New at writing and passionate about it. Would love feedback.
The quote given above was said by Satan in Book I of Paradise Lost. This quote is the correct representation of how our mind works. We make situations heaven or hell according to our thought process. Sometimes we form rigid cages around us through these thoughts and make our lives difficult. Most of us are running towards a shadow called perfection. The more we are chasing that shadow the more lost we feel.
When such thoughts build up inside, what can you do? You can either stay in that cage or set yourself free. The following points might help you in that process.
Declutter Your World:
We meet so many people daily. The more our circle grows the more clash of ideologies and thoughts occur. This sometimes makes us try too hard to fit in and gives birth to insecurities. Those insecurities lead to much bigger problems than we anticipate. Here decluttering can help you. It simply means removing people who are not a positive influence in your life. Life is too short to let the other person dictate your happiness. Make your world positive by surrounding yourself with those who are going to be okay with your weirdness and your flaws. Just imagine how wonderful life would be when we do not have to keep explaining ourselves to anyone and just live our life. Slamming the door on negativity’s face is the best decision you will ever make.
Put Yourself First:
Putting ourselves first is the hardest thing for some of us. “But what if they mind?”, “what if everyone thinks I am boring?”, “what if I am the only one left alone?”, do these statements sound familiar? We believe that acting as per other person’s expectation of us is the right way to live. For this reason, we would drag ourselves to places we don’t like or are uncomfortable with just so that we are not left out. We don’t say NO to an offer to prevent others from disliking us in any way. This has been well described by Virginia Woolf:
“The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.”
This is very true, the fear of "What will people say?" does put us in prison of judgment. Why knowingly walk into a cage, lock it and stay there?
Learn to say NO. If you want to stay in a spend alone time alone or go out, it's up to you. whatever you do, don't let any of these decisions be governed by what THEY think. Your people are going to be by your side and you will not have to be uncomfortable for them to like you. Put yourself first but also remember that self-love is not a free pass to be mean.
We are humans and are bound to make mistakes at one or other point in our lives. Everyone falls, what’s not okay is to be harsh on yourself because of a mistake. Forgive yourself for not being more aware or not knowing better, As Maya Angelou has put it:
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
Don’t beat yourself up. Mistakes only lead you to better tomorrows. Once you have gone through all that you shouldn't have done, you can move on to all that you should.
You Cannot Make Everyone Happy:
Most of us have this notion of everything being either black or white. What we forget is that real life is more complicated. If you disagree with people on a topic doesn’t make you wrong, it means that you have a different set of beliefs. If along the way you meet people who do not respect your ideologies, it’s okay to let them go. You are not brought into the world to impress and live for others. People are going to disagree with you, the ideologies are going to clash. There a Billions of people in this world, may be more, but you cannot make all of them happy. Do not carry that burden on your shoulders.
“These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb” -Najwa Zebian
We need to stop making up problems that aren't there and live for our own happiness.
Be Your Own Kind Of Beautiful:
There are different definitions of beauty, you only need to remember your own. You are not too fat, too skinny, too tall or too dark, you are beautiful. Loving yourself is the hardest of all tasks. we are our own enemies at times and put ourselves down. But trust me, it’s the most refreshing feeling in the world to not care how others define you.
“Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.” Helen Keller
To let go the need for the world to define you is hard but worth it. Your weirdness is as important as sanity. Be yourself and watch the world changing around you. The phrase 'your vibe attracts your own tribe' has a great lesson for us. Make your vibe positive and happy and that is all that you will attract for yourself. I would like to end with the lines of Lewis Carol
"You're mad, bonkers, completely off your head. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are." ( "Alice's Adventures in the Wonderland")
© 2018 Vishakha