Have you ever been flashed by a guy?

Yes, these kind of things always seem to happen to me, I really don't know why. When I was about 24 I was working in a quiet Q8 petrol station set on a hill in a Kentish town called "Crowborough". Essentially this petrol station was "a shed on a hill", very small, and just me on the premises with no security cameras.

Fortunately Kent is pretty safe, and never one to be fearful of what "might happen", I was more than happy to work in said petrol station until anything up to 9.00pm at night. However, you can imagine my surprise when one afternoon I was happily minding my own business , along with my cute rescue lurcher "Kizzi", when a man who was a regular, walked into the petrol station and "flashed me". Strangely enough a couple of male members of staff had warned me that something about this guy was "weird" and to "be careful", but I never expected things to happen as they did.

This was a time when you were allowed to smoke in the workplace, and I was a smoker. Sitting behind the till and simply awaiting my next customer, I was not too surprised when this customer came into the site and loitered around for ten minutes before finally deciding to buy a chocolate bar. Polite as ever I served him, (despite his slightly weird staring eyes). It was only when I looked away and he hadn't left that I looked back over the counter, and realised he had whopped his willy / manhood on to the counter and clearly wanted a reaction, (although possibly not the one he got from me!)

Looking at his "member", I decided upon the "no real reaction" approach, and nonchanantly lit up a cigarette, stared casually out of the window, and told him to "put it away", (very calmly).

I did have other options, as I had realised there was a stanley knife right by my hand on a filing cabinet (for opening boxes). I shall leave it to your all too vivid imaginations as to what I could have done with this knife, and what crossed my mind. Luckily for him I restrained myself and went down the "lack of reaction route" that seemed to work.

A little bit surprised my "flasher" left, but didn't bank on the fact I immediately noted his number plate and called the Police.

Straight after I called the Police I called my female employer and said, "You aren't going to believe what has just happened to me". Struggling to restrain my laughter I explained the sequence of events, and once I finished the call I phoned another friend of mine to relay the same story. I wasn't traumatised, more amused than anything, and found the whole incident typical of my life in terms of craziness.

Whilst awaiting the arrival of the Police I carried on dutifully serving my customers, but then, you can imagine my surprise when the very same flasher returned, walked into the petrol station, and asked me if there was "any chance of a kiss", to which I said no as I was engaged. He then left (again), and I double-checked his numberplate as he drove away.

Shortly after the Police arrived in the form of a Police Woman. I told her this man had been back since I called them, and then had to try to keep a straight face whilst in between customers the nice lady Police Officer asked me such wonderful questions as " was it erect, or was it droopy?". I defy anyone not to smirk at least slightly at that question. I answered honestly that I hadn't looked that closely and told her the whole "lighting up the cigarette and staring out of the window" saga.

Eventually all statements taken the officer left. I was completely not traumatised, only amused, but thought little of it, nor did I expect it to come to much until a couple of months later when the Police phoned me up.

Apparently this guy had totally admitted to the offence, and it turned out he was married with two children. He had been fined £300 and bound over to keep the peace for two years. No-one could have been more surprised than me that he had admitted to this, as it was totally my word against his (unless he had prior form I didn't know about). Yes, I was really pleased he was found guilty, but shocked that he had admitted to the offence, and horrified he was married with kids. I suppose it was odd that as the apparent "victim" I was never given any compensation, so I assume that only the government benefited financially from my experience

This is not totally the end of the story however, because about six months later I was working for a different petrol station chain, and this same guy AND his wife came in to pay for their petrol. Needless to say you have never seen a cashier exit a till quicker than I did, as I dashed out to the back office and grabbed a male colleague to go and serve this couple, with a promise to explain why afterwards, (which I did). I just didn't want the weirdo knowing where I worked after he had been successfully prosecuted for flashing at me, after all, you can never be too careful, and even the Wife could have been potentially vindictive, who knows! Best not to take any chances!