A Simple Exercise to Help You Let Go of Resentment or Grudges

Updated on May 15, 2018

 

We are told every now and then that it does not pay to hold grudges. Every now and then we find ourselves telling our friends or family that there is no point to holding a grudge and to let it go. It is very simple for a person who is dishing out the advice to say that, but the “injured” party finds it difficult to follow through on this. They prefer to hang on to that grudge.

Often we do not realise the kind of energy it takes to hang on to a grudge or some resentment or anger.  It is all so abstract you see. Then one day I came across this little exercise which helped me realise the value of letting go.

If you are angry with someone and are having a tough time letting it go, then pick up any object in your hand. And label this as your “anger” or “grudge” or whatever emotion it is that you are experiencing. Then carry this object where ever you go. Do not put it down even for a single moment. Carry it to work, or the gym, take it with you when you go for a walk, run, when you play with your kids or go to the library or for that matter even the toilet. Do not put this object down at any moment. Hold on to it even when you go to sleep.

you can use beads to represent your "grudge"
you can use beads to represent your "grudge"
you can use pebbles to represent your "grudge" or carry a glass or whatever.
you can use pebbles to represent your "grudge" or carry a glass or whatever.
We end up carrying a load of "stuff" we have not resolved or let go of. Image courtesy- clipartof.com
We end up carrying a load of "stuff" we have not resolved or let go of. Image courtesy- clipartof.com
offer your mind, body, soul for cleaning. Image courtesy- clipartof.com
offer your mind, body, soul for cleaning. Image courtesy- clipartof.com
Clean out your mind everyday. remember to also give permission to your subconscious mind to do the same. Establish a connection with your subconscious mind. Image courtesy- clipartof.com
Clean out your mind everyday. remember to also give permission to your subconscious mind to do the same. Establish a connection with your subconscious mind. Image courtesy- clipartof.com


As you go through your day holding on to this object- whatever it is that you have chosen to represent the “grudge” or “sadness” or “hurt” no matter how small, you start to realize that it hampers your movements; even if it is a small marble or pebble you have chosen to carry around. One important thing to note is that at no point in time must you put it into your pocket or bag or purse and forget about it- you must physically carry it to realize how much energy it takes to remember to carry it and how it does not leave you free to do much else.

When you realize this, put down that object or discard it, throw it away and tell yourself that you no longer wish to carry it. Give your mind permission to let it go. Physically throwing that object into the dustbin while telling yourself I am throwing away this “grudge” I am carrying; you will most certainly experience a sense of relief when you do that. You realize that you are free; you don’t have anything to carry or hamper you.

You can also take a container of water, and drop in your beads or pebbles one by one and say -" am now dissolving all grudges and anger or fear, sadness whatever.

We often undermine the energy we lose or the way we stop the flow of energy when we “mentally” hold on to things or emotions that we must let go of. It is a mental burden we carry, no matter how small or petty, it takes away your energy. We are prone to “put that grudge away” in our pockets or purses and bags and forget about it.

You can do this exercise another way. Every time you feel angry or resentful or hurt and that emotion stays with you for a long time, pick up pebble or a bead or a marble, something small and put it in your pocket or bag. Then at the end of the day or the week see how many you have collected. If you do not have time to clear out your pockets or bags at the end of the day, or forget to do so, you will find that your collection of “grudges” increases and bead by bead, pebble by pebble or marble by marble your bag is getting heavier and your load is increasing steadily till you start to feel the “pain” of lugging it around.

We end up carrying “grudges” wherever we go without even realizing it. This, my friends is the dangerous part because your conscious mind forgets, but your subconscious mind does not. Your subconscious mind needs your permission to do anything and so it will wait until you tell it to let go. And slowly you start accumulating all the negative energy, accumulating “grudges” these then manifest as illness, or some kind or other problems like not finding the “love” of your life, or the finances you want. The pain you feel, the lump you develop, the failed romances or the lies and betrayals or lack of finances you experience is your subconscious mind telling you that it is still carrying the weight of those “things” you did not resolve or let go of. We have carried so many emotions and beliefs ever since we were born, without even realizing it. That explains why life seems to be a struggle. We are carrying a load we need to clear.

It is thus important that you do this letting go process everyday on a moment to moment basis or at the end of the day before you fall asleep.

Say a little prayer to the Universe or God and hand over your day with all your experiences and your mind and your soul for its daily cleansing. When you wake up in the morning Thank God for having cleansed your mind and your soul of all the grudges and other negative emotions, take a breath of fresh air-and start a new day on a new note.

When you make a habit of letting go- you find more happy and good stuff arriving in your life, the important thing is not to attach to that either because getting attached to that will again stop the flow of energy.

Experience it, give thanks and let it go- that way you remain in the flow always.

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    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 7 years ago from India

      Hi kimh039,

      Thank u for stopping by, and leaving your feedback.

      I hope your friend realizes that it is not worth carrying guilt for someone else's actions, and unless she lets it go, she will not be able to heal from the trauma.

    • kimh039 profile image

      Kim Harris 7 years ago

      nice vibhavari. i worked with someone who literally wouldn't let go of her guilt over a boyfriend who committed suicide after she broke up with him. She carried a picture of him in her wallet as a reminder. I asked if i could hold her guilt and her picture for her for awhile, but she couldn't let it go. very sad. Thanks for the reminder too! I love your illustrations:)

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 7 years ago from India

      Hi Cracknutcase,

      Thank you for leaving your feedback. I'm glad you liked this hub.

    • Cracknutcase profile image

      Cracknutcase 7 years ago from India,bangalore

      Great hub Vibhavi..! If everyone would follow this then world would be a better place to live in with less violence and more peace...

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 8 years ago from India

      Thank you GmaGoldie..

    • GmaGoldie profile image

      Kelly Kline Burnett 8 years ago from Madison, Wisconsin

      Everyone should read this Hub! Letting go is the real battle. Our own emotions enslave us. My Mother believed heaven and hell are both on earth - it is what we make of this life - we have the ability to create positive things or hateful things.

      Wonderful Hub!

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 8 years ago from India

      Hi creativemsh,

      I saw your link and it is quite disturbing to see all those pictures. It is time we stopped war, let go and erase all memories of it. Just put out thoughts of forgiveness, peace and love, if you start feeling peaceful inside, it is worth the effort.

    • profile image

      creativemsh 8 years ago

      NICE

      SEEN THIS LINK

      Israel vs Hitler, http://hubpages.com/t/13a5c5

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