You Know You Are Getting Old When…: Aging Facts and Jokes

Updated on January 11, 2018
CatherineGiordano profile image

Inspirational essays and articles, with a touch of humor, are a favorite topic for Ms. Giordano, a writer and public speaker.

We know when an ancient redwood is old because we can count the rings.
We know when an ancient redwood is old because we can count the rings. | Source

What Are the Statistics About the World’s Aging Population?

Statistics show us that the world’s population is aging. Getting old is not so bad considering the alternative, so let's take a humorous look at aging. But first a few statistics about aging.

The population of almost every country in the world is aging. The aging of the population is occurring due to increases in longevity and declining birth rates.

The country with the highest proportion of older per people (aged 65+) is Japan. The country with the lowest elderly population is United Arab Emirates.

Population 65+ in Various Countries (2016)

Country
% of population 65+
Japan
27
United Kingdom
18
Canada
17
United States
15
Australia
15
China
10
India
6
United Arab Emirates
1
Source: The World Bank (Population Aged 65 and Above by Country

Population 65+ in the United States (By Date)

Date
Number of People Age 65+
Percent of People Age 65+
1950
12 million
8.1
2000
35 million
12.8
2010
40 million
13.3
2020
53 million
16.4
2050
80 million
20.4
Source. U. S. Census (65+ in the United States , Table 2.1)

How Old Are the Baby Boomers?

In the United States, we have a group known as the baby boomers, people born in the years immediately after World War II from 1946 to 1964. This group accounts for a little more than a third (35%) of the U.S. population. The oldest of the baby-boomers turned 65 in 2011.

What Is the Definition of “Old”?

You have probably heard the expression "You are only as old as you feel." Regardless, in the United States, 65 is the unofficial age of “old” since it is the age when people traditionally retire. (Since the age of receiving Social Security has gone up to 67, perhaps that will be the new official age of old.)

Demographers often divide the older population into three stages.

  • The “young old” are aged 65 to 74. This group is nicknamed the “go-go years.” People in this group tend to be active and often do a lot of traveling.
  • The “middle old” is aged 75 to 84. This group is sometimes called the “slow-go years.” People in this group have become less active.
  • The “old-old” group is aged 85 and older. This group is referred to as the "no-go years” because people in this age group are the least likely to be active. There are currently six million people in this age group and is the fastest growing age group.

In the developed world, people who are age 65 can expect to live on average for 18 more years. That’s a lot of years of being old.

Of course, age is just a number. Some people are physically and/or mentally younger than their years and some are older. So how can you tell when you are getting old? Allow me to help with the following lists of signs of old age.

You Might Be Old If You Remember ...

  • Penny candy
  • Candy cigarettes
  • Soda machines that dispensed glass bottles
  • Diners with tableside juke boxes
  • Metal ice cube trays with levers
  • Party line telephones
  • Telephone numbers with a word prefix (Butterfield 8)
  • Newsreels before the movie
  • 33 RPM records
  • Reel-to-reel tape recorders
  • Green stamps
  • Roller skate keys
  • Hula hoops
  • Washtub wringers
  • The Fuller Brush man
  • 35-cent a gallon gasoline
  • 15-cent McDonald hamburgers with 10-cent fries
  • 5-cent packs of baseball cards with that slab of pink bubblegum

You Know You Are Getting Old When… You Notice These Physical Changes.

Aging is accompanied by a lot of physical changes. It’s not fair.You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

You know you are getting old if …

  • It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
  • It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
  • It takes twice as long to look half as good.
  • Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
  • You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.
  • You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
  • Rocking in a rocking chair feels like a roller coaster ride.
  • Your knees buckle, and your belt won't.
  • You have that “morning after” feeling when you wake up, but you didn’t party the night before.

Your rocking chair feels like a roller coaster.
Your rocking chair feels like a roller coaster. | Source

You Know You Are Getting Old When… You Notice These Changes in Your Attitudes and Behaviors.

You might be getting old if you are now the age you used to think was old, but now it doesn’t seem so old anymore. People over 50 always think that old age is ten years older than they are now. There are some other attitude changes as well.

