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Hiking? Easy Ways to Defend Yourself Against Bears and Snakes

Kenneth, born and raised in the South, resides in Hamilton, Alabama. He enjoys sharing his unique perspectives on life through his writing.

This Introduction Should

be read with the ever presence of common sense mixed with a dollop of humor. Even these Green philosophers: Epicurus (c. 341-270 BCE); Anaxagoras (c. 500-428 BCE); Pythagoras (c. 570-495 BCE); Heraclitus (c. 535-475 BCE) and Democritus (c. 460-370 BCE), men of higher-level thinking, all agree that a life lived "only" from a serious standpoint and never experiencing humor is not life at all, but a cold, lifeless prison.

I have thought of this one credo several times and I cannot find one flaw in its stance for a well-balanced life of both serious and humorous events. And this hub you are (hopefully) about to enjoy, can easily fall in this viewpoint of being well-balanced. Note: to those families and fans of all American diplomats, I should tell you that being well-balanced is the key to true diplomacy--too serious, and the negotiations break down for lack of just maybe a few laughs and too much laughter can only lead to the diplomacy being joined by a gang of circus clowns.


This grizzly may be  beautiful, but he/she IS very Dangerous.

This grizzly may be beautiful, but he/she IS very Dangerous.

But now, There Comes

a time when a thing called "Overlooked Wisdom" can come into play with one least expects it. No use going any further, when one is out hiking in and near a wooded area, and maybe the hiker just wants to enjoy some "me time" so the presence of my solo nouns certainly have their place.

If only I could write a few sentences about human life right here. What a great time we'd have. But that would only prolong the "Overlooked Wisdom" that I am sure you can use, if you first learn all that you can from "this" magnetic ideology as it pertains to something really being powerful and useful and a system of tips and designed advice that is useful to save your life.


Even Snakes

you ask? Sure, I would agree. After all, it is "life" that I am talking about--the preserving of a person's life if they find themselves dog-tired and ready to take a long nap inside unfamiliar geographic locations such as (a) wooded area and the person can look to the following tips as a way to save their life without really being in a stark panic.


Always Travel Light -- if you are going to be hiking alone. Only take the "necessary." Too many things can tire you down and just get into the way. Why am I disciplining you to "only" travel light? Easy answered, if you have took the time to study your location of choice where you will be going on this hike which in this case is a wooded area that is found directly in sight of a big city and when you have a big city you automatically know of gangs of hoodlums who love to rob the innocent for personal gain --such as "fencing" the innocent person's valuables as to make a good stash of booty for the trouble.

Carry a Horse Hair Lariat -- along with your hiking equipment choices. You will see why in a moment. If you are going to build a campsite and sleep before going any further, take the time to unravel the horse hair lariat and put your sleeping bag inside a circular design that you have made and when you fall asleep and a rattlesnake winds itself toward you, the rattler will not cross the horse hair lariat for one reason: the horse hair in the lariat are coarse and will tickle the belly of the reptile and no self-respecting sake wants to be tickled before he eats . . .so the snake will retreat quickly.

Mannequins -- fully-dressed, are excellent for fooling a dangerous life-force found only in a thick wooded area. You simply lay the mannequin down beside you leaving a good three foot between you and the mannequin and if there is a hungry bear or even a rattlesnake, if you present the mannequin FIRST in the line of sight and you can smear the oil from a can of tuna fish thus further deceiving a bear or snake and then giving you time to run like the devil and possibly save your life.

Snake Trap -- is one of those great DIY Inventions that I know will work. If you are hiking and the temperature is falling (as you start) from a crisp 30 degrees and settles at a bitter 17 degrees as you make camp. This tip, I have to say, should have been on the market years ago. All it is is four to five Electric Blankets that are fused-together in a circular pattern around your campsite. The blankets run off of a portable generation (I don't live to get in legal trouble) and as the cold-blooded reptile makes his way to your sleeping bag where he thinks will be nice and toasty, he will suddenly find paradise as his belly hits the warm, silky material of the electric blankets and he will doze off almost instantly. Both you and the reptile-of-honor are kept warm and alive in the morning.

