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Being Happy with People

What can make a person truly happy?

Many of us have the notion that happiness is something hard to achieve. We wait for a kind of magic to strike and make us happy. When this does not happen, we are resentful.

Did you know that simply being happy with people is one secret to happiness? But do you have what it takes to be naturally happy with others?

Nice and Accepting


Being nice is approachable and within means. It is not looking at our own ideals. It is not setting a pace for the rest of the world.

Expect good but not too much. Accepting realities teaches us the ability to come to terms with one's own life as it really is - not as we imagine it ought to be. This is the best recipe for making a success of the little that has been put into one's hands. We can take what is offered by those around us and give at least as much as we receive. These instances can help take us being happy with people.

Happy to Belong

We humans need to belong. It is fundamental to our sense of happiness. Our families, friends, and neighbors are the first communities we are strongly affiliated to. Here, we first develop a sense of camaraderie, which levers a psychological desire to belong to a greater community where we can share common interests.

If we know it's a friend's wedding anniversary today, technology already allows us to send the freshest greetings in a touch of a button. It's less than a minute thought that connects. Even though the belonging intervention seems far and away, its outcomes are consequential and lasting.


In general, we are misinformed about other people's thoughts and often operate from this biased information. We only see others from the outside, yet it's so weird that many of us rush judging our insides by other people's outsides.

Feeling like we don't belong makes us both less motivated and less likely to hang out with people. This is an obstacle we might have been nurturing -- a feeling that pushes us away from the world.

It's a high challenge but we are not supposed to be looking at what's bad in each of us but at what is enlightening and life-giving. Accepting that there are people and they are all within reach already makes us whole. Remember that you and I are not alone. You belong. I belong. We all belong.

Willing to Understand

When we anticipate that anyone will behave according to our expectations - we are deluded. It is no wonder the world is so stressed out. Each person on the planet has his or her own unique experiences. Putting one foot in other people's shoes can help us realize that our delusion is also unique to us.


When plans are being discussed and we put the preference of others before our own, not showing plainly that we hate having our routine disturbed; we are awakening our power to understand. This initiative gives us the courage to offer. We then take part in life's surprises which bring us some of the happiest moments.

Trying to bring everything around to one's point of view and handle them well, soon will gain us a desirable sense of compassion. Would you be willing to take some effort if you know that what you are doing means a greater air of harmony, more satisfying marriages, and friendships?

It brings us a cup of happiness to help others realize the value of being understood. If they do the same, you have made them happy, too.

Ready to Be There

Did you know that a feeling of being there for others boosts our immune system? The reason is it activates the emotions of joy, gratitude, and contentment. Thanks to good deeds, this positive emotion reduces and even kicks out negative attitudes like hostility, malice, and bitterness.


It is most likely to enjoy people if we are prepared to put some of what we possess into a friendship or relationship, regardless of what we get out of it.

Can we do favors readily? We can help ourselves by helping others, and if possible, let's not look for a way out if somebody asks for a helping hand. Selflessly helping people is a powerful way to feel good. We are lucky to have that gift that makes people feel good, as well.

This is our golden opportunity to know more about ourselves and other people. Anything that brings us closer to others tags along with a great sense of joy that we are needed as much as we need them.

Is Not Too Sensitive

If we've been told that we're too sensitive, then we probably are.

Usually, this means that we may be overly emotional and don't feel sufficiently secure. We need to be careful. If we don't guard against these ill feelings, people will regard us as a liability.

Going temperamental has a tendency to allow the poison of hurt or anger to accumulate inside us which eventually will become a raging inferiority complex. This state of mind is a drawback to our relationship with people. It leads to nowhere.

If you wonder what is being happy with people is - Don't Feel Alone ( A Flickr photo)

If you wonder what is being happy with people is - Don't Feel Alone ( A Flickr photo)

It is recommended to turn it around. If we have to disagree with someone, we can say it in a nice way. An effort to adopt circumstances helps take responsibility for one's sensitivity. It reminds us that the person probably means no harm. This way, we will learn to manage our feelings before they get out of control.

But let's not rush to our fences. It would be perfect to have everybody loving us in five minutes. But this just isn't always possible. We have to build gradually. In the end, we will realize that being firm, clear, constructive and patient, are some of the ways to be happy with people anywhere... anytime.

Proceeding with Caution

Conflicts arise. But taking the long view helps subside the heat. Details tend to magnify that molehills become mountain leading to quarrels. It isn't the big disputes that are the danger - but the little squabbles. Watch it, or it becomes a habit. In fact, men are very cautious about this, they hate emotional scenes and will do anything to avoid one. It only pays not to risk a showdown for a trifle, that we may not hear a lot of unpleasant things about us.

When one disappointment with someone deters us, let's not give in that easy. Try again. Trying to think from the other person's position may help us see his emotions and logic. Then we may understand the situation better and may have some other feelings for that person than anger.

Rules to avoid quarrel may be very hard, but it's our only chance to reduce it. If we learn to forgive, we will be happy.

Are you happy with who is around you?

Are you happy with who is around you?

Being Grateful with People

Being grateful for the goodness that is already evident in one's life provides a deeper sense of happiness.

Do you find contentment being around with people no matter who they are? Are you not afraid to take time to hang out? How long has it been since you’ve gone out to play? Why do you invite family and friends over for dinner? Why are you making a list of Christmas presents?

When people are important to us, we give time for them. Even for just a few minutes, we're much eager to make them a part of us. We often don't consider whether or not we’re making them happy because we simply enjoy being with them.

Making them happy makes us happy and the best part of that is nothing beats the feeling of making a commitment and keeping it with the help of those around us. Being with people makes us happy... and being with the most important people in our life sums us up.

One thing that TRULY makes people happy above anything else is LOVE... or should I say the habit of caring for people around us more than ourselves. The less we worry about our own, the happier with people we will be.

© 2011 Tonette Fornillos