Embracing What Is

Updated on March 5, 2020
Deborah Demander profile image

Deborah is a writer, healer, and teacher. Her goal is to help people live their best lives every day by sharing her joy and love of life.

Love What Is


Creating Suffering

You create your own suffering. What you experience as suffering comes from the story you write in your mind. You create a narrative and then respond and react to the story.

To release suffering, release resistance to what is. Stop fighting what is happening in this moment and learn to settle in, breathe and experience.

This article will offer three tips on how to embrace what is.

Do The Work


The Work of Byron Katie

Author Byron Katie has created a system to help you free yourself from your stressful thoughts.

This system, called The Work, helps you navigate the stressful stories you tell yourself, to get you back to a place of mental peace and stillness. There are three parts to the work.

Begin by writing down a thought that is giving you stress, making you feel angry, depressed or anxious.

Next, you will ask yourself four questions about that stressful thought.

Question 1: Is it true? Don't answer right away. Be quiet and listen to your heart. Is that statement, that stressful story, really true? Be honest.

Question 2: Can you absolutely know it is true? This question offers you an opportunity to dig a little deeper. Do you know all the facts? Do you have all the information? Are you just making stuff up?

Question 3: How do you react when you believe this thought? When you believe the story, how does your body react? What emotions do you feel? Where do you feel these emotions in your body? How do you treat yourself, or the person, or the situation that you've written about, when you believe this statement is true? Be honest with yourself and write down your different reactions to the sponsoring thought.

Question 4: Who would you be without that thought? What if you could remove that thought? What would change for you? How would you act differently? What would you do or say differently if you no longer held that belief? What if you didn't have that narrative running through your brain?

Finally, turn the thought around. Give yourself an opportunity to consider the opposite of your story. See if you can create at least three "turn arounds" for the statement that you wrote. How can you reframe or turn around different aspects of the stressful sponsoring thought?

It's Time to Let Go


Choose Now

You suffer because you resist. Cease resisting what is happening in this moment and allow yourself to settle into the flow of your life. Peace exists in this moment.

When you begin projecting your mind to the past, you experience depression. You dwell on all the mistakes, missteps and misspoken words. With no way to change or fix the past, your mind becomes depressed. Let go of the past. You cannot fix or change anything there.

This present moment offers a chance to begin again. The things you wish you could change? Change them now. The words you wished you'd spoken? Speak them now. Now is the only moment to change your life, your relationships or your experience. Stop living in the past and allow yourself to live today, exactly as you want it.

Projecting into the future creates anxiety. You worry about the "what-if's" that may never happen. You have no control over the future. You can only control this moment. Anxiety comes from worrying about what might happen.

Peace comes when you take steps today, to shape what might happen tomorrow. Whatever you want to have tomorrow, begin creating today. Those things you want to be, do and have at some unknown time in the future? Start being, doing and having them now, in this moment.

Be the person you want to be and do the things that person would do. Creating a positive energetic flow helps shape and shift tomorrows events. Your power and your peace exist today.

Move Forward with Detachment


Work Toward Goals Without Attachment

Embracing this moment offers you a chance to experience peace. Breathe into this moment and observe what your mind and body feel. Notice everything that comes up, as you let go of your need to control situations, people and outcomes.

You have no control over the past.

You have no control over the future.

You control yourself in this moment. In the here and now, you breathe, create and move energy. Now is where the work is done. In this present moment, you create the life you desire.

Work toward your goals, but detach from the outcome. Don't allow yourself to cling to the exact way things should happen. Remember, you don't have any control, except over yourself in this moment.

Continue moving forward, loosely holding what lies before you, with an idea of where you want to be. As you continue, things may shift. Things may change. That's okay. They always do. Allow space for changing, shifting, malleable energy.

Rigid, controlling energy leads to suffering. Release the grip. Release resistance. Breathe in this moment. And remember that all is well right now.

Namaste, friends


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    • Deborah Demander profile imageAUTHOR

      Deborah Demander Reno 

      6 months ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      Karen, It only takes a moment. Especially if you start with something small. A small issue is a great way to test the waters.


    • Deborah Demander profile imageAUTHOR

      Deborah Demander Reno 

      6 months ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      Peggy, I always appreciate your wise, insightful comments. Thanks for reading and commenting!


    • Deborah Demander profile imageAUTHOR

      Deborah Demander Reno 

      6 months ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      GJ Jolly,

      It is difficult to remove emotions from situations. I think the hardest thing though, is letting go of our need to control everything.

      Have a lovely day!


    • Deborah Demander profile imageAUTHOR

      Deborah Demander Reno 

      6 months ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      Thank you for your kind comments, and for taking the time to read my article.


    • Seafarer Mama profile image

      Karen A Szklany 

      6 months ago from New England

      Great Article! Thank you for sharing. Byron Katie's "The Work" was recommended to met and I have looked at her website. Still have yet to fill out the worksheet, but I plan to do so very soon.

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 

      6 months ago from Houston, Texas

      It is so very true that we do not control the past nor the future. Your tips on how to fully live in the present and work towards our goals make for good advice.

    • G J Jolly profile image

      G J Jolly 

      6 months ago from Tennessee, United States

      Taking the total rational approach to a problem is usually the only way to solve it. When emotions enter into it, it takes longer and the issue doesn't seem to be resolved all the way. Still, most people have a terrible time turning off their emotions. I know that I must make an all-out conscious effort to do it.

    • manatita44 profile image


      6 months ago from london

      A beautiful and helpful piece! Palatable food for thought. Lovely!


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