hard-hearted I have become. And why? Why can I not love people? It is absolutely because I cannot accept them. But why is it so hard to accept them? I wrestled with this one. Ultimately, it all boils down to that age old… because I do not accept myself. We cannot love others until we first accept and love ourselves.

I don’t know about you, but when I was growing up acceptance had to be earned. To be accepted you had to act a certain way, dress a certain way, behave in accordance with the group. If you didn’t, woe to you! You would be teased, tortured and eaten alive by your peers, or even your own family. I learned at a very young age that there was a formula to being accepted, to being loved, and to surviving in this world. And sometimes, following that formula meant selling my soul. It was not okay to be who I am. It was not safe to be authentic. So I traded my authenticity for survival and to minimize my suffering. I lost who I was. Maybe I never knew.

When I see other’s who are not following the formula, I become critical of them. In part, I am concerned for them. Maybe they don’t know that it is dangerous to act that way, to look that way. I’d better show them that is not acceptable before they encounter someone who will really hurt them. Partly, I feel that it is not fair. I had to sell my soul to be accepted. Why should they be accepted just the way they are?


But… is it really about them? Or is it about me? What if I could accept myself? What if I could go back and pick up the pieces I left behind and be whole? Then could I accept them? Yes! If I didn’t feel so deficient in myself, I wouldn’t be so bothered by what other’s do. The truth is, there is a real hurt, a real pain deep inside that you live with when you don’t love yourself, when you’ve sold out and given up pieces of yourself. That pain needs to heal and you are the only one who can heal it. You are the only one who can accept you for you. Someone else can accept you, but they can’t make YOU accept you.

I am not new to the path of self-discovery. I’ve been working on me for a long, long time. I thought I had overcome the issues of self-acceptance. So this one kinda kicked me in the butt. I did that work, I thought. I know how to give myself grace, how to accept feelings that I cannot change. I’ve dealt with my past. I did all that work and it was hard! But this… this is bigger. This is a deeper work. It’s hard and it hurts. But the reward… the reward of doing the work is so great. Is there a bigger reward than acceptance and love?

I know that in our world today, there is a huge outcry. People are crying out loudly about this very thing. We can no longer survive as fragments. People are crying out for acceptance, for the permission, the ability to be who they were created to be. We have work to do! The world needs us now more than ever! It needs us to remember who we are and why we are here. So we cry for acceptance, but we no longer know who we are. We lost ourselves so long ago….


Some of us struggle quietly, inwardly and some of us struggle outwardly, publically. It is not hard to see people who are struggling to find their authenticity and we hear about acceptance all the time. It is a messy process, finding oneself. It seems our whole country and maybe even the whole world is caught up in it right now. What can you do? How can you do your part to help heal the world? Accept yourself. Then accept others. And you will spark a chain reaction that could heal the whole world! Love is our only hope.

Questions & Answers

    © 2019 Amanda Buck

    Comments

      0 of 8192 characters used
      Post Comment
      • Lorna Lamon profile image

        Lorna Lamon 

        10 days ago

        Such an interesting article and personally I feel that I am a work in progress, however, I will never be perfect. Acceptance of who we are regardless of our flaws is so critical in being able to accept others. Perhaps this is the path to true inner happiness. Thank you for sharing.

      working

      This website uses cookies

      As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, letterpile.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

      For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://letterpile.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

      Show Details
      Necessary
      HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
      LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
      Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
      AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
      Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
      CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
      Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
      Features
      Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
      Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
      Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
      Marketing
      Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
      Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
      Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
      Statistics
      Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
      ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
      ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)