Writing is a part of my life, and it's an opportunity to be able to write about different topics that are interesting to readers.
Living without Learning about Self-Love Psychology
Growing up in New York City in the 1980s was different when I was going to public school. The teachers didn’t talk about beauty and the standard of beauty or self-love. The students were diverse and there weren't any conversations surrounding the topic of beauty and self-love and to talk about a different nose or weight loss.
I do remember that there weren’t any cell phones to view social media to see people who looked beautiful all the time, but there were girls who wanted longer hair and will be jealous of some girls. Also, some girls were liked a lot because of being pretty and athletic.
Often, I wouldn’t think about what I looked like, I just wanted to get good grades, and if I did want to look cute every day. I would view the supermodels in the magazines to get some ideas or I would watch what the kids were wearing in the neighborhood to see what fashionable looks I can copy.
They like wearing the name brand sweat suits, sneakers, fashionable coats, and huge gold earrings. Still, I never wanted to talk about looking differently physically. Many young people wanted to just be happy to hang out after doing homework and then would go to the nearest arcade or the park to play handball, play Double Dutch, ride bikes or roller-skate.
That was a time that self-love wasn’t even an issue to talk about. So many more things were happening, than to be worried about an already beautiful face. Even though, there were jealous girls at school and in the neighborhood, but they would be more interested in what type of fun activities to do outdoors. They wanted to keep busy and active and it was more interesting to young people at that time.
Besides, there were so many different people from different cultures. I think there shouldn't be any judgment about what is considered beautiful. Also, people who come from all the world that I’ve met never talk about beauty, not even now. Self-love seems to be private to women and men, to talk about self-esteem and self-worth.
Be Happy with Yourself
Furthermore, there are so many issues that come up about people who don’t do things that seem to be a part of not having self-love. Many people will probably, learn about self-love overtime after getting involved with issues that aren’t always right. For instance, someone else may be shown having a different looking face or different nose but look alright originally.
Not being happy about looking in the mirror and being obsessed with what can make an already nice face look better can be pressure to be perfect. Just wanting a perfect face or having a perfect body that isn’t perfect can be sad for some people who desire perfection. If not being happy with the person looking in the mirror or looking at photos all the time that shows imperfections. It seems that perfection isn’t possible if always finding what should be the next physical change to try to look even better.
Many individuals are being unrealistic about what the image of beauty is. Not everyone can get the same results after viewing someone who may look perfect all the time. So, trying to keep up with a false sense of what beauty is can make people upset if not being happy with the person in the mirror.
"When you know yourself, then you'll finally accept who you are"
— Jacqueline L. Smith
Changing Your Beautiful Features
Not being happy about a normal looking nose or having issues with skin color or not being happy with short hair is a problem. Especially, if someone is dealing with low self-esteem issues. Also, just comparing who's prettier and thinner shouldn’t be a reminder consistently about looking great all the time. It isn't important often for the average individual.
Although, people who get accustomed to taking photos throughout the day because of trying to get the perfect selfie is obsessed with a daily routine. It can be difficult to keep up with individuals who look great all the time and often they miss out on other things going on in life. It’s important not to be distracted all the time and a lot of people who try to keep up with what's trending always watch people who has constant attention.
However, many people do have a career to look beautiful all the time, but if someone isn't working to look great for financial purposes, then getting too serious about trying to look like someone famous can be challenging.
"It's alright to be alone sometimes to figure out what makes you happy and what is right for you."
— Jacqueline L. Smith
Looking Like a Perfect Individual
Often, someone who wants to look better had some work done. Usually, to their face, body, hair color, skin color or eye color. Someone can be curious about what a person looks like before.
Besides, it’s also nice to improve photos to look good but to be bothered because of wanting perfection all the time can be stressful. It is unrealistic for people who are looking at someone else who took the time to look great daily.
It can be complicated to someone if looking at people who don’t seem satisfied with their appearance every day. Being extreme for looking perfect isn't being honest to people who believe in being perfect. All that's being seen is all for a reason to have more attention.
Especially, if living up to what people have gotten used to and some individuals are exposed because of dishonesty. The situation can be embarrassing and sad if the truth is revealed about what is shown that isn’t realistic.
Trying to just look and act like the person who knows what the truth is will finally be revealed someday. Eventually, trying to keep up with others is the goal for someone who doesn’t always have self-love.
"Don't be afraid to be different if you desire to do something important that's out of the ordinary."
— Jacqueline L. Smith
Looking Different in Pictures
Furthermore, everyone has their unique look that should be embraced without feeling like it’s necessary to change often. An already nice perfect face and a healthy body are alright, but just becoming a completely different person can make the fans react dumbfounded. Just looking at an unrecognized person is surprising and then a fan may ask.
Your face looks different, did you have work done to your face? Also, after a while looking at someone who looks unrecognizable isn’t fully understood for someone who is always looking the same, which is being natural.
Still, if that makes someone happy then that’s a decision an individual has the choice to make. However, keeping up with a standard that isn’t real, isn’t helping young people watching all the time.
It’s supposed to be fun for young people seeing nice images, but it’s a goal to be a perfectionist to get the pictures to look perfect. Creating a beautiful picture shouldn't be taken so seriously that it can affect a person's self-esteem.
Therefore, everyone can take some time to grow when it comes to self-love. Spreading the truth about what's real and what isn’t, can help people who are struggling with self-love issues. Sometimes I will hear, “No one is perfect,” though people will try to look perfect anyway.
"If you have self-doubt, then reassurance can revive your positive self-esteem."
— Jacqueline L. Smith
"If self-love is a number one priority, then your sure about what your capable of doing for yourself."
— Jacqueline L. Smith
If you're confident about what direction you are going, then what negative people will think shouldn't matter.
— Jacqueline L Smith
© 2020 Jacqueline L Smith
Marcy Bialeschki from Cerro Gordo, IL on May 06, 2020:
I enjoyed this article very much. I think social media has harmed everyone's self-worth in the sense that it is easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing and how they look. I admire your strong sense of self. Good read.
OLUSEGUN from NIGERIA on February 21, 2020:
@ Cheryl E Preston, Uhm... What you said is also common in Yoruba land, sometimes most of us pattern our lives after what our parents, guardian or people older than us say. It is also common in Christian homes, in as much as I agree that parents need to teach their children to give them rest but it shouldn't be through enforcing, neither dictating.
Another error as stated is pointing to flaws without seeing good things in the children, we should learn to say words of encouragement to children when we see them do something good, that would show them that it is not all negative about their lives.
Many have lost their self-esteem because of this, to associate with peers in communities become difficult, needless to add that meeting up with them too, because of the in-built fear which they failed to get over with even at adulthood.
asereht1970 from Philippines on February 20, 2020:
Nice article. You really have a knack in writing. I enjoy reading your articles.
Cheryl E Preston from Roanoke on February 20, 2020:
I grew up in a time where people would surround me and point out my flaws. It was humiliating. I wish just one person had told me to accept myself.
OLUSEGUN from NIGERIA on February 20, 2020:
Sometimes we think about what others will say, react to our lifestyles such that we miss it out-rightly. This is good summation. We need to value ourselves, self-esteem is important if we shall make appreciable progress with our lives.