Unfit and Unmotivated: Exercise Classes For the Rest of Us

Updated on May 4, 2018
FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway is an Industrial/Organizational psychologist committed to uplifting and educating others to be reach their full potential.

Double Chin Syndrome: Key Symptom of an Exercise Allergy

If you suffer from the dreaded double chin, take comfort in knowing YOU ARE NOT ALONE. It's a major symptom of exercise allergy. Don't fret.  Exercise is over-rated anyhow.
If you suffer from the dreaded double chin, take comfort in knowing YOU ARE NOT ALONE. It's a major symptom of exercise allergy. Don't fret. Exercise is over-rated anyhow. | Source

Exercise Ain't for Everyone

I don't feel the least bit guilty about this confession, although perhaps I should. So I'm gonna give it to you straight up.

I've tried exercising. Really I have. But I freaking hate it. Yep, I fear I am allergic.

I don't like sweating and all that unnecessary movement. I'd much rather nap or watch tv. And the only time you'd catch me running is if someone were chasing me. Even then, there would be a fifty-fifty chance I'd just lay down and play dead.

Yeah, I know exercise is good for the body and soul, but so is chocolate. At least that's what I tell myself.

Truth is, exercise ain't for everyone. Maybe the gyms need to cater more to the masses—to those of us who are unfit and unmotivated.

You know who you are. When someone says, "You have food on your chin," you ask "Which one?" then you slide the napkin all the way down your neck. (High five here, buddy—one for each of those chins!)

Aww, Now! Don't Let a Double Chin Get You Down

Double chins can happen to anyone, especially when you're taking a photo from an upward angle.  What cruel person would do that?  Take the photo from above.
Double chins can happen to anyone, especially when you're taking a photo from an upward angle. What cruel person would do that? Take the photo from above. | Source

Reader Poll

Do you suffer from exercise allergy?

See results

Creative Fitness Classes for the Unfit and Unmotivated

Who really needs Zumba and step aerobics classes anyway? Instead, the gyms should offer classes that appeal to the softies, thick-waisted, and exercise-allergic among us.

Health clubs should design creative exercise classes for those of us with too much junk in the trunk and not enough giddyup to get it done. I have some ideas to help get us started if you're game.

Come on, softies and double-chinned darlings—let's unite!

Gangsta Yoga: Let's Brawl, Y'all

Dawg, gather yo homies and let's mix it up.  Carry weight and look great.  Live that thug life!
Dawg, gather yo homies and let's mix it up. Carry weight and look great. Live that thug life! | Source

Gangsta Yoga: Rough Edges and Salty Language

Reluctantly, I took a class at the local YMCA recently, even though I know I have neither the patience nor the focus for this serious endeavor. I sat in the back of the room (obviously—where else?) and hoped to hide behind the freakishly Bendable People.

The instructor led the class through peaceful, meditative thoughts, and I dutifully held my hands together above my head in a prayer-like pose, hoping to somehow blend in. My mind, however, wandered far away. I imagined a much different kind of yoga—one with rough edges and salty language. I'm already practicing my hand signs and "popping my trunk" in eager anticipation.

Great bling!  Come show it off in gagsta yoga class.
Great bling! Come show it off in gagsta yoga class. | Source

My version of yoga wouldn't involve downward dogs, plank positions, or tree poses. Hell no, homies. If I had to sweat, I would go all gangsta and make the session worth all our while.

We'd sport dark shades and grillz, baggy britches and dollar sign necklaces. I'd demand that you call me "Gutta Gurl" while everyone else would be known as "Mutha," "Big Boy," or "Thug."

Word up. We'd make like we were packin' heat and practice mostly warrior poses, with some mugshot poses sprinkled in for good measure.

Dawg, we'd pop, lock, and drop it—and if we were lucky, we'd manage to get back up on our feet again. (We're unfit folks, remember?)

We'd mix it up with a good brawl, y'all, but that would mostly be just bravado and posturing. Before we turned our people back to the streets, our session would end with a reminder.

I'd holla out, "Yo—be cool! You don't want no trouble from this mutha. 'Cause what you do to others is gonna get done to you."

