100+ Funny Inspirational Quotes and Sayings

Updated on November 17, 2019
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Cheeky Kid is a cybernaut who spends a lot of time browsing the web, grasping infinite information, and reveling in entertainment and fun.

Funny Inspirational Quotes and Sayings
Funny Inspirational Quotes and Sayings | Source

Are you craving for inspiration right now? At the same time, are you also looking for some humor? Well, you’ve come to the right place because you’ll find a huge collection of funny inspirational quotes and sayings here!

Nowadays, it’s never enough to be just inspiring. Everything should be hilarious as well. It’s a good thing we have a lot of resources when it comes to the funny stuff. Add these to some inspiring word scribbles and we’ve got a ton of rib-tickling inspirational quotes and sayings.

Be inspired, be humored—live a life that’s full of inspiriting laughter and smiles!

Humorous Words of Inspiration

  • A super computer might be able to beat you at chess, but there’s a good chance it will never beat you in boxing.
  • Always remember that you’re not weird. You’re limited edition!
  • Be a goal digger!
  • Be an irresistible cupcake in a world full of boring muffins.
  • Be kind, even on your bad days.

  • Be so good they can’t ignore you.
  • Being drunk around the clock is actually a hard feat. Well, if drinking was that simple and effortless, everyone would do it.
  • Don’t surround yourself with negativity. Surround yourself with food instead.
  • Eagles may be able to soar high, but chickens never get caught in airplane engines.
  • I learn from each and every mistake I make. That’s why I’m certain that I can repeat them exactly the next time I commit them.
  • If only life came with instructions. I bet it would be super easy!
  • If you don’t get yourself, then you must be extremely clever.
  • If you ever need money, always borrow it from a pessimist. They will never expect it back.
  • If you think you’re small and insignificant, then I dare you to try sleeping in a room with a mosquito.
  • I’m a happy-go-lucky ray of f*cking sunