I like sharing about things that make the world feel good. Do you have what it takes to be happy with people?
Do you agree that many of us make the initial mistake of believing that happiness is something hard to achieve? We wait for a kind of magic to strike and make us happy. When this does not happen, we are resentful, and which little did we know -- is the wrong attitude.
I hope this hub will inspire us!
Nice and Accepting
Being nice is approachable and within means. It is not looking at our own ideals. It is not setting a pace for the rest of the world.
Expect good but not too much. Accepting realities teaches the ability to come to terms with one's own life as it really is - not as we imagine it ought to be. This is the best recipe for making a success of the little that has been put into one's hands. We can take what is offered by those around us and give at least as much as we receive. These instances can help take us being happy with people.
Happy to Belong
We humans need to belong. It is fundamental to our sense of happiness. Our families, friends, and neighbors are the first communities we are strongly affiliated to. Here, we first develop a sense of camaraderie, which levers a psychological desire to belong to a greater community where we can share common interests.
If we know it's a friend's wedding anniversary today, technology already allows us to send the freshest greetings with a touch of a button. It's less than a minute thought that connects. Even though the belonging intervention seems far and away, its outcomes are consequential and lasting.
In general, we are misinformed about other people's thoughts and often operate from this biased information. We only see others from the outside, yet it's so weird that many of us rush judging our insides by other people's outsides.
Feeling like we don't belong makes us both less motivated and less likely to hang out with people. This is an obstacle we might have been nurturing - a feeling that pushes us away from the world.
It's a high and mighty challenge but we are not supposed to be looking at what's bad in each of us but at what is nurturing and life-giving. Accepting that there are people and they are all within reach already makes us whole. Remember that you and I are not alone. You belong. I belong. We all belong.
Willing to Understand
When we anticipate that anyone will behave according to our expectations - we are deluded. It is no wonder the world is so stressed out. Each person on the planet has his or her own unique experiences. A friendly effort of putting one foot in their shoes can help us realize that our delusion is also unique to us.
When plans are being discussed and we put the preference of others before our own, not showing plainly that we hate having our routine disturbed; we are awakening our power to understand. This initiative gives us the courage to offer. We then take part in life's surprises which bring us some of the happiest moments.
Trying to bring everything around to one's point of view and handle them well, soon will gain us a desirable sense of compassion. Would you be willing to take some effort if you know that what you are doing means a greater air of harmony, more satisfying marriages, and friendships?
It brings us a cup of happiness helping others realize the value of being understood. If they do the same, you have made them happy, too.
Ready to Be There
Did you know that a feeling of being there for others boosts the immune system? The reason is it activates the emotions of joy, gratitude, contentment, and pride to yourself - thanks to your good deed. The positive emotion reduces and even kicks out negative attitudes like hostility, malice, and bitterness.
It is most likely to enjoy people if we are prepared to put some of what we possess into a friendship or relationship, regardless of what we get out of it.
Can we do favors readily? We can help ourselves by helping others, and if possible, let's not look for a way out if somebody asks for a helping hand. Selflessly helping people is a powerful way to feel good. We are lucky to have that gift that makes people feel good, too.
This is our golden opportunity to know more about ourselves and other people. Anything that brings us closer to other people tags along with a great sense of joy that we are needed as much as we need them.
Is Not Too Sensitive
If we've been told that we're too sensitive, then we probably are. This usually means we may be overly emotional and don't feel sufficiently secure. We need to be careful. If we don't guard against these ill-feelings, people will regard us as a liability.
Going temperamental has a tendency to allow the poison of hurt or anger to accumulate inside us which eventually will become a raging inferiority complex. This state of mind is a drawback to our relationship with people. It leads to nowhere.
It is recommended to turn it around. If we have to disagree with someone, we can say it in a nice way. An effort to understand circumstances helps take responsibility for one's sensitivity. It reminds us that the person probably means no harm. This way, we will learn to manage our feelings before they get out of control.
But let's not rush to our fences. It would be perfect to have everybody loving us in five minutes. But this just isn't always possible. We have to build gradually. In the end, we will realize that being firm, clear, constructive and patient, are some of the ways to be happy with people anywhere... anytime.