Click thumbnail to view full-size
Homie is a gangsta yoga master.  Look at that pose.This bad boy is down with gangsta yoga.  Are you?Load up on the bling like this before you go to gangsta exercise class.
Homie is a gangsta yoga master.  Look at that pose.
Homie is a gangsta yoga master. Look at that pose. | Source
This bad boy is down with gangsta yoga.  Are you?
This bad boy is down with gangsta yoga. Are you? | Source
Load up on the bling like this before you go to gangsta exercise class.
Load up on the bling like this before you go to gangsta exercise class. | Source

Wiggle, Wiggle, Wiggle: How Do You Fit All That In Them Jeans?

Frenemy Kickboxing: Kick 'Em, Punch 'Em, Then Hug It Out

If gangsta is not yo' style, then we can pimp you out in another exercise class that fits your personality better. For example, everyone has that one friend that well ... just isn't. She spreads rumors about you, breaks your confidences, and only pretends to be your friend. Let's get moving and put those toxic interpersonal dynamics to work for the both of you.

Harsh Words Are Just the Start: Grab a Frenemy and Work It Out

Click thumbnail to view full-size
Who would you rather be -- the pink lady or her punchy friend?  Someone means business."Your lipstick is smudged.  Let me wipe it for you."Come on!  Grab your favorite "sometimes friend" and get ready to go toe-to-toe in Frenemy Kickboxing. It's like therapy ... only there's less talking.After a punch to the face and a kick in the guts, in Frenemy Kickboxing you can hug it out.There's always room for a smile between frenemies.
Who would you rather be -- the pink lady or her punchy friend?  Someone means business.
Who would you rather be -- the pink lady or her punchy friend? Someone means business. | Source
"Your lipstick is smudged.  Let me wipe it for you."
"Your lipstick is smudged. Let me wipe it for you." | Source
Come on!  Grab your favorite "sometimes friend" and get ready to go toe-to-toe in Frenemy Kickboxing. It's like therapy ... only there's less talking.
Come on! Grab your favorite "sometimes friend" and get ready to go toe-to-toe in Frenemy Kickboxing. It's like therapy ... only there's less talking. | Source
After a punch to the face and a kick in the guts, in Frenemy Kickboxing you can hug it out.
After a punch to the face and a kick in the guts, in Frenemy Kickboxing you can hug it out. | Source
There's always room for a smile between frenemies.
There's always room for a smile between frenemies. | Source

Let's Tangle!

Grab your favorite fair-weathered friend—that frenemy who sings your praises out of one side of her snarled mouth then proceeds to talk trash about you out from the other. Woo-hoo! You're gonna kickbox each other's soft sides until you're fit.

You and your backbiting buddy will trade jabs that will make all those candy-coated smiles and backhanded compliments seem old-school and even fun. Fake friends know just where your sensitive spots are. They can land a low blow then pull you in close to hug it out. (Are we having fun yet?)

So go get your gloves on and practice that footwork. This is the type of exercise that will leave one of you begging for sweet, fat mercy.

Cat Lady Calisthenics: Do It You, Do It for the Cats

With all the demands that come with being a Cat Lady, it's hard to find the time to exercise.  But if you can't exercise for yourself, then do it for the cats.
With all the demands that come with being a Cat Lady, it's hard to find the time to exercise. But if you can't exercise for yourself, then do it for the cats. | Source

Calisthenics for Cat Ladies

What do you get when you combine fitness and a borderline obsession with feline friends? Calisthenics for Cat Ladies, of course! Can't you feel yourself purring already?

Between scooping litter boxes, feeding time, and playing with your feline divas, cat ladies lead such busy lives. (Hey, I feel your pain. I'm a cat lady, too!) No wonder there's such little time to attend to your own exercise needs. But it doesn't have to be that way.

Build Your Muscles: Lift Those Overgrown Orange Cats

If you grow 'em big at your house, learn to balance multiple cats with Calisthenics for Cat Ladies.  You'll look great, and your cats will thank you!
If you grow 'em big at your house, learn to balance multiple cats with Calisthenics for Cat Ladies. You'll look great, and your cats will thank you! | Source

Calisthenics for Cat Ladies will develop your muscles so you can hoist any of the following with no problem:

  • overgrown orange cats and tubby tabbies
  • large bags of Friskies dry food
  • 40 pound tubs of cat litter or
  • a humane cat trap with a feral kitty inside, eager for its spay/neuter.