Hello, Mr. Bear -- is not yet ready for sale, but here is how it will work: the experienced camper/hiker will simply bring along about six, full-length mirrors that he/she will sleep behind or in his tent. Upon a hungry bear that will visit the hiker just out of animal curiosity and then he met with an image of himself in the mirror--each growl and bellow the bear makes will be made identically to what Mr. Bear comes from his mouth. Sometimes Mr. Bear gets frustrated and storms away leaving you safe from the bear and whatever animals might be lurking in the woods.

Mini-Electric Fence -- can work by using the same principle as the Western cattle ranchers who swear by those electric fences to keep their herds from escaping. I mean. No one really wants "bucks on the hoof," do they? The genius hiker will simply string his small-scale electric fence around his tent area and of course, he will leave a "Danger! Electric Fence in Use!" sign in plain sight to keep humans from being zapped, so with the bears not being able to read, they will fall prey to the small electric fence and be introduced to electric shocks that will drive them away from you.

Living Mannequins -- is based on another design (very different than the Mannequin at the top). With this mannequin, the owner can tape several hours of himself talking in a friendly tone or even sing with a guitar that the owner has learned to play. Just place the Living Mannequin near the campsite and with the help of a Motion Detection System, the mannequin will start a friendly chat with the bear, snake, puma or even what hobo's manage to barge into the camping area. The soft sounds of a man talking and the mannequin's jaws moving as well as his head, this will bring pure confusion to the intruder while the camper/hiker saws Z's.

This Last One is My Favorite . . .

The Iron Man Box -- is named after "Tony Stark" of Marvel's "Iron Man," played by Robert Downey. Even the colors of the box is designed with yellow, red, and white from Iron Man's suit. The box is made of steel and comes with heating or air conditioning--depending on the owner. All that the hiker need do is lay down and enjoy the soft, cuddly material that is inside of the box and is locked on the inside--where the hiker is safe from animal or even the most-dangerous criminally-minded human. The box, I must tell you, can be lifted, rolled, even smashed on the ground, but the box cannot be dented or come apart like a soda can. The material comes from the Space Shuttle and nothing short of the End of Human Age is able to harm the innocent hiker inside.

To be Honest

I do not look for all of these new items to hit the market. Some, maybe. This is just my own way to helping my friends on HubPages and those who are not yet members. And if you will look closely at these tips, I know of people with more-warmed imaginations who might just use these tips to help insure a safe and happy hiking adventure.

The only thing that I can say is: "Mr. Bear and Mr. Rattlesnake and all of your kind, the gauntlet has been tossed down."

May 26,, 2018_____________________________________________________



NOTE: this guy (or girl) and those in his/her family is DANGEROUS. Play it safe and you will come out alive.

NOTE: this guy (or girl) and those in his/her family is DANGEROUS. Play it safe and you will come out alive.

© 2018 Kenneth Avery

Comments

Kenneth Avery (author) from Hamilton, Alabama on June 04, 2018:

Hello, Larry -- it is so nice to meet you. And good for you being raised in the country. Oh, would you mind sharing some of YOUR Safety Tips for Bears and Snakes?

I would like to read them.

Please write soon.

Kenneth Avery (author) from Hamilton, Alabama on June 04, 2018:

Hi, Bronwen -- thank you for your sweet comment. I don't know. Some of these ideas just might be seen on TV and sold for $19.95, but cannot be sold in stores.

Please keep in touch with me.

Kenneth Avery (author) from Hamilton, Alabama on June 04, 2018:

JESSIC2 -- thank you so muchfor the plug. Oops, idea.

Write soon.

JESSIC2 on May 30, 2018:

Cheap freshwater fishing lures https://bit.ly/2IJGljd

Bronwen Scott-Branagan from Victoria, Australia on May 28, 2018:

A good fun read. Not sure I would like to try some of those inventive ideas!

Larry W Fish from Raleigh on May 28, 2018:

Thanks for the read, Kenneth. I grew up a country boy and know well about bears and snakes. I hope that people take your advice.