You know you are getting old if …

  • You have more patience, but actually it's just that you don't care anymore.
  • You confuse having a clear conscience with a bad memory.
  • You sing along with the elevator music.
  • You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
  • Work is a lot of fun, and fun is a lot of work.
  • You stop searching for the meaning of life to focus on searching for your car keys.
  • You speed on the highway so you can reach your destination before you forget where you’re going.

You Know You Are Getting Old When… You Notice These Changes in Other People.

Have you had this feeling when you look at the people you have known for a long time and you notice that they are looking old—how did they get older when I haven’t gotten any older?

You know you are getting old if …

  • People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
  • Your children begin to look middle aged.
  • Your friends marry and divorce instead of “make-out” and “break up.”
  • Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
  • The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
  • The president is younger than you. So are your doctors.
  • You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

You Know You Are Getting Old When… You Notice These Changes in Your Social Llife.

You know you are getting old if you look back on the times you partied all night and still got up and went to work the next morning and you wonder how you ever did it. Old age brings a lot of changes to your social life.

You know you are getting old if …

  • Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
  • When you go out your energy runs out before your money does.
  • You look forward to a dull evening.
  • You get two invitations to go out on the same night, and you pick the one that gets you home the earliest.
  • Happy hour is a nap.
  • You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
  • You’re the one calling the police because those kids next door are having a loud party.

Happy hour is a nap.
Happy hour is a nap. | Source

You Know You Are Getting Old When… You Notice These Changes in Your Sex Life.

Of course, geriatric sex is nothing like the sex of your youth. But it can still be great sex. (Check out this award-winning book, Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex if you don't believe it.) Don't let these stupid jokes make you feel otherwise.

You know you are getting old if …

  • You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
  • You turn out the lights for economic, rather than romantic, reasons.
  • Getting lucky means you found your car in the parking lot.
  • The twinkle in your eye is only a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
  • Your wild oats have turned into bran flakes.

You Know You Are Getting Old When… You Notice You Don’t Understand What Your Grandkids Are Talking About.

You might be getting old if it seems like your grand kids are talking a foreign language and words don’t mean what they used to mean anymore.

You know you are getting old if …

  • You think a "vine" is something that grows in the garden.
  • You think “hooking up” is a knitting technique.
  • You think being "gay" means being happy.

And Finally, You Know You Are Getting Old When ...

... the candles on your birthday cake cost more than the cake.

The birthday cake has a lot of candles, even when each candle represents a decade. instead of a year.
The birthday cake has a lot of candles, even when each candle represents a decade. instead of a year. | Source

Questions & Answers

    © 2015 Catherine Giordano

    I welcome your comments. Are you old? How do you know?

      0 of 8192 characters used
      Post Comment

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        8 weeks ago from Orlando Florida

        Good for you! Keep on laughing!

      • profile image

        nan 

        8 weeks ago

        i am 66 and i can out-walk most 20 year olds. i won't let a little thing like age slow me down! thanks for the laughs, i will share with the few people i know who are still alive! i am so old i still write "ha-ha" instead of LOL. I thought wtf meant wed, thu, fri. i could go on and on, but my 5-hour energy ran out 2 hours ago!

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        18 months ago from Orlando Florida

        Greensleeves Hubs: We all get old. We can't stop it, but we can laugh at it and keep our thinking young. We don't need Trump as president in order to feel young. Think about it--if you are not yet 65 most of the candidates for president in recent years were older than you. Hillary for instance was 69. John Kerry wa older than you when he ran. McCain too.

      • Greensleeves Hubs profile image

        Greensleeves Hubs 

        18 months ago from Essex, UK

        Thanks for a funny article Catherine. I did not recognise many of the one-liners, even though I once wrote a quotation hub on a similar topic - it just goes to show how many elements there are to getting older. It seems old age turns us into an entirely different species!

        As someone who is too rapidly approaching that 'old age is 65' definition, it is all rather depressing for me, though I do take heart from the suggestion that being old is when 'the president is younger than you are.' At last I've found a reason to celebrate the election of Mr Trump! - may he remain president for the next 20 years. That will mean that I remain young for 20 more years :) Alun

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        2 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Helga Silva: The senior years can be the best years of one's life. Thanks for your comment.

      • Helga Silva profile image

        Helga Silva 

        2 years ago from USA

        Very nice hub and really funny. I don't mind getting old, there is a beauty about all stages in our life.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Rueben Blanca Espana: It was so nice of you to let me know that you liked my jokes and remarks about getting. Thanks.

