It is what it is. As long as you live for today then yesterday and tomorrow do not matter.
Where is the light?
I would like to share how important it is to experience peace. Having the ability to calm oneself with nothing other than a strong mindset is presumably the best skill that can be accomplished. We have all felt it at one point or another, some feel it more than others but we all know what comes to mind when given the word peace. I get the joy of feeling it almost all of the time. But I was not always this way, there was a point in time when it was very difficult for me to find harmony of any kind. I would walk through life filled with animosity and engulfed in distress. I could not speak assertively around more than a few people at any given time and I felt extreme waves of intense anxiety when going in public. My nerves were so out of regulation that I became physically sick because of it. I felt so miserable and agonized, I found gratification in harmful things; all I began to search for was the bottom of liquor bottles and the edge of a blade.
That was several months ago now, and my perspective on life changes daily. I enjoy that the human brain has the ability to remember, I look back into my life just to see how much I have grown and changed. That is why I write, so see my progress and treat it as an experiment. Imagine that if you will, take a test subject and expose them to different sets of environments and situations and see how they respond. Essentially that is what I am doing with my life. I record my progress and see how I was, how I am now and how I can improve. I feel that is the only way to find the path to enlightenment. I am searching for far more than a source of income or a sliver of hope just to get by. I am not lost today, I am awake and alive. I am here... right now.
I have been acting in such a way the last few weeks, that I have felt a great need to build my spirituality and search for that reconciliation. It is not nearly as hard as it may appear, but it is a work in progress for sure. Once started we are like a rocket ship taking off into space. We need the most energy on the initial take off, but once getting further and further into space, eventually the only thing keeping us afloat will be our own momentum.
In order to find that lovely presence of clarity and serenity, we must first have a desire to wake up. It takes time and cannot be forced. Once our eyes have been opened then we will feel it, but if we are unaware then we will continue to be blind to it. Those that are still in the dark will not understand until they are receptive; and one cannot become aware by an infatuation alone. That is when action steps in, at that place is when our eyes slowly begin to open like a newborn kitten and we begin to see life from a brand new pair of eyes. Having this intellect is the presence that has no name, it is the field of energy that remains unspoken of except among those that are awake. The attentive try to inform the bind of what they cannot see but they are unable to comprehend a belief in something that is unseen; calling us con artists and deceivers; they have no faith. All we can do is share our compassion in hopes that one day they gain a desire to tap into this bottomless pit of unconditional insight. With confidence we anticipate the moment they feel our radiating energy and catch the fire.
It is like describing the color orange to a blind man, a color must be seen to know what it is, it cannot be explained. The stages of consciousness are precisely like that, we all come at different times and when we do we are filled with wisdom and understanding.
For me, learning to find that light in the dark when original plans become askew has been quiet the challenge. I feel that I have awaken the dragon within, there is an intense need inside me to find that pleasant and everlasting peace.
Every morning I meditate, whether it be for 5 minutes or 15. It is important to me so I make it happen, It really helps guide me in the right direction. I find it very important to set an intention early in the day and try to set the tone for the rest of the hours of the day. In the past I would simply wake up several minutes before having to leave the house and rush out the door. I do not like that, on the rare occasion that I oversleep it leaves a bad taste in my mouth and I feel as though I am missing something. I take the skills I have and sustain what I can, but making that extra effort to start the day off right makes all the difference. I can honestly say that a year ago I was not feeling the same things I am feeling now. I am a new soul.
First of all, we know that a desire is the first step, we must dig deep and find ambition. But that is only where is starts. We cannot move forward if we do not act. What is next? Action. An aspiration without works is inanimate. So let us just start making a change. The secret to meditating, is to focus on the energy running through our bodies as we meditate. It is not simply sitting with eyes closed and breathing, although that is a good way to start. As we continue to meditate, learning to visualize the energy in our body is allied with imagining water running through pipes. Reflecting on how the air is flowing in and out of our lungs will send an astounding rush of stillness and prosperity that is mystifying to the ordinary individual. I cherish it become it clears my mind and gives me control of my fleeting thoughts.
Since we have already learned that meditating increases that inner peace, let us do more of it. When we are in public or during a work function and are unable to fully meditate there are several other things that can be done. Once external situations intrude in minds eye it is a game changer, but not by much. Those are a part of life and we must tackle them. Perhaps, gaining the wisdom of self love could be the most important of all the skills being taught here. If you do not take any of my advice, at least take this. Self love is significant because it revolts us out of the world we have been brought up in, that is full of addition and co-dependency. This world has taught us that it is OK to have outlets that take the form of harmful practices and mind altering substances. Certain conditions are so deeply rooted in us that over 80% of the human population are completely unaware of it. We are taught at a young age that being abnormal is not ok and one must take medication if not acting properly. But who decides what is "abnormal?" We are not coached on what proper coping skills are. If a child is unable to pay attention in class then the only solution is a hypothesis of ADD or ADHD, and if the pills do not work then disciplinary action would be taken. As if the child knew any better, and in turn we have lost our potential because of it. As we grow older we are being sent to behavioral hospitals to try and be diagnosed with diseases of the mind; after committing acts of inappropriate behavior in correlation to the nature exhibited at a younger age. Because we feel an overwhelming emotion we never learned to deal with as a kid; the problem is still there but we react with emotion rather than logic. If not coached in the healthy direction, then we take matter into our own hands; which could be detrimental. Why? Because as a child we were never directed the correct way to cope.
With all that being said, there is nothing we can do about the past; so letting it go is the best option at this time. To approach those issues now we must gain the clarity and peace to make the right move. And if we crave peace, then we will no longer choose to live in obscurity. That is where this spiritual journey has lead me. I was that young whippersnapper that never knew the right way to cope. I felt like a loaded gun constantly in the tactical ready position, firing when triggered, which happened often. I knew at the time it was no way to live, but I also had insight that I was not ready to gain a new perspective yet. I had an underlying knowledge that one day I would change the world; or at least the people I came in contact with.
With great clarity I will share my wisdom and insight with anyone that is willing to take a glimpse into inner peace; and I only hope that anyone who identifies can feel the profound compassion I emanate.