Time Flies and Weight Rises
I am five years old, sitting in the passenger seat of my mom's green Falcon. It is a hot summer day. My hand hangs out the window, moving up and down with the wind current. I release a huge sigh.
My brother in the driver's seat glances over, "What the problem?"
"Christmas will never get here."
"Don't worry. As you get older time goes faster."
I stared at him. Although I sense an unusual sincerity behind his words, they made no sense to me. If I was in the car with my brother today, I would not have made the statement or I would have responded to him, "if time goes any faster, I am going to have to give up blinking. I mean, really...I blink and it's November, no wait, it's December.
But I am not in the car with my brother, I am standing in front of this store, and suddenly it is clear. Time is not going faster. It is the retailers. They are time thieves. Every year they steal a little more time. The evidence is right in of me. Halloween was last night. Today there are Christmas decorations everywhere I look.
I have visions of clerks waiting breathlessly for the strike of midnight. Then, while little kids, still wearing their Halloween costumes, lay tucked in their beds with belly aches and parents sit on their couches nibbling away leftover candies, the clerks whisk away all traces of costumes, witches and skulls, and candy in the store. As the Christmas decorations, toys and more candy fill the windows and aisle, the sound of Christmas music fills the air. I stand there listening intently and realize the verses are not about sled rides and going to see grandparents. Instead, I hear a joyful song about retailers' jingling bags--"Jingle bells, jingle bags, Jingle all the way to the bank,"
Now, that I think about it, these retailers do not have the courtesy to stop with November. They have stolen March too. Remember: Right after Valentine Day's extravaganza retailers change their theme to Easter. All those beautiful red heart-shaped boxes stuffed with chocolate are replaced with pastel colors and Easter baskets overflowing with candy.
We lose months as retailers try to push up from one commercialized month to another. They sweeten the deal by flooding our minds with images of chocolate and more chocolate: chocolate candies, stuffed with anything and everything -- chocolate rabbits, chocolate hearts, chocolate fruit, and the list goes on.
Whooa...I just realized why my weight keeps going up. My metabolism is not slowing down as I get older. No, it is the retailers again. They know about the endorphins chocolate releases to keep us happy and buying. So they maintain their constant display of chocolate to tempt us. Therefore, our weight rises. Every woman knows it is true. We look at candy or smell chocolate and our weight goes up. To add insult to injury, these retailers are in cahoots with the retailers' who sell weight-loss, abs-firming equipment for the summer months.
Enough I say. Retailers have gone too far. Give me back my time, keep the equipment, and I'll keep the chocolate. Have to keep those endorphins going somehow.
They Sweeten the Deal
© 2018 Kathy Burton