How Forgiveness Heals

Updated on January 30, 2019
Mekenzie profile image

Susan has three grown children and eleven grands. She has learned a lot through the messes of life. God is her anchor! He grants wisdom.


Anger, Forgiveness and Healing

Are you angry because you have been wronged?

Do you hold bitterness against someone who injured you?

Jesus says, "Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen." I John 4:20

Whoa, those are STRONG words.

Since it's pretty clear we can't love God and hate a person, what do you do with the anger that boils up to the surface or the resentment that keeps getting stuffed deep inside? How do we get rid of these destructive emotions?

How do we forgive when everything in us screams for justice?

Aren't there some offenses that are unforgivable?

In this article, you will be led to consider the deep healing found in forgiveness.

When we offer forgiveness to our offender, we receive inner healing. Forgiveness and healing are intimately related.

When we choose (yes, it is a choice) to forgive it releases us from the chains that bind our hearts to pain. Choosing to forgive opens our heart's door to inner peace.

Forgiveness may seem impossible, even inconceivable if you have suffered at the hands of someone's abuse, anger, neglect or unjust actions.

The only way you can forgive is to choose forgiveness. Did you know you don't have to feel anything to forgive? Forgiveness is not a feeling. Most likely you will never feel like forgiving someone who has wronged you.

This article will cover two types of hurts which hold the power to ruin your life. The first type is the pain of betrayal and the second is parental failure.

"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." Mark Twain



Have you ever been betrayed? When someone you trust betrays you, the anguish and pain go deep. Perhaps betrayal came to you through an authority figure, a person who should have looked out for, loved and protected you.

Betrayal is a shake-up of our sense of security and reality. It is a slap in the face by someone we once trusted and with whom we felt safe. It HURTS!

The pain of betrayal, if left unchecked, will fester and spread destructive emotions all through your soul.

We must deal with betrayal as Jesus did. All through His life He gave of Himself and loved. Yet betrayal followed Him everywhere He went.

Do you remember His words as he hung on the cross, nailed to a cruel tree by those who hated and betrayed Him? He was brutally betrayed yet this was His response, "Jesus said, Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing." Luke 23:34

When a Friend Betrays You

William Blake
William Blake

Friend Betrayal

A friend is one in whom our heart safely trusts. When that trust is broken it turns our world inside out and upside down.

When a friend or trusted confidant goes behind your back talking to others and scheming about you, it is more than disloyal. It is caddy and mean-spirited. It is a betrayal of a bond of trust between supposed friends.

Friend betrayal leads to many tormenting questions like, "How could she do this to me? Why didn't she work through this with me rather than plotting behind my back? I trusted her!

It is hard to wrap your mind around the fact that the person whom you called friend, the one with whom you became vulnerable did not protect your name but in fact, schemed against you.

Betrayal leaves your heart in a heap of ashes. The Innocence of trust is violated. The rippling effects of betrayal and deception have the power to lead us to a crisis.

What will we do with our broken heart? How do you forgive a friend or confidant who has, so to speak, stuck a knife in your back?

Did Your Parent Fail You?

Cherish Your children
Cherish Your children

Parenting Failure

Did your parents fail you? Did you feel unloved because of parental detachment?

Did your Mom or Dad take their anger out on you, did they abuse you? We all know there are unspeakable abuses that go on behind closed doors.

Parenting failure, at any level, hurts a child and it follows them through life.

The child who has suffered through abuse, whether it be neglect, demeaning words, physical or sexual abuse, will grow up to pay the price for the sins of their parents or other trusted adult figures.

The child whose mother or father failed to provide a safe place to grow up will face many obstacles in life. Issues like abandonment, PTSD, fear, insecurity, panic attacks, low self- esteem and more are the result of parenting failures.

Many of us, hurt in childhood, harbor anger, pain, resentment, and UN-forgiveness. These agents of destruction are responses firmly planted in our hearts as children.

Some children have lived through horrific abuse in their home, the place where they should have been protected and sheltered.

A person wounded in childhood will trigger at the least memory of abuse.

Paul Hedgestrom, the founder of Life Skills International, said this about triggers: "When your reaction to a situation is greater than the situation calls for you can be sure it comes from your childhood."

