Evie Sparkes is a published novelist, content writer and company director from the UK.
Regret Is A Fruitless Emotion
There is nothing to be done with regret. We can feel it deeply when we've done something we feel we shouldn't have, when we've hurt another person or when we haven't done something we now feel that we ought to have done.
Regret can become lodged in our hearts like a foreign body that over time becomes so ingrained into our soul that it actually feels normal.
We wouldn't even know how to let go of it, if we even thought letting go was an option.
The thing with regret is; there is nothing to be gained from it. It won't change the past and if you dwell on it then it will impede your future.
Never Engage With Regret
Personally, I stopped regretting anything a few years ago. Sure there are things I shouldn't have done and there are situations I got myself into that were detrimental to me and others. I own those things but I don't spend any time thinking about them because that's when regret is at it's most manipulative.
Once you start engaging with regret, it grows and grows and you don't get a whole lot of peace. You start imagining all of the things you could have said or done to stop the regretful thing happening and you wonder how on earth you let it happen. The thing is that most things we regret are way in the past and we regret them so much because we have grown as human beings. You can't compare this you to that you. You will have had so many more life experiences and even thought you may think you are the same, you are not.
How Is Regret So Harmful To Us?
It's harmful because it erodes our confidence, out self-esteem and our general well-being. It becomes the thing that defines us and it isn't.
I used to have a silly little regret. It was huge to me though. Many years ago, I had a little falling out with my Nan. I let a situation with my then fiance get out of control. The falling out lasted all of a day and I apologised as did she. The thing is, my Nan was a little unstable. She didn't think like other people and I suppose she was a little troubled. Her father was an alcoholic and he regularly beat her Mother. She wouldn't have said that this impacted her life, but I'm sure it helped make her into the woman she became.
This was such an insignificant event in reality, but I knew that she felt hurt and I also knew that she wouldn't be able to forget about it. After she died I let it bother me. I was so cross with myself for allowing my then fiance to drag me into something I should have nipped in the bud. I would dream about it and often thought about my behaviour and berated myself for not having more self-control. The thing is, it was just a little tiff but I let it get huge in my mind.
When I started letting regret go, I set that one free first.
When I ran through all of the little regrets I was holding onto I was quite surprised to find there were more than I had realised. I let each one go in turn. It was easier than I thought it would be and I did it by using my little saying 'Does this serve me?'
Letting Regret Go Will Set You Free
It really is true. I hadn't even thought about doing it before. When I started getting interested in The Law of Attraction it was a suggestion I found interesting. I decided to give it a go, because well, what was there to lose? If it didn't work then I hadn't lost a thing.
It did work. On a grand scale actually. I had thought that perhaps I might just get a bit of relief from the exercise but I had no idea that letting them all go would be quite as easy as it turned out to be.
So if you are holding onto regret then think about letting it go and feeling better about yourself. Everything gets better from that day forward!
Evie Sparkes (author) on May 29, 2019:
Same Lorna. It's an emotion that doesn't serve us in any way.
Lorna Lamon on May 29, 2019:
I agree with you on this one Evie - 'Never live with regret' is a mantra of mine.