Proceeding with Caution
Conflicts arise. But taking the long view helps subside the heat. Details tend to magnify that molehills become mountain leading to quarrels. It isn't the big disputes that are the danger - but the little squabbles. Watch it, or it becomes a habit. In fact, men are very cautious about this, they hate emotional scenes and will do anything to avoid one. It only pays not to risk a showdown for a trifle, that we may not hear a lot of unpleasant things about us.
When one disappointment with someone deters us, let's not give in that easy. Try again. Trying to think from the other person's position may help us see his emotions and logic. Then we may understand the situation better and may have some other feelings for that person than anger.
Rules to avoid quarrel may be very hard, but it's our only chance to reduce it. If we learn to forgive, we will be happy.
Being with People
Being grateful for the goodness that is already evident in one's life provides a deeper sense of happiness.
Do you find content being around with people no matter who they are? or are you not afraid to take time out to hang or just be? How long has it been since you’ve ‘gone out to play? Why do you invite family and friends over for dinner? Why are you making a list for Christmas presents?
I guess you'll agree with me that when someone is important to us, we give time for them, and even for just a few minutes, we're much eager to make them a part of us. We don't even have to consider whether or not we’re making them happy because we simply enjoy being with them.
Making them happy makes us happy and the best part of that? Nothing beats the feeling of making a commitment and keeping it with the help of those around us. Being with people makes us happy... and being with the most important people in our life sums us up.
One thing that TRULY makes people happy above anything else is LOVE... or should I say the habit of caring for people around you more than about ourselves. The less we worry about our own and more about the others, the happier with people we will be.
Tonette Fornillos (author) from The City of Generals on January 02, 2021:
That's great Nozima. We all deserve happiness. Have a wonderful New Year!
Nozima on July 23, 2019:
Thanks a lot
You are totally right
Happiness isn't thing for what we should try
We should deserve it
Tonette Fornillos (author) from The City of Generals on February 27, 2016:
HI Patty. We live in the world full of mysteries. At those times we're uncertain, there are only two choices we have -- to be confused or not.... Me? I'd choose not to be confused, lol. I got this advice from a monk who said one way to be happy is to understand that nothing is perfect , no one is perfect. I bet that's mystery solved! So glad the article has helped you! Hugs! -Tonette
Patty on December 14, 2014:
You are so awesome for helping me solve this mytersy.
Patty on December 14, 2014:
You are so awesome for helping me solve this mytersy.
Tonette Fornillos (author) from The City of Generals on December 14, 2014:
Very much welcome, Karson. We all learn from one another. Thanks for reading and may your days be happy... MERRY CHRISTMAS!:=)
Karson on December 14, 2014:
It's always a relief when someone with obvious exsretipe answers. Thanks!
Tonette Fornillos (author) from The City of Generals on July 20, 2012:
Olde Cashmere - I should say those words are a reflection of being among wonderful people. It makes us do things with joy. Glad to be among all of you. Best wishes James and thank you.
Olde Cashmere on July 20, 2012:
This is a beautiful hub and I admire you for putting together such powerful words. Voted up, useful, awesome, and beautiful :)
oceansider on July 08, 2012:
Yes, tonipet, we can only love others and put them first, with the love of Jesus, definitely! Take care, glad my words were encouraging.
Tonette Fornillos (author) from The City of Generals on July 08, 2012:
My dear Helen - truly only through JESUS that we can put others before us first, for only through HIS blessings that we can do it truthfully with joy right from the heart. Your words are so encouraging. Thank you for that, too. Blessings as well.
oceansider on July 08, 2012:
Hi Tonipet, Thank you for this great article and what you said in it, about putting others first, for being patient, I agree with, and this is what Jesus Christ wants us to do, to love others, as you have said!
May God bless you and take care! Helen
Tonette Fornillos (author) from The City of Generals on June 24, 2012:
Always welcome lamb. There is nothing like giving yourself for others, you will find so much joy in seeing them happy. Now it makes me happy to know this gives you some deep thoughts. Happy days and be happy with people always:=) Thanks for reading.
Injured lamb on June 24, 2012:
Thanks Tonette for sharing with us such a thought provoking hub...it really gives me some deep thoughts...
Tonette Fornillos (author) from The City of Generals on June 14, 2012:
Therightword - Like you said, humor and optimism are a way of life, I too believe there's getting more in expecting less. Sounds difficult but worth all the effort. Thanks for that wisdom, we all needed the right words :=) Lovely name. Thank you for the inspiring words.