      • profile image

        Ruben Blanca Espana 

        3 years ago

        True and funny. Interesting.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Chriswillman90: I'm so glad my hub got you laughing. Thanks for commenting.

      • Chriswillman90 profile image

        Krzysztof Willman 

        3 years ago from Parlin, New Jersey

        This is so funny, well done, and everybody should be reading this because age doesn't have to define you. It's okay to poke fun at yourself because life is short and shouldn't be taken so seriously all the time.

        As far as feeling old, I feel really old when I name a well known movie or person (in my generation) and someone younger than me is completely clueless about it.

      • Stephanie Henkel profile image

        Stephanie Henkel 

        3 years ago from USA

        I've tried to fight it, but to no avail...I know I'm old because I remember everything on your list! The funny thing is that my friends look so much older than I do! Thanks for the laugh. It is a fun read!

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Thelma Alberts: Today I am feeling glad about being old because of comments like yours. I wouldn't have written this if I wasn't old and then I wouldn't have gotten all these nice comments and shares. Stay in good health and you can be in the "young-old" category when you are 105. .

      • Thelma Alberts profile image

        Thelma Alberts 

        3 years ago from Germany

        Thanks for making me laugh today. I still need a decade to be officially "young old". LOL! I have already some signs but I fight against them;-))) Sharing this awesome funny hub in my fb account. Voted up and more. Take care Catherine.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        fpherj48: You have made my day with your comment. I love what you said "After 40 time stands still." It does. I look at the kids I know and think, "How did they get so much older when I haven't gotten any older." LOL. Thanks so much for your enthusiastic sharing. I'm glad I gave you a laugh today.

      • fpherj48 profile image

        Paula 

        3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

        Catherine.....I absolutely LOVE this. It's hilarious and oh-so-true! The very best thing about this is....if we can laugh at it all and accept the inevitable with grace.....the truth is we're Young-at-heart. Hang on tight and don't change a thing.

        I've memorized the mantra, "60+ is the new 40+".....and I've added a little twist to that. "After 40+ TIME STANDS STILL. I believe we all deserve our own fantasy...LOL....Thanks for the chuckle. Up FUNNY shared pinned Tweeted.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Mary615: What can we do about aging except laugh. Laughing keeps you young, and now that you mention it so does HubPages. It is good exercise for the brain and lots of social interaction via comments. Plus I think of HP as my legacy. Maybe people will still be reading my stuff after I am gone. Congrats on the great grandkids. thanks for the comment, praise, and share. There is no grater compliment than a share to your own social media.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        bedigiulio: The compensation of getting old--wisdom. You would probably like my hub "Embracing My Inner Crone." It's about a woman, but you can probably relate. Thank you for commenting.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        rebeccamealey: Do you remember red wax lips. Thanks for the comment. A trip down memory lane is always fun. I hope it made you smile. I try to smile a lot to counteract the tendency of the lips to turn downward with age. Did your mother ever say, "don't make faces or your face will get stuck like that." Maybe my face can get stuck with a smile.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Paul Kuehn: Thank you so very much for your comment, praise and share. What can we do about aging except laugh? I'm glad I made you laugh.

      • mary615 profile image

        Mary Hyatt 

        3 years ago from Florida

        I call Florida "God's waiting room"! This was such a fun read, and I can certainly identify with everything you wrote. I am expecting two new Great Grandchildren just any day, so that should tell you I am older than God!!

        I don't mind getting older, though, as long as everything works!

        I credit HubPages and my Min. Schnauzer for keeping me young and alert!

        Thanks for the wonderful chuckle today.

        Voted this UP , shared here and on Google+

      • bdegiulio profile image

        Bill De Giulio 

        3 years ago from Massachusetts

        Hi Catherine. Great hub, very funny and also very accurate. As a mid-fifty something this one hit home. Sadly I remember most of the things in the list. But, on the bright side I am not only older but perhaps a little wiser. Have a great holiday.

      • rebeccamealey profile image

        Rebecca Mealey 

        3 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

        Very good hub, combining humor with facts! I love the box of things remembered. I'd forgotten about candy cigarettes.