This creative class has secondary benefits in that it will also get you out among other people—a species which we know ranks second at best on the Cat Lady social hierarchy. Take heart, however. Your cat lady classmates are a special breed of humans—those who love kitties as much as you do!

Meow, my friend! Me-ow!

Cat Dude: He's One In A Million

Men like cats, too.  They just hide it better.  Except this guy.  He's terrific at showinjg his feelings.  Don't you just want to hug him?
Men like cats, too. They just hide it better. Except this guy. He's terrific at showinjg his feelings. Don't you just want to hug him? | Source

Your Instructor

Because cat ladies (and the occasional cat dude) are such imaginative people, the instructor will be a special kind of storyteller who can appreciate the special feline-focus of our Cat Lady universe.

She'll lead the group with enthusiasm, like this:

Okay, Cat Ladies and Dudes, I see many of you have brought your kitty themed blankets, beach towels and workout clothes. Excellent. Some of you even have your faces painted with whiskers. Extra cute!

Now let's practice our warm up. Slowly march in place. We're "making biscuits" or "kneading dough" just like your Mr. Fluffers. Now s-t-r-e-t-c-h! Tail high up in the air. Paws way out in front of you. Remember, you've been asleep for h-o-u-r-s!

Stop what you're doing! Do you hear the can opener? Let's RUN for the food bowl!

Cats: Who Can Have Just One?

Who needs a blanket when you have friends?  Lots and lots of furry friends.
Who needs a blanket when you have friends? Lots and lots of furry friends. | Source

Using sit-ups and crunches, you'll practice contorting your body into uncomfortable positions. This will help you sleep better with multiple cats in your bed.

Also, there will be extended arm reaches for when you need to get Miss Kitty down from atop the refrigerator. Push-ups and extended arm reaches will prepare you for fetching Muffin from under the beds or behind the couch when it's time for her to go to the vet.

So what do you say, Cat Lady? Does it sound like a plan? If you can't do this for yourself, at least do it for your cats. They need you!

Are You Jiggly and Wiggly When You Walk?

Be kind. Does your cat REALLY need to see you naked?
Be kind. Does your cat REALLY need to see you naked? | Source

Do You Have An Exercise Allergy? Know the Symptoms

If you experience the following symptoms, you may suffer from an exercise allergy:

  • a puffy face, often with the illusion of a double chin
  • a chubby reflection in the mirror and difficulty recognizing yourself in photos
  • a distended belly or bloated backside
  • becoming easily winded upon rising from the couch
  • displaying lethargy and a marked preference for napping, watching tv, and surfing the internet
  • fondness of jogging/yoga pants—with no intent of working out and
  • a strong aversion to unnecessary movement and sweating.

If this is you, welcome to the club of the Exercise Allergic. I hope they get these "exercise classes for the rest of us" started soon.

Strange Stretching: Heroes In Action

Click thumbnail to view full-size
Celebrate your awkwardness with some strange stretching exercises!He must be part pretzel.
Celebrate your awkwardness with some strange stretching exercises!
Celebrate your awkwardness with some strange stretching exercises! | Source
He must be part pretzel.
He must be part pretzel. | Source

Awkward Aerobics

Sometimes the unfit and unmotivated find their passion. When they do, the results may be awkward.

Whether you run, cycle, or do something else, warm up using strange stretches you invent yourself. Let your imagination run wild! You can stretch nearly anywhere—a park bench, your car, the office. Be sure to take photos. It's important to document your hard work.

Many softies find that their stretching is so strenuous that actual exercise is not necessary afterward. Now that's intense!

More Strenuous Than It Looks

It may look like nothing special, but this pose requires such intense concentration and poise that exercise is not required afterwards.  Bravo!
It may look like nothing special, but this pose requires such intense concentration and poise that exercise is not required afterwards. Bravo! | Source

Everyone Looks Better in Yoga Pants

Spalding Women's Yoga Bootleg Pant, Ultra Navy, X-Large
Spalding Women's Yoga Bootleg Pant, Ultra Navy, X-Large

This is a staple of my wardrobe, and I have multiple pairs! They're dark, tight but not constrictive, versatile, and make me look like I've either just come from the gym or have plans to go there.

 

Go Forth And Exercise

My double-chinned, soft-sided, and jiggly friends, I know that creative exercise classes aren't the complete answer when you're dealing with an Exercise Allergy. Sweat is disgusting. And naps are next to nirvana. I totally understand both those things.

But I hope you've found an "alternative" class that inspires you. Perhaps the gyms can help out those of us who are unfit and unmotivated by designing fitness classes for the rest of us. Until then, I'll be in the back of that yoga class with my mind wandering far, far away.

Questions & Answers

    © 2014 FlourishAnyway

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      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 months ago from USA

        Margie - I think we're in the same exercise class or at least we meant to sign up for it. My daughter begs me to stop wearing yoga pants because the only yoga I get is sleep. Thanks for stopping by. Ain't no shame for the exercise allergic.

      • Margie Lynn profile image

        Southern Accents 

        4 months ago from the USA

        I see you wrote an article about my lack of exercise! Ha,ha! I have good intentions and never carry them through! I thought your article was going to tell me a easy way to exercise! You gave me some great giggles today!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        2 years ago from USA

        Rajan - I'm shamefully the proud owner of a gym quality treadmill and recumbent bike and my husband just inherited a Nordic track machine from a very fit uncle. None of this gets used but I have the best of intentions. Thanks for reading.

      • rajan jolly profile image

        Rajan Singh Jolly 

        2 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

        I'm exercising my stomach just laughing at these creative exercises. Seriously, I just need to shed off a few pounds at my middle. The most I can do these days is take a walk when I can.

        Very funny and enjoyable read.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        3 years ago from USA

        Catherine - Tomorrow always seems like a good day to start. That's what I always tell myself at least.

      • CatherineGiordano profile image

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        What a great hub and so funny. I just got my exercise or the day laughing. You do know that laughing gives you a full body workout. you have done us people of the lazybones brigade a great serviced.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        3 years ago from USA

        LaurieMaxson - I also believe in playing to what makes you a weird, wacky, unique individual, as that is your strength. Channel that awesomeness; someone will appreciate it.

      • LaurieMaxson profile image

        Laurie Maxson 

        3 years ago from AL

        Love your sense of humor! I so believe in getting creative and stepping away from the norm. As a personal development coach, I want people to have FUN and discover their uniqueness. There are so many ways for people to achieve what they want, they just need to get creative :)

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        3 years ago from USA

        vespawoolf - I recently braved my allergy at the YMCA by getting on the treadmill three times a week for four weeks in order to qualify for an ipad giveaway. I better win. That exercise business is hell. Thanks for reading.

      • vespawoolf profile image

        vespawoolf 

        3 years ago from Peru, South America

        What a hilarious, tongue-in-cheek view of the exercise allergic! My husband likes to lift weights but hates aerobics, which is what he needs. I don´t love exercise but do it because it´s good for me, although lately I´m beginning to think that I´m also allergic! Ha!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        3 years ago from USA

        ologsinquito - I do understand. I'm very on and off, mostly off. Thanks for stopping by. Hope you have a great week.

      • ologsinquito profile image

        ologsinquito 

        3 years ago from USA

        I'm looking this over again. Once again, I need to get serious about exercise.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        3 years ago from USA

        electronician - Thanks for stopping by! Have a great weekend!

      • electronician profile image

        Dean Walsh 

        3 years ago from Birmingham, England

        Lol, those orange kitties really do look like a workout to lift up!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        3 years ago from USA

        Audrey - So glad you enjoyed it!

      • AudreyHowitt profile image

        Audrey Howitt 

        3 years ago from California

        Oh you crack me up!! This was highlarious!!!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        mothersofallnations - That is such a kind compliment. Much appreciated. Have yourself a fantastic week.

      • mothersofnations profile image

        Mothers of Nations 

        4 years ago

        Very funny! I definitely enjoyed the article just for your humor! You have a great way of thinking outside the box :) Thank you for the laugh, certainly needed it! I look forward to reading more. God bless you...