TheRightWord from Sunny California on June 14, 2012:
"We are most likely to enjoy people if we are prepared to put some of what we possess into a friendship or relationship, regardless of what we get out of it."
SO True. I have used this method to turn around relationships that were seemingly doomed, whether it was a coworker or family member. When you give up the expectation that you will get something back, you get so much more back. Thank you for the uplifting hub.
Tonette Fornillos (author) from The City of Generals on May 19, 2012:
Lucky your hubber friend to know what real happiness is... love truly makes people happy. I'm happier that you find my views well-presented and clearly-stated. That's very motivating of you. Great hubs such as yours are worth-sharing and you're always welcome. Thank you for your thoughts and the very nice comment. Take care!
Ishwaryaa Dhandapani from Chennai, India on May 18, 2012:
A thoughtful and well-advised hub! My one of hubber-friends told me that happiness should come first from you and then be very happy with people. If we are surrounded by our loved ones, genuinely good-natured friends and well-wishers, nothing beat our happiness with them. Your views are well-presented and clearly stated. Well-done.
P.S. Thank you for bestowing me with an honor of linking my hub to your sensible hub.
Thanks for SHARING. Useful & Interesting. Voted up.
Tonette Fornillos (author) from The City of Generals on May 02, 2012:
Hello wwolfs. I missed this warm comment, apologies. I like what you said on how people who cares for us in so many ways was simply only to attempt to make our lives better. So true!
Sometimes and busy as we are, we tend to ignore their very presence. Thanks to goodness that also many of those times we realize how these people can bring calm to our emotions, environment, and yes, even for no reason at all. Perhaps it's the wonder of us people. We're here for one another to enrich lives.
Thank you for this. I hope all is well with you. Happy driving!
wwolfs on March 19, 2012:
Tonipet - Another great hub. I, too, agree that you can not rely on others for your happiness and that you would be setting yourself up for disappointment. Happiness has to come from within and I have always felt that you need to become your own best company first. When you feel that happiness within, you find it easier to be by yourself and to choose other people to be around.
The quote, misery loves company, unfortunately, is true and it is always best to avoid this type of person as their only attempts are to make your life unhappy. They only bring stress. Some people make it virtually impossible to be happy around them.
People come with a mixture of emotions. You just know the difference, when you are around someone that really cares, that share understanding and compassion, and their only attempts are to make your life better. They lift you up when you're down. Their very presence can bring calm to an otherwise shaky emotion, or environment, and many times for no reason at all. They just make you feel content. Those are the people to enrich your life with. Those are the people that truly put a smile on your face.
You have provided many great ways to help lead someone to the path of happiness. I want to thank you again for adding my hub to yours. You certainly are a cheerful person and always manage to put a smile on my face. :) I, too, really like the pictures you used. If only everyone could live in peace and harmony.
Tonette Fornillos (author) from The City of Generals on January 31, 2012:
Haha yes, how would've the big cats enjoyed walking with the lion if not with the thought of being happy with what's around them, :=)funny thought right? Thank you for liking that... No worries, I'm still in your list of followers and happy to have you still following. Thank you Richie. So enjoyed reading your hubs, really. Cheers!
Richieb799 from Cardiff, Wales UK on January 30, 2012:
Hey, a great uplifting hub, I especially like the picture of the lions! Sorry I stopped following you earlier by mistake, someone followed me and I followed them back and then they stopped following me so I was trying to find out who it was. regards, Richie
Tonette Fornillos (author) from The City of Generals on December 11, 2011:
Thank you Alur. I like that one you said about extracting your own energy. Just an ideal way to beat any of the world's outside forces. If we all do it, there would be more understanding than chaos.
Although I have a strong belief of how people can add happiness to one's life, I too don't agree on relying on them for happiness, not even for the love of my life. He may be there to make me happy, but my happiness doesn't just rely on him, and he knows that :-). Thanks for the engaging insight too. A great thing to ponder upon.
Happy holidays to you!
ALUR from USA on December 10, 2011:
Insightful and good steps to achieving balance. I typically have no expectations as I am less likely to be hurt or wounded when people disappoint. I've found extracting my own energy, rather than borrowing it from artificial trinkets or emotional vampires, sustains my peace.
People do need people however to rely on them for happiness is a big mistake. If happiness or at least contentment cannot be from within, the journey to healing will not begin.