      • Paul Kuehn profile image

        Paul Richard Kuehn 

        3 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand

        This is an awesome hub and I thank you for pointing it out to me. I like the humorous approach and I couldn't stop laughing. I guess I was too serious in my related hub. Yeah, I haven't noticed how I am physically aging until I start looking at earlier pictures of myself and pictures of my classmates as they look today. Voted up and sharing with HP followers.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Thanks DzyMsLizzy. I wish I had thought of "recycled teenager." Age is just a state of mind. And it is a fact that laugher adds years to your life and life to your years. So keep laughing and let's celebrate our 100th birthdays together.

      • DzyMsLizzy profile image

        Liz Elias 

        3 years ago from Oakley, CA

        Hahaha! This was great, and boy, can I relate! (See--when I make rhymes, it's by accident and not design. LOL)

        I'm a baby-boomer in the "young-old" category, according to your chart. I remember vividly most of the things in your sidebar list, except I wasn't paying any attention to the price of gas in my young years, and my mother's washer wasn't a wringer type--though there was an old-fashioned stand-alone wringer kicking around in the garage.

        I've always had the philosophy that "age is just a state of mind," and I've always been pretty active and fun-loving. My husband is actually 9 years younger than I, but he's had more health problems, so physically, he's "older." He has a t-shirt that reads, "I'm not old: I'm a recycled teenager!"

        Voted up and funny.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        OK. Now I understand. Eavesdropping was great entertainment, back in the days of party lines. I was only a young child when my family had a party line.

      • Julie K Henderson profile image

        Julie K Henderson 

        3 years ago

        I'm told my dad and his brothers would listen to these girls talk to their boyfriends on the party line because they found it hilarious. My Grandma mentioned there was a lot of dramatic sighing in these conversations.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Thanks Julie K Henderson. It was not a good idea to be talking to your boyfriends on a party line. It was a 2-party line or 3-party line and that meant that three households share a telephone line. Those other parties could pick up the phone and hear your conversation. Just like the NSA today. Glad you enjoyed the hub.

      • Julie K Henderson profile image

        Julie K Henderson 

        3 years ago

        This is a fun, informative hub. I've heard my Grandma talk about the party lines they used to have, and how the neighbor girls spent a lot of time talking to boys on this line. Voted up.

      • Kristen Howe profile image

        Kristen Howe 

        3 years ago from Northeast Ohio

        Anytime Catherine. My pleasure. It made me smile.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Kristen Howe: I'm glad you enjoyed my humorous tidbits on aging. I laugh every time I reread this hub. What's really funny is people tell me "that one is me. That's what I doo, how I feel, etc." Thanks for your comment.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        lbrummer: Your comment was so great. You made me laugh. You are so right about what the biggest benefit of aging is. Thanks for your comment.

      • Kristen Howe profile image

        Kristen Howe 

        3 years ago from Northeast Ohio

        Catherine, this was a great hub with humorous tidbits about aging and the signs of it. It made me laugh and put a smile on my face. Voted up for funny!

      • lbrummer profile image

        Loraine Brummer 

        3 years ago from Hartington, Nebraska

        I love your article. What an eye opener. Up til now, I've been so proud of myself for becoming more patient with age. But, you've made me see that clearly what has happened is that I just don't care anymore. I find I no longer want to debate politics, religion, or anything else. My motto has become, "live and let live."

        When I was younger I feared what old age would bring, but now I'm liking the fact that aging isn't as scary as I had feared. There are even some pretty amazing perks. (I'd list them if I could be bothered.)

        Thanks for some good laughs and giggles, Catherine.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        tobusiness: If we are lucky, we get old--some sooner than others. Laughter keeps us young at heart and as many physical benefits also. I'm glad I could make you laugh today. Life is good. Enjoy.

      • tobusiness profile image

        Jo Alexis-Hagues 

        3 years ago from Lincolnshire, U.K

        This will resonate with many of us baby-boomers. I love the sense of fun that flows through this awesome hub. For me, time has become the enemy, life have gone into fast forward, and it definitely takes me twice as long to look half as good. :) And I'm not even officially old yet. A fun but informative read.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        PAINTDRIPS: I used the picture of the tree rings as metaphor for getting older, but I never thought of it the way your family does. It sounds like your family knows how to laugh about getting older. Your comment made me laugh.