Through Life Skills, I began to see the baggage I carried from childhood abuse. I finally understood why I triggered over seemingly, insignificant situations. In time, I learned to recognize the trigger. Being aware of why I triggered helped me to be proactive rather than reactive.

Identifying wrong thinking patterns is the first step. The second step is to counter those triggers with God's truth.

It takes practice and a commitment to counter every lie with truth, but with practice, you can change your life.

Healing the wounds of childhood is a process and forgiveness is the closure.

God helped me to forgive my parents. As I continually prayed for God's help to forgive, He came through and granted me sweet peace.

Trust in God

Do you Believe
Do you Believe

Do you believe in God?

I am a believer in God and His truth taught in the Bible.

As I have struggled with my emotional pain, I knew where to go for answers. As a believer in God, I believe he is creator, redeemer, friend and the giver of life. I go to God's Word for answers:

  • What does God say about being offended or deeply hurt?
  • What do I do with the rage and anger I feel?
  • What would God have me do?

As I search the Bible, I see the answer; The answer is to forgive. WHAT, you might say, FORGIVE?

Yes, but Jesus calls us to not only forgive but also bless those who persecute you. I can almost hear your thoughts, "You've got to be kidding me!!!" Nope, He's not kidding. His ways are NOT our ways.

Here is how He explains the difference between man and God: Isa 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Here is a taste of the council in the Bible regarding forgiveness:

  • "Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen." I John 4:20
  • "Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." Col. 3:13
  • "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you." Matthew 6:14
  • "And when you stand to pray, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." Mark 11:25
  • "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times? Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." Matthew 18:21, 22
  • "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord. On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:17-21
  • "No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from me,” declares the Lord."

As a believer, my motivation to forgive includes my profound gratitude for the forgiveness God has given to me for my sin. Jesus died in my place to cover that sin.

The one who created me knows how I tick. His word tells me how to handle all of life's circumstances. His word is truth. If I want to be forgiven for the wrongs I have done, God says I MUST forgive those who have wronged me.

Matthew West - Forgiveness

Break the Bondage

A wise friend of mine taught me what he called the forgiveness Prayer (thank you, Mark.) This prayer enabled me to break the bondage of unforgiveness.

A few years ago an offense happened that hurt me to the core; It was an attack on my husband's character. "

I consciously and repeatedly prayed this prayer of forgiveness for three days. On the third day, something very profound and miraculous happened. I FELT the forgiveness I prayed for in Faith.

My heart felt completely mended, and my attitude was supernaturally changed. God put compassion in my heart for the man who had hurt us so deeply.

Below I will share this very healing prayer. I prayed this every time hurt or angry thoughts surfaced. Pray it out-loud and allow the words to wash over you and sink deep in your soul. It works!

Breaking the Chaines of the past
Breaking the Chaines of the past

The Forgiveness Prayer

Dear Lord, I choose to forgive Martin (not his real name) for (begin to list the offenses and hurts). I choose to forgive him for (list the offenses) out of obedience to the Lord Jesus Christ ...... Right now I choose to release him out of my grip and into your hands to do with as you please.

You do not have to feel forgiving to forgive. Forgiveness is a choice you make - your feelings with follow.

After a few days, whenever negative emotions flared I prayed this prayer. On the third day, I found myself emotional with tears of compassion toward Marvin. I began to include these words at the end of that prayer, "and Lord, after you have opened his eyes, please draw him to yourself and let Him know how much you love him - heal his heart, Lord."

Amazingly, by choosing to forgive Marvin, God changed me. He changed me from the inside, from a heart of stone, He gave me a heart of compassion.

It's a very simple prayer. But it has the power to cut the bondage of unforgiveness and the possibility that a root of bitterness spring up and fester within the heart. Bitterness is an ugly bedfellow.

Do you need to Forgive?

Have you been wounded by

See results

Forgiveness Heals

A continuation on the topic of Forgiveness and the power it has to heal the brokenhearted. Part two delves into offenses and abuse and the power unforgiveness has to keep us in bondage.

Forgiveness Heals

Questions & Answers

    © 2009 Susan Ream


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      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        5 years ago from Michigan

        RT, Yes forgiveness is so important and the only way to heal from painful undeserved hurts.

        I have not heard of Chris Braun but I love the title and will look it up. Thank you for stopping by and leaving additional insight here.

        God Bless!


      • profile image


        5 years ago

        Such an important topic--so pertinent in life (as indicated by the comments posted here)! Thank you for sharing what you've learned. One of the best books on forgiving that I've read is Chris Braun's Unpacking Forgiveness.

      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        6 years ago from Michigan

        Hi love, I hear you when you say that forgetting is the evidence that you have forgiven an offense ... and it does work that way sometimes. However there are people who have been traumatized by offenses that have shattered their lives.

        In cases of abuse, murder, active defamation of character, neglect and other horrendous hurts it takes a deliberate choice to forgive. The forgiveness prayer really does work as you do what you know needs to be done no matter how you feel.

        At first one may feel like they are lying as the emotions strongly contradict the words coming out of your mouth. Amazingly as we do what is right ... no matter how we feel ... forgiveness floods our hearts and we find peace ... at last.

        Thanks for your comment .. it's appreciated. So happy your friend apologized for something that happened over 10 years ago. How cool is that?



      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        6 years ago from Michigan

        Rebecca, I am honored to have you visit and leave such a kind note. You were one of the first people on hubpages to make me feel welcomed and encouraged.

        I need to get on over for a read on your hubpage. I'm not the fastest reader or writer so it's hard to keep up with every special writer here on the hubs.

        Thanks for the visit friend and for the lovely comment. :)



      • profile image


        6 years ago

        An excellent hub. You often hear people saying that they forgive you, but they never forget. This is not real forgiveness if you ask me because you are still holding a grudge against the person. Time heals all wounds. True forgiveness is when you no longer remember what happened between you and that person and you are able to let it go completely. Recently, I forgave someone who graduated from college with me. He was a good friend of mine and I remember us having a big fight over something stupid, but I swore never to speak to him again. After ten years, he emails me apologizing for being such a jerk. I found his apology so sincere that right at that very moment, I forgot everything that happened between the two of us.

      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        6 years ago from Michigan

        Sweet Skye, Your words take on a life of their own. I love how you are able to make them come alive as if dancing before me.

        Your recent hub on forgiveness was so powerful! It demonstrates the truth that forgiveness sets us free and that it is possible to forgive no matter how grave the offense.

        I love the story of Joseph too Skye. Joseph knew betrayal and what it is like to be thrown into a very degrading situation which was totally beyond his control. As a slave he eventually becomes the #1 hand man to Pharaoh because of his wisdom and integrity. As the reader we watch his story unfold from disaster to great honor. We also see a humble man who forgives and delivers his family from famine.

        I have missed you too and I am glad you are back to writing on the hubs. Your heart for people and devotion to God shine to all who stop by your hubs for a read. I thank God for you and that ours paths have crossed ... amazing how a kindred heart and love for a Sista' can be made through writings alone.

        You keep preachin' it Sista' ... God uses you!

        Love and Hugs!


      • Rebecca E. profile image

        Rebecca E. 

        6 years ago from Canada

        how lovely and I'm so glad to have read it. I think you've made a wonderful point about going/not going to the person. What we think may help... just may not. Lovely. Many blessings.

      • skye2day profile image


        6 years ago from Rocky Mountains

        Mek Sista!! Your writing is so gentle and warm. The Holy Spirit jumped out and truly touched my heart. I found great comfort in reading your words that flow in Bibical truth.

        Forgiving for me is letting go of the debt I beleive I am owed for my pain and or suffering. God says vengeance is mine. As you said it does not mean we need to run out and tell the person we forgive them. They may not even know they have injured us. We are the ones in bondage.

        No maatter forgiveness heals us. To be truly free we need to forgive. God will help our hurting hearts to do so and HE will turn all things for the good for those that love HIM.

        Joseph told his brothers the suffering he endured for 13 years because of their actions. He could have had them beheaded!!! I believe all along Joseph had great compssion for his brothers. After confronting the boys he provided for his father Jacob and all the clan for the rest of their days. Love that story!