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Rebecca - Glad you enjoyed it. I went out on my front porch this morning in my nightgown and lifted my three black cats for my morning exercise. Hope you get in your exercise, too.

      • rebeccamealey profile image

        Rebecca Mealey 

        4 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

        Cute hub on the light side, and what a great collection of photos to illustrate it!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Audrey - You may have just missed it. Thanks again for reading and sharing. Have a great rest of the weekend .

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        John - Muay Thai fighter! That is some serious stuff, John. A fitness instructor! Oh, no wonder they have you toting kettle bells and looking at YouTube videos. Yikes. I can only imagine.

      • vocalcoach profile image

        Audrey Hunt 

        4 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        I left a comment yesterday. I don't see it. Did you get it by any chance? Thanks.

      • Jodah profile image

        John Hansen 

        4 years ago from Queensland Australia

        This was a very funny hub Flourish, but I'm sure many readers will relate and find it helpful. I have one son who is a Muay Thai fighter and another who is a fitness instructor so I can't escape exercising completely, especially when one bought me a set of kettle bell weights and downloaded a fitness program for me off you tube. He made me go through an ab workout and jog with him last week and I had an aching back and could barely move for the next two days. Oh well, I will do the exercise but at my own pace in future. Voted up useful and funny.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        vocalcoach - I'm so glad you and your family enjoyed this so much. I surely don't enjoy exercising, but my husband is a marathoner and does triathalons. My daughter also loves high energy exercising -- kayaking, rock climbing, etc. I am so out of place. Just this morning she did Zumba and he picked her up from class, coming about 10 minutes early and joining in with the class. Zumba would've been the end of me. Have a great Sunday!

      • vocalcoach profile image

        Audrey Hunt 

        4 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

        If I can stop laughing long enough to comment, I want to tell you how much I enjoyed your take on exercise. I read this to my family and they were on the floor (Not exercising - laughing.)

        Voted up, funny, awesome, interesting and will be sharing for sure. Thanks so much!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        PegCole - Yo girl, you and me, we go all Gangsta wit dem tata chips and dip in the back of that class. I'm not about to lift a leg if I'm not required to.

      • PegCole17 profile image

        Peg Cole 

        4 years ago from Dallas, Texas

        You make me laugh so hard my soft sides jiggle for hours after I read one of your fun exercise hubs. My idea of working out is lugging those heavy laden Walmart bags of potato chips and dip and ice cream from the shopping cart into the car and later into the house. The heaviest thing I lift is the 40 pound bag of kitty litter - but mostly I drag it to its final resting place in the well stocked pantry.

        I'm thinking of adding some of the Gangsta exercises into my ritual, though, after your inspiring hub. Picture me mean mugging you and making peace signs with one hand. (:

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Nadine - I'm glad you enjoyed this. How nice that you have a neighbor who holds you accountable for attending her yoga classes. You are probably extra stretchy because of it.

      • Nadine May profile image

        Nadine May 

        4 years ago from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

        I truly smiled at all the photos you have chosen for this funny hub. Loved the photos with the cats. I must admit I'm also not a very keen exercise freak. I do aim to take a walk each day, but only if the weather is perfect! My neighbor gives Yoga classes, so once a week so I do join her. If it was not for her being walking distance I probably also would have come up with an excuse not to attend but I rather read my book.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Jeannie - I totally agree. I do like that my local YMCA has a chunky chick teaching yoga. Admirable. The last 5 minutes consists of just laying down on the floor.

      • Jeannieinabottle profile image

        Jeannie InABottle 

        4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

        I want to do some of these exercises. They sound like way more fun than being yelled at by some instructor that looks like a toothpick. :-)

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Vicki - This is awful but I even have a nearly new treadmill, a recumbent bike and a tv/DVD set up to entertain me while I walk or ride but well ... it still cannot make me love exercise.

      • Victoria Lynn profile image

        Victoria Lynn 

        4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

        Exercise is tedious. I'm still looking for my inspiration. Why do I hate it so?? I can so relate to this hub. My best bet is lifting my fat cats! I do take ten-minute walks for my little dog since he doesn't need much. That's about all I can do right now. I use the heat for an excuse. In the winter, I'll use the cold. LOL!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Meg - Blame genetics, darn genetics. Luckily I have genetics to thank. If it weren't for that, I'd be as big as a house the way I live.

