Things That I Would Say to "Roxie," My Rockette Wife
Time for Complete Honesty
my treasured friends and followers. I have been holding back yet another secret that if I had owned it years ago, might have caused me a lot of fiery rhetoric from friends and family. But being that we are now living in a more tolerant society, I can share this burden with you without fear of being judged or condemned although you would be well within your rights to do so.
For many years I have admired the Rockettes from afar and I mean that with all decency and respect. Not just any man or woman could bounce into Radio City Music Hall and although they are teeming with confidence, say, "Uh, hi. I want to be a Rockette. Where do I sign?" It don't work that way, Jim.
I cannot begin to put into laymen's terms just how hard it is to be a Rockette. There is more to being a Rockette than looking pretty (in every performance) and having perfect legs. No. And although these two things go a long way, but a woman has to be willing to work for endless hours practicing complex dance routines and executing them without a flaw for their countless fans in New York and around the world.
The Rockettes are
more than a famous, well-known, well-loved dance troupe. This group founded in 1925 in St. Louis, Missouri, and since 1932, they have performed at the Radio City Music Hall, Manhattan, New York City thrilling thousands upon thousands of people with their complex dance routines that spotlight classical ballet to modern dance. The Rockettes are without question, New York City's best public relations tool.
Just for a moment, allow me to tell you about our wedding. In my dream I am marrying "Roxie," the next-to-the lead Rockette and she is every bit the professional. From her always-perfectly-styled hair to her near-perfect legs, she not only looks the part of my bride, but defines the roles of both bride and Rockette.
Her matron of honor is "Bubbles" the lead Rockette and the remainder of the Rockettes are her bridesmaids. I have no best man or groomsmen due to me not being financially stable. Okay. Broke, to be honest, but with "Roxie" and myself, it was love at first kick. I yelled, "great legs," to her and she kicked me in the teeth. I knew right then that I had fallen in love with a true Rockette.
Our wedding guests read similar to a "Who's Who" of celebrities. Names such as David Letterman, former host of The Late Show on CBS; Bill Gates; Tina Fey and Chevy Chase to name a few. The wedding must have set "Roxie's" parents back a good $5,000.00 and to me, that was big bucks. All in all it was a gala affair that took a backseat to how lovely my bride, a Rockette looked in her specially-designed sailor costume just right for dancing. And there I stood in my obviously well-worn tux, but I was more proud of "Roxie" going to be my wife than if I had won The Nobel Peace Prize.
And being that (in hypothetical terms) I am blessed to be married to "Roxie," a Rockette, (wow, what a dream come true) these are the things that I would love to say to her.
and here we go . . .
"Wow! Teach me how to have perfect posture, darling."
- "You and five of your gorgeous girlfriends want to practice your latest dance moves in our home tonight? Sure, anything you say, baby. No Monday Night Football for me tonight, but who cares?"
- "Go get you a drink of water? Sure. I know that it's only 2 a.m. and I haven't had any sleep, but living and serving a real, true blue, living, breathing Rockette is more than perfect for me."
- "You have a back ache, and want to ride my back six blocks to the Radio City Music Hall? is that all, sweetie?"
- "Honey, I know that you are watching your pretty figure and I went took extra pains in preparing your dinner--a half portion of Japanese sushi, a slice of carrot and a half glass of pure spring water."
- "May I stay up most all night massaging your back? I am not the one who stands for hours dancing to make people happy."
- "Do I like being a stay-at-home husband? Is that what you asked me? Well, when a man has a wife who is a Rockette with a perfect figure and has dynamite looks, he realizes how blessed he really is."
- "Sure I will be glad to iron 67 of your girlfriends' costumes. It is not every man who is married to a real goddess."
- "After dinner, I thought that I would put on this new CD of nature sounds and turn down the lights so you can relax before you go to sleep and I will make sure that your neck is not tied in knots for no extra charge. Ha, ha."
- "Do I mean these things that I say to you each day? Sure I mean them. I love being the husband of a Rockette."
- "No, sweet lady. I do not mind going shoe shopping with you for a few pair of high heels. In fact, I will pay for them with the money you gave me yesterday for the delicious dinner of a half-portion of sushi that I made for you."
- "Would I mind bringing your packages into your dressing room with all of the other Rockettes? Seriously? What do you take for, a fool? You bet I will bring these 50 boxes into your dressing room and wait for you to try on every dress and pair of high heels and wait to take back what you do not like."
- "Sweetie, just look at this new device that I made just for you. What is it? It is a specially-made table for you to rest your pretty legs after a tough day of rehearsing."
- "Forget the specially-made table! May I caress your pretty legs for hours on end? I really don't mind."
- "Did I get the marketing done today? No, sweetie, I did not. I had to get the dry cleaning, pay bills and pick you up and I just didn't have time. Oh, I love how you curse me out when I am explaining things to you."
- "No, pretty girl, I do not mind taking you in my arms and carrying you to bed to keep your pretty legs from getting tired. I should have started this when we were first married. I can be so dumb at times."
- "Would I put your make-up on for you? Sure! Just give me time to get your dinner, a bite of sushi put in your plate and I will be right there."
- "No, I do not think that you are using me. What a question to ask."
- "Honey, I haven't told you this in days, but of all the 36 Rockettes, I believe that you have the prettiest legs of them all."
- "On our first year anniversary, I would love to marry you all over again."
Good night, New York City.
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© 2017 Kenneth Avery