        Mek I love you sista. I am so grateful God led us to the hubs to meet. It is so nice to see you back in swing, writing. You touch many hearts with the Love of Christ in you. God Bless you and yours precious one. Keep pouring out the salt and shining the light. U will I know it. Phil 4;13

        Love, Skye

        Linking back to your hub from mine!

      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        7 years ago from Michigan

        Hi Buddy, Hugs for coming to my hubpage and commenting. I knew you would agree and have learned the importance of forgiveness yourself.

        I agree with you it's much much better to live free and NOT be weighed down with bitterness, offense, hatred, anger or hostility.

        Placing them in His care releases us from the need to seek revenge. For me that very act of forgiveness usually ends up turning my heart to compassion for the person who has harmed me.

        Been awhile since I've read your amazing stories. I look up to you as a writer and I am blessed by your friendship.



      • Rolly A Chabot profile image

        Rolly A Chabot 

        7 years ago from Alberta Canada

        Hi Mekenzie... hugs for writing this and I agree with all you have placed here.

        If we hang onto the pain of those who have hurt us they we are held in bondage by them. In many cases they have all but forgotten what has happened and move along with their lives while we stew.

        Funny thing when you speak to them and hold them accountable and forgive then we are set free. How they respond is their stuff and not ours. Better to live free. If they fail to respond then it is best to forgive and place them in His care. Life is far to short.

        Hugs and Love from Canada

      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        7 years ago from Michigan

        Hi teacher, Yes, unless the offender forgives there can be no reconciliation. But the ball is then in their court and you are free.

        Look forward to reading more of your hubs!


      • teacherjoe52 profile image


        7 years ago

        Hi Mekenzie.

        Thank you for your comments and yes it will be nice reading each others articles.

        Yes I agree, forgiveness is very important. If the offender refues to reconcile I politely imform them their behavior is unacceptable and there will be no further relations until they are ready to reconcile.

        God bless you.

      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        7 years ago from Michigan

        Faith, thank you for sharing a bit about yourself and your upbringing. We both understand the battle that rages inside a child who is the brunt of injustice and lacks the nurturing every child needs.

        The good news is that we can change the flow of generations before us by claiming God's promises and following His instructions.

        I am so glad the Holy Spirit put his spotlight on your heart to reveal un-forgiveness. I have had the same experience several times in my life and when I choose to forgive I too am free!

        You are sweetheart - let your light continue to shine for Him.

        God Bless!


      • Faith Reaper profile image

        Faith Reaper 

        7 years ago from southern USA

        Wow Mekenzie, what an awesome hub full of His truth of forgiveness. Your profile reminds me a lot of myself, about your home life, etc., and most importantly that you are also a Daughter of the King!!! I'm looking forward to following your hubs. I didn't even realize I needed to forgive my dad, who was an alcoholic, but it wasn't until age 30 that the Holy Spirit revealed this unforgiveness in me, and boy, I felt so free once I did forgive him, and I understood then that he had the disease of addiction, from which he was never delievered. So, then, my heart was filled with compassion for my dad, as I all of a sudden understood. Praise Him!!! In His Love, Faith Reaper

      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        7 years ago from Michigan

        It took me years and a world of hurtful situations and people in my life to learn it too. It is amazing when you forgive, out of obedience to Jesus, he grants you a forgiving heart and freedom from the pain. Thanks for your encouragement ..

        GOD Bless YOU!


      • Deborah Brooks profile image

        Deborah Brooks Langford 

        7 years ago from Brownsville,TX

        This is so beautiful...forgiveness...when I learned to forgive my health got so much better...Jesus says to forgive 70 x took me years to realize how important that is..great hub...debbie

      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        7 years ago from Michigan

        Macrobin, Forgiveness is essential to our well being and to the believer - it is a command. Easy ... maybe the formula sounds easy but the actual working through the pain and allowing God to bring you to the place of surrender and complete forgiveness is not easy.

        God's healing power is remarkable and beyond human understanding. His word is Truth and when we choose to live our lives according to that truth, we find the secret to fulfillment and abundant life.

      • macrobin profile image


        7 years ago from Amarillo, Texas

        Forgiveness is fairly easy when you see it from a spiritual point of view. I wrote a Hub on this very subject today. More people need to know the truth about forgiveness!