      • DreamerMeg profile image

        DreamerMeg 

        4 years ago from Northern Ireland

        Good fun hub and despite enjoying exercise, I still have a double chin and muffin tops!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        teaches12345 - Glad to help out. Consider it your exercise for the day if needed! Have a great holiday weekend.

      • teaches12345 profile image

        Dianna Mendez 

        4 years ago

        Oh how funny! I love your wit on this topic. I do exercise, not overly, but I can so relate to these thoughts. Thanks for the laughter today.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        thumbi7 - Glad you stopped by!

      • thumbi7 profile image

        JR Krishna 

        4 years ago from India

        Ha Ha Ha. This is so much fun. Thanks for sharing

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Cyndi10 - An old boyfriend once tried to convince me that sweat was just "glistening" but that didn't make it any better. Thanks for reading, voting, and commenting!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Trisha - I'm satisfied that I had provided exercise for the day in laughter. Have a great one, and thanks for sharing!

      • Cyndi10 profile image

        Cynthia B Turner 

        4 years ago from Georgia

        This was so much more fun that many types of exercise. I definitely identify with the sweat thing. That is not what I like to do. But the exercise is unavoidable because I do like the taste of most food and I have very little willpower.

        You found some fantastic pictures to go with your hub. I can just see the cat ladies picking up their happy, hefty kitties like weights.

        Well done and enjoyable. Voted up.

      • Trisha Roberts profile image

        Trisha Roberts 

        4 years ago from Rensselaer, New York

        Oh my god this is to funny not to share! lol This was completely just awesome. Thanks for the giggles.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Audrey - Glad you enjoyed this and that you can find the motivation to exercise. Have a great week.

      • AudreyHowitt profile image

        Audrey Howitt 

        4 years ago from California

        So funny! I have learned to like it because I feel better--but my first inclination is always to lie down and read and then nap!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Nell - I could help you out with a cat or two? Love your spirit. It's what's on the inside that counts anyhow. Thanks for reading, commenting, and sharing.

      • Nell Rose profile image

        Nell Rose 

        4 years ago from England

        LOL! I haven't got enough giddyup to get it done either! so darn funny! and yes I am totally with you on this one! in my head I am a world class athlete, er, well sitting in the chair thinking about it! love the cats exercises, now to go get a cat! I actually went swimming last week! ye gods! before, I could do length after length, now? about a width then drown! Haha! funny stuff! voted up and shared, nell

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Audrey who likes to walk - I do appreciate your kind kudos, girl! Have a great day!

      • brakel2 profile image

        Audrey Selig 

        4 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

        Hi Flourish. Your sense of humor keeps getting better, and you find topics for funny hubs. The cat lady was the best with the big cats hanging around. These are the kinds of hubs to read to perk up your spirits. Pinning. Blessings. Audrey who likes to walk.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Rajan - Glad you enjoyed this! Walking is about the best I do, too. Have a great Sunday, my friend.

      • rajan jolly profile image

        Rajan Singh Jolly 

        4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

        I was in splits reading this. Funny yet no less intriguing read. My most is just my daily walk and I certainly love to make the most of it.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Shyron - Napping and watching TV -- especially when done simultaneously -- are golden. Gotta enjoy the small stuff! Thanks for reading!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        TotalHealth - Now that's an idea!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        CMHypno - I'm finding that I am not alone! Walking is about all I do. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      • CMHypno profile image

        CMHypno 

        4 years ago from Other Side of the Sun

        Too funny FlourishAnyway! The gym is sooo boring! I keep fit by walking everywhere I can and housework. To my mind the body is there to feel good, so why punish it with all this 'no pain no gain' nonsense unless it is something you really enjoy. I know people who really love the gym and many, like me, who hate it - we live in a big world that can easily accommodate all shades of fitness ideas

      • TotalHealth profile image

        TotalHealth 

        4 years ago from Hermosa Beach, CA

        Funny! All that's missing from this creative narrative of alternative workouts is uniquely designed clothing attire. ; )

      • Shyron E Shenko profile image

        Shyron E Shenko 

        4 years ago from Texas

        Flourish, this was great, I use to go to the gym until I found a book about 30 years ago that I love, called Joyce L. Vederal, PH.D. The 12 Minute Total-Body Workout. I have been using this book until it is almost worn out. I also get exercise from lawn/yard work.