      • PAINTDRIPS profile image

        Denise McGill 

        3 years ago from Fresno CA

        Maybe you should!! Around my family we always say we have gotten another ring around our trunk instead of saying we had another birthday... because we all tend to get a little wider in the girth each birthday anyway... the implication being if you cut us in half and counted the rings you would know our ages. haha.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Glad you enjoyed it PAITDRIPS. I laugh every time I see it again. maybe I should do a sequel. Thanks for the comment.

      • PAINTDRIPS profile image

        Denise McGill 

        3 years ago from Fresno CA

        So funny, thanks for the laugh. I resemble that way too much.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        I have to add one more thing to my list. This one is true. You know you're getting old when you have to subtract the current year from the year of your birth to make sure of your age because you can't believe how old you are.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        travmaj: Yes this old-age thing just sneaks up on us. The humor is the last to go. At least I hope so. But hey. Who's old? Not me. Not you either. Thanks for your comment.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Annuity Direct: It's is so nice of you to let me know that you found my hub fun. I had a few laughs myself as I wrote it. Thanks for reading and for your comment.

      • Annuity Direct profile image

        Anne Morrison 

        3 years ago

        Oh what a fun read! So many things you mentioned that I can relate to. Great hub and thanks!

      • travmaj profile image

        travmaj 

        3 years ago from australia

        I have to admit it - I identified with most of this, of course I'm still wondering how ageing happened to me! I swear no-one warned me, it just seemed to happen.

        No in an awful hurry to tick off the bucket list. Happy to say the humour remains intact and I had a fun time reading your lists and reminiscing - good to know I'm not alone. Thank you.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Thanks for your comment Mel: My phone number as a young teen was Astoria 8 followed by 4 numbers I no longer remember. When I dialed it, I dialed A-S-8 and then the last 4 numbers. The "Butterfield-8" I used as an example was the name of a novel by John O'Hara. If you knew that, it's another sign you might be old.

      • Mel Carriere profile image

        Mel Carriere 

        3 years ago from San Diego California

        I remembered all those things except the word prefix on the phone number. I'm not quite the Happy Days generation. Great hub!

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        cam8510: I'm glad I made you laugh because your comment made me laugh.

      • cam8510 profile image

        Chris Mills 

        3 years ago from Flagstaff, AZ

        Very funny and all too true. Thanks for the fun read. Now I need a nap.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Sunshine: If you are not old now, you will be one day. Thanks for letting me know that you fund these one-liners type jokes hilarious. I laughed as I wrote this.

      • Sunshine625 profile image

        Linda Bilyeu 

        3 years ago from Orlando, FL

        It's official...I'm old. Well, kind of...not totally! Hilarious hub! :)

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Thanks AliciaC. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

      • AliciaC profile image

        Linda Crampton 

        3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

        This is an interesting and very amusing hub, Catherine! Thank you for the entertainment.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        MsDora: Grateful is exactly the right feeling and it is my feeling too. But I'm glad we could share a laugh about the foibles of aging. Thank you for your comment.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 

        3 years ago from The Caribbean

        When my tech ability is not up to par, I feel old; other than that l feel privileged. Always I feel grateful especially when I can enjoy humor like you shared. Thanks!

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Susan: I'm glad you got a chuckle from reading this. It was fun to write. Thanks for ocomment.

      • Susan Hambidge profile image

        Susan Hambidge 

        3 years ago from Hertfordshire, England

        He he, I love a read that makes me chuckle! Thank you for this one.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Lady Lorelei: The population of the entire world and almost every nation has an increasing percentage of old people. It is due to people living longer and fewer children being born. I can't say specifically for Japan. The Japanese have always been a long-lived people, but I think the birth rate is down also.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        BlossomSB: Glad you enjoyed the jokes and found the statistics interesting. Thank you for commenting.

      • Lady Lorelei profile image

        Lorelei Cohen 

        3 years ago from Canada

        We are indeed an aging population. It is interesting to see the statistics related to age. I wonder if Japans high elderly population is because of their longevity vs ours?

      • BlossomSB profile image

        Bronwen Scott-Branagan 

        3 years ago from Victoria, Australia

        Great article. Love the jokes, too. Thanks for all the interesting research and statistics. Interesting.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        lawrence01: Thank you for the joke, the votes, and the share. Young guys can afford to be careless about health; older guys got to stay fit or die. Thanks for your inspirational comment.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Thanks, FlourshAnyway, for votes and shares. Ain't none of us getting any younger. The young'uns can see what is in their future.