      • ithabise profile image

        Michael S 

        7 years ago from Danville, VA

        Hi Mekenzie. I enjoyed your hub and have gladly linked it to one I've just written. Thank you for the added insight.

      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        8 years ago from Michigan

        Thank you my kind and dear Buddy! I've been going over my hubs and finding a need to proof and edit. Cannot believe how much work there is to do to present a polished and smoothly written article. I guess this is a good opportunity for me to apply discipline in the details. Enjoy your writing - you are getting better and better. You inspire so many people with your wisdom and excellent ability to communicate.



      • profile image

        "Quill Again" 

        8 years ago

        Hi Sister... always good to read and re-read anything you write as there is always a message to impact us all... Know that you loved here by many as many love you through the comments they leave.

        Blessings and Hugs as Always

      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        8 years ago from Michigan

        Hello sweet skye2day, Thank you for your encouragement skye, you are such a precious and beautiful friend. I miss ya too and I hope my life can slow down enough to write again. Thanks for touching my page and heart with your presence. I love Ya Sista' May God continue to bless your pure heart with the message of hope you write so eloquently. Love to YOU!


      • skye2day profile image


        8 years ago from Rocky Mountains

        Greetings Sista, A Beautiful awesome hub of Love and huge importance and truth in forgiving. Gods truth. Thank you for sharing this hub of love. I realize you wrote it a while back. Great thing about the hubs they remain. I am thankful for the read. You are awesome. I miss ya sista. I understand you have much on your plate you are loved at the hubs and I am sure all the hearts you touch love you. Many Blessings sista. You keep preachin it K. Keep on. Sending warm hug.

      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        9 years ago from Michigan

        louis, glad you found it insightful. It has healed much pain throughout my life. God doesn't want us to carry the pain or to believe the lies that come with offense .. Release to God and let Him deal with the offender .. Forgive to be forgiven and to be set free. Thanks for stopping by louis ..



      • louisxfourie profile image

        Louis Fourie 

        9 years ago from Johannesburg, South Africa

        Very insightful article, THANKS

      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        9 years ago from Michigan

        By Grace, so nice to meet you sweet lady! Unforgiveness IS poison (as you say) a poison that holds us hostage. It is my prayer that, as you noted, the young will learn quickly in order to be freed up to live life abundantly. Thank you for the Kudos sista'! I look forward to knowing you better.



      • By Grace 7 profile image

        By Grace 7 

        9 years ago

        This is absolutely spot on as I know to my cost, I held unforgiveness against someone over something very small and trivial for many years. At least nowadays it has proved useful for a hub lol...

        Until I learned this lesson my unforgiveness and its poison fruit grew and held me captive or rather I held me captive with my hatred and unforgiveness. This is a lesson better learned young and quickly.

        An excellent hub I am voting this up and hitting the useful button well done.

      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        9 years ago from Michigan

        Forgive to be forgiven is a simple concept .. YUP. The application and follow through are vital to our peace. I must say dear lady, we have much in common .. I too had to forgive a molester .. NOT EASY to release .. BUT obedience to God's directives sets us free from the pain and destruction of hatred and agony. Only God can lift us to this level of freedom .. HE deals with the offender.

        Thanks for leaving your insight! Yes God is GOOD!!!


      • drpastorcarlotta profile image

        Pastor Dr Carlotta Boles 

        9 years ago from BREAKOUT MINISTRIES, INC. KC

        WOW! What a wonderful Hub! You must forgive to be forgiven, that simple. If you don't you will be wondering why your life is in a mess! I had to forgive a man who molested my daughter!! From that day, my whole world changed! It wasn't easy when I thought about it, but I knew what was going to remain in my life if I didn't. God is GOOD!!!!

      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        9 years ago from Michigan

        billy, nice to have visit my hub. I agree It is hard to forgive when the natural response to being hurt is to allow the hurt to keep us thinking about the offense. But that's kinda like bondage ... ya know what I mean?

        It's not too hard to say the prayer I wrote about .. You don't even have to 'feel it' Just do it because it's right .. the amazing thing is that as I have prayed in obedience .. my feeling have always changed and I find healing .. it's a 'GOD thing' ... Miraculous really.