        But I also like to nap and watch TV. So I really love this wonderful hub.

        Have a blessed weekend.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Vellur - I often think if I keep telling myself certain things they will become true: "Chocolate is a wonder food." Yo, dog, see you in the Gangsta Yoga class!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Heidi - Yo, I hope your back and shoulder feel better, D.Dawg. You and yo homies have a great weekend and stay out of trouble.

      • Vellur profile image

        Nithya Venkat 

        4 years ago from Dubai

        I can totally relate to this hub, sometimes I wonder why chocolates are not healthy and pizzas good for health and many more ridiculous ideas. I think the Gangsta Yoga is awesome cool!! Well I sure wish I stick to my exercise routine! Great hub enjoyed reading! Voted up.

      • heidithorne profile image

        Heidi Thorne 

        4 years ago from Chicago Area

        Well, I'm one who's at the front of yoga class... although right now I'm not with a serious back & shoulder injury last week - ouch! Speaking of down dogs, those dogs of mine won't let me sit around for too long either.

        While I have a pretty active lifestyle, I did get some insight from a friend of mine who lost a bunch of weight by exercising less and eating better. She said that people can easily exercise themselves into getting fat. What??? What happens is that people can get so hungry from OVERexercising that they eat too much or improperly. Lesson? Everything in balance. Even too much exercise can be a bad thing.

        After my back and shoulder heal, I'm definitely down with some Gangsta Yoga. My yoga rapper name could be Down Dawgin. But then I'll have to shorten my name (like J. Lo and Diddy) to D.Dawg. For reals!

        Voted up and funny... of course!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Better Yourself - Thank you! I appreciate that kind bit of encouragement. With the time I should spend exercising, I will write perhaps another.

      • Better Yourself profile image

        Better Yourself 

        4 years ago from North Carolina

        Lol - from start to finish! My favorite hub of yours so far I think! Voted up :)

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Liz - If you've gotta exercise, dogs are a great way to do it. Thanks for stopping by! Have a terrific weekend!

      • epbooks profile image

        Elizabeth Parker 

        4 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

        Very fun post to read! I hate exercising. I do it, but only because the guilt of not doing it is immense! lol. I'm happy to have dogs, because they don't take no for an answer and when they want to walk, they nag me until we do!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Jo - That's a good one -- Poop Dogg. Glad you enjoyed it. Have a great week!

      • tobusiness profile image

        Jo Alexis-Hagues 

        4 years ago from Lincolnshire, U.K

        Well now... not so much Snoop Dogg, more Poop Dogg so I can get back to my hubs. :)

        Once again Flourish, you have me laughing my head off, clever and very nicely done.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Frank - Thanks for reading and commenting. Glad you enjoyed it, photos and all.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Suzanne - Now that's a good one!

      • Suzanne Day profile image

        Suzanne Day 

        4 years ago from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

        I am an awkward aerobics fan, as well as getting my exercise in bed....voted funny and up and plussed!

      • Frank Atanacio profile image

        Frank Atanacio 

        4 years ago from Shelton

        this was one of the best hubs I read today.. and it has to be the photos that just pulled it over the top Flourish I loved it...it was indeed a riot!!!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        ologsinquito - Thanks for voting and sharing. I struggle with the whole exercise thing but take comfort in knowing I am not alone.

      • ologsinquito profile image

        ologsinquito 

        4 years ago from USA

        I'm not thrilled with exercise either, but I push myself to take a walk every day when the weather is reasonably pleasant. Some people practically live to exercise. I've never understood that. Voted up, shared and more.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Sha - That cat lady class is going to be full! Thanks for reading n commenting. Have a great week.

      • bravewarrior profile image

        Shauna L Bowling 

        4 years ago from Central Florida

        Flourish this is a riot! I must say I'm guilty of the exercise allergy. Can't teach an old dog (or cat lady) new tricks and all that. I do clean the litter box several times a day and shoo one of my cats off the fridge, so I guess I'm getting some exercise, huh?