      • FlourishAnyway profile image

        FlourishAnyway 

        3 years ago from USA

        I'm not there yet, but I'm getting there. Very cute hub! Voted up and more and sharing, G+.

      • lawrence01 profile image

        Lawrence Hebb 

        3 years ago from Hamilton, New Zealand

        You know you're getting old when your kids call the Fire Department and give them a 'heads up' before lighting the candles on your birthday cake!

        I work with a bunch of guys well into their seventies (and still wanting to work) they are more active and fitter than many of the thirty year olds we see on our buses...Something seriously wrong there!

        Loved this hub. Voted up and shared

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Yes, Bill, I thought you would get a kick out of this one. I'm glad you liked it.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Yes, Bill, I thought you would get a kick out of this one. I'm glad you liked it.

      • billybuc profile image

        Bill Holland 

        3 years ago from Olympia, WA

        How very nice of you to write a hub about me. LOL Thanks for the great laugh.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Thank you so much, Ann. I don't dye my hair either. It's streaked with silver. There are some advantages to being old, wisdom, senior discounts, and playing the "old lady" card. Once I stopped dyeing my hair, I noticed people go out of their way to help me. I say being grey-haired is the next best thing to being a big-busted blonde when it comes to getting men to do things for you. Thank you for your praise of my writing style.

      • annart profile image

        Ann Carr 

        3 years ago from SW England

        This is so true, Catherine! It's interesting that Britain is second on the list. I'm a baby boomer and it's a great group to belong to. Sadly, I remember too many 'old' things on your other list.

        Love the 'rocking chair feels like a roller coaster'!

        The other day my grandson asked me 'Why is your hair white?' I told him it was silver (I don't dye it)!

        However, there are some benefits - free bus passes and other discounts and definitely retirement. I love time with the grandchildren and they don't think I'm that old most of the time - my older granddaughter once called me 'wicked', the best compliment ever!

        Great hub, full of fascinating facts and fun jokes. Your style is eminently readable.

        Ann

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Jodah: I agree, you have to be really out of it to not know those last three. I think those would have stumped oldsters 10 years ago, however. thanks for your comment and vote.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        lambservant: I came across your first joke, but I had not heard the one about the older engaged couple registering for wedding gifts at the pharmacy. I laughed out loud at that one. Thanks.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Rochelle: I love your comment. It sounds exactly right. as yu get older, you spend a lot more time at the doctors. Thanks so much for yor comment.

      • Jodah profile image

        John Hansen 

        3 years ago from Queensland Australia

        Great hub Catherine, and hilarious but true :)

        I thought I was getting old until I read the last three....I know the meanings of "tweet, "hooking up" and "being gay"..so I'm ok, besides I have a few years to go before 65....so I feel better now. Voted up.

      • lambservant profile image

        Lori Colbo 

        3 years ago from Pacific Northwest

        These are great. One I heard the other day is You know you're getting old when you bend over to tie your shoe and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

        I heard a joke about a very elderly couple who were engaged to be married and registered for their wedding gifts at the local pharmacy. Thanks for the pick me up.

      • Rochelle Frank profile image

        Rochelle Frank 

        3 years ago from California Gold Country

        Some good lines here-- now how do we remember them?

        I met a man a couple of weeks ago that said that most of his social life was talking to other people in doctors' waiting rooms.

      • CatherineGiordano profile imageAUTHOR

        Catherine Giordano 

        3 years ago from Orlando Florida

        Hi PS: Thanks for your vote and share. So glad you liked my humor about aging. Thanks for the votes and shares. Did you know FL where you and I both live has the highest percent of people 65+ of all the states.

      • pstraubie48 profile image

        Patricia Scott 

        3 years ago from sunny Florida

        Just in case I had any doubt, you have cleared that up for me totally.

        Fun fun read!!!!

        Voted up++++ shared g+

        Angles are on the way to you this evening ps

      working

      This website uses cookies

      As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, letterpile.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

      For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://letterpile.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

      Show Details
      Necessary
      HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
      LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
      Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
      AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
      Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
      CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
      Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
      Features
      Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
      Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
      Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
      Marketing
      Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
      Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
      Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
      Statistics
      Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
      ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)