        Yes billy in order to move forward we must take that first step .. forgiveness. Thanks for your comments.

        Bless YOU!


      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        9 years ago from Michigan

        Creativeone ... nice to see you! I agree we must forgive to heal. God commands us to forgive when He says .. 'whenever you pray, forgive.' In fact I have a sticky note on my fridge to remind myself. I'll have to come by for a read .. my life has been busy of late.. wish I could spend hours reading my favorite authors .. seems there is never enough time.


      • billyaustindillon profile image


        9 years ago

        Very powerful and inspirational - forgiveness one of the hardest things to do but so necessary for getting ahead and going forward.

      • creativeone59 profile image

        benny Faye Douglass 

        9 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

        Thank you McKenzie,for a very interesting and useful hub, forgiveness is something we should all do in order to be forgiven and to heal. Thank you for sharing. Godspeed. creativeone59

      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        9 years ago from Michigan

        Our minds cannot forget ... that's why it's important to forgive so we don't have pain every time we remember.. Yes Janny learning from experience is what makes us stronger.



      • JannyC profile image


        9 years ago

        I forgive just dont forget and I learn from it.

      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        9 years ago from Michigan

        Teresa .. walking in that road again? There is more to that statement than I know.. I'm guessing. I look forward to reading your hubs, exploring your thoughts and knowing you better. :0)

        Blessings! Mekenzie

      • Teresa Laurente profile image

        Maria Teresa Rodriguez - Laurente 

        9 years ago from San Antonio, Texas, U.S.A.

        Reading all these have brought back memories as if I am walking in that road again. Yes, you are right. Let go, forgive for our own good and for God to smile down at us. More power. Thank you for the sweet message you left. Indeed, we have connections as your hubs strike me home. God bless.

      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        9 years ago from Michigan

        MFB, I am so happy to see you digging up some of my old hubs. Of course with Artwritis visiting me ... Old Hubs are the only option. LOL

        I love this - "forgiveness is for giving, for regiving love and hope to one who has wronged you."

        Good Observation - forgiveness is NOT simply excusing and continuing to carry the angst like a weight on your soul. Like sweeping it under the carpet .. problem is that it is still there waiting for Spring Cleaning when it gets exposed for what it is ... FILTHY DIRT!

        I agree with you that forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation. It is BEST to stay away from those who leak poison.

        You said "Let God forgive those we can't" .. Just a sec. here ... I'm shifting the glasses I see through .. Yes, I see it now .... when I CHOOSE, out of obedience to God, to forgive, as in the forgiveness prayer .. it is GOD who grants the forgiveness ... that which I was unable to do myself .. YES it is God who changed my heart from stone to compassion ...

        Thanks for the encouragement MFB ... You Inspire ME!


      • MFB III profile image

        Matthew Frederick Blowers III 

        9 years ago from United States

        Forgiveness is for giving, for regiving love and hope to one who has wronged you, it is not for simply excusing someone and carrying the angst like a weight on your soul. it will eat at you like a cancer if you don't pardon without compromise the person who hurt you. There are situations that call for the separation of yourself form someone you forgive, such as infidelity, or Murder and abuse

        of your loved ones. Some such things are unforgiveable in so many ways. So the decision to forgive is hard, and often carries a huge price on one's emotions, but it is a cleansing in so many instances for the soul. Let God forgive those that we can't, he will separate the wheat from the chaff, we can still care from afar, and forgive

        the better side of any human but we must not associate with those who do the unforgivable.....we can only pray for there souls facing damnation. ~~~Superb write~~~MFB III

      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        9 years ago from Michigan

        Good thought Dave. I've heard different takes on Jesus and Judas. Judas opened himself up so fully that satan entered him and carried out his master plan through Judas. But the remorse you see in Judas afterwards is very clear ... more than he could carry ... we find him ending his own life rather than enjoying the rewards he had earned for turning Jesus in. His unbearable grief led him to the conclusion that he couldn't live under the load and so he committed suicide .. there was no turning toward Christ recorded. Good Question Dave ... I think Jesus did love Judas - but Judas allowed himself to follow satan's whispers. That's my take. Thanks for your provocative comments.