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Colleen - Thanks for reading and commenting!

      • Colleen Swan profile image

        Colleen Swan 

        4 years ago from County Durham

        Great read. I have just bought myself an elliptical exercise bike. shedding those extra pounds.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Linda - Thank you for the kind feedback. We'll look for you in class!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        travmaj - That's my kind of dog. There is an art to napping, and I bet your dog knows that.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        CyberShelley - Just one kitty? We'll work you up to three or four in no time! I love those orange cats, too. They have an attitude that is unlike any other cat's. Thanks for reading, commenting, and sharing. Have a great week!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Devika - Thanks for reading and commenting! Have a good weekend and enjoy your walk!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        MsDora - Oh, if only I had had the name of that doctor!

      • travmaj profile image

        travmaj 

        4 years ago from australia

        Cat Lady Calisthenics is definitely my style. Dog calisthenics would be great but my dog won't join me, prefers to snooze, so we do. This was hilarious and the laughter will be my exercise for this week. It shook me around beautifully.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 

        4 years ago from The Caribbean

        Hilarious and completely enjoyable! Years ago, my doctor prescribed NO GYM for me; it seemed that I'd get muscle sprain if I just missed a step. Years later, my doctor convinced me to walk, so I do--not often enough. Now I am ready to join your class; it's for honest people who really care about enjoying life, and pets and double anything. Thanks for a good read!

      • DDE profile image

        Devika Primić 

        4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

        I enjoy daily activities in keeping fit. Interesting about his topic. The double chin is always noticeable. I enjoy brisk walks. I enjoyed reading another superb hub from you. Voted up, interesting, useful and funny.

      • AliciaC profile image

        Linda Crampton 

        4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

        This is another very funny hub, Flourish! Calisthenics for Cat Ladies sounds like a very interesting form of exercise! Thanks for the entertainment.

      • CyberShelley profile image

        Shelley Watson 

        4 years ago

        This is great Flourish, you have such a marvelous talent for a tale. Personally fancy the cat calisthenics, I have a Burmese who keeps me busy, and I have a weakness for orange cats! Voted Up, across and pinning.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Rozalyn - Thanks for reading and commenting! Have a lazy day Sunday!

      • profile image

        Rozalyn Winters 

        4 years ago

        Another fantastic and funny hub!! Cat Lady Calisthenics looks like fun! :-)

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Rose - Glad you enjoyed this!

      • randomcreative profile image

        Rose Clearfield 

        4 years ago from Milwaukee, Wisconsin

        Your article put a smile on my face. Thank you! :)

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Faith Reaper - The Southern heat and humidity make it nearly impossible to exercise without becoming miserable. I hope you're able to get your treadmill! Thanks for reading and commenting.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        mylindaelliott - We could always design a dog version of aerobics but I think it would be too much like real exercise. Thanks for stopping by!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        grand old lady - That is too funny! The first time I heard that song I gasped and cracked up. Have a wiggle wiggle weekend!

      • Faith Reaper profile image

        Faith Reaper 

        4 years ago from southern USA

        Hahahaha ... Beyond funny, flourish! This is so hilarious and I enjoyed the laugh ... my exercise for the day LOL. I will walk, but the heat down south is up near 100 now and so humid, it is tough. Might need to invest in that treadmill. The video is off the charts hee hee.

        Voted up ++++ and away

        Okay, cat lady enjoy your calisthenics.

      • mylindaelliott profile image

        mylindaelliott 

        4 years ago from Louisiana

        That's my kind of exercise! Though I'll forgo the cats.

      • grand old lady profile image

        Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 

        4 years ago from Philippines

        I take this all very seriously, as I truly am a couch potato. Wondering how to incorporate dog calisthenics...maybe I should just buy a treadmill. Cesar Milan says it's good for people and/or dogs. The Wiggle Wiggle video seemed to have possibilities but I kept identifying with the old people walking past. Flourishanyway, you have a hard nut case with my butt. Love your hub, however.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Bill - Glad you enjoyed the read. Laughter can be aerobic.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Tori - If they can put fake scenery to the stationary bike, why not gangsta yoga? Thanks for reading and commenting!

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