      • Dave Mathews profile image

        Dave Mathews 

        9 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

        Mekenzie, as I read through this Hub it got me to thinking, what about Jesus and Judas? I would like to believe, heck if you see my Hub on Judas I do believe that Jesus final prayer for forgiveness as He hung on the cross awaiting His soul to die, covered even Judas. I hope to see Judas and Jesus as soon as I arrive at the main gates of Heaven, when ever that day might come.

        Trusting in God's forgiveness for all,

        Brother Dave

      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        9 years ago from Michigan

        50 caliber, I'm so excited to have you visit one of my hubs. I've read your sage advise for months now as you have replied to many of the folks I also read. After reading your response to my hub on forgiveness .... Proverbs 25:11 came to mind. 'A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver,' You SO got it goin' on! :-) Thank YOU!

      • 50 Caliber profile image

        50 Caliber 

        9 years ago from Arizona

        Mekenzie, you've done a powerful hub on a subject that would help millions of angry folks. I used to be an angry person, and then I heard someone say "Don't let anyone, live rent free in your head" at the time this made so much sense and it took some time, but I pretty well have booted out the folks that I was angry at. I finally figured out that while I held resentments, they wondered around thoughtless of their past actions and the only one in the fight was me. So it's best to forgive and forget as quickly as possible and then you have a clear mind to live life with. Jesus is my answer to a life yet to come, where we won't have any issues with anyone or thing. It is quite hard to imagine that the old things will pass away, life will be completely smooth sailing for one and all. A free retirement plan that is but for the asking. Thanks

      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        9 years ago from Michigan

        Greg, how kind of you to read another of my hubs. I so appreciate your encouragement and feedback. Most of us learn the hard way I am afraid. We do what comes natural ... and then we pay dearly. Forgiveness goes against what is natural but it is the key to personal freedom. When we choose to forgive we don't have to carry it any more and are set free to love and be all that we were created to be. Blessings!

      • gf899 profile image


        9 years ago from Central Florida

        Very good article,

        It is an important message to get out. It took me a long time to realize that to hold a grudge slowly builds a poison within. And the only way to get rid of it is to let it go.

        Keep up the good work! :)


      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        9 years ago from Michigan

        Thank you dear Winsome - Yes forgiveness is what set us free and Jesus paid the ultimate price to see that we received it. Although at first thought forgiveness seems such a difficult gift to bestow on someone who has ripped us apart ... the surprise hidden in forgiveness is that when we forgive - we actually are given a gift ... of peace, freedom, joy and wellbeing. Be blessed Winsome and thanks for your comments - so fitting indeed.

      • Winsome profile image


        9 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

        Nice hub Mekenzie. If you could distill the Gospel into one word it would be forgiveness. I've recently been listening to the musical Les Miserables. What a showcase for forgiveness. Consider these lyrics from Javert: (Javert walks the deserted streets until he comes to a bridge over the river Seine)


        Who is this man?

        What sort of devil is he

        To have me caught in a trap

        And choose to let me go free?

        It was his hour at last

        To put a seal on my fate

        Wipe out the past

        And wash me clean off the slate!

        All it would take

        Was a flick of his knife.

        Vengeance was his

        And he gave me back my life!

        We could say that about the man on the cross. Unlike Javert, forgiveness is a gift I will take every time. Blessings

      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        9 years ago from Michigan

        Thank you Faith Talk .. for the confirmation and encouragement! Bless YOU!

      • profile image

        Faith Talk 

        9 years ago

        That was an AWESOME word from the Holy Spirit on forgiveness. Keep speaking what God wants you to speak and thank you for sharing you testimony on forgiveness. "Forgiveness is like setting a prisoner free and realizing that you were that prisoner."


        Faith Talk

      • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

        Susan Ream 

        9 years ago from Michigan

        Thanks Daisy - we both know what it is to be hurt. But we have learned to move on and NOT allow it to do damage or change us. Thanks for your comment! Blessings!

      • Daisy Kane profile image

        Daisy Kane 

        9 years ago from Newport News, VA

        This was a very insightful article. And a lot of people do allow the offender to have power over them, and it'a a hard habit for a lot of people to break. But this shows some people that it's okay to forgive, but it's a process that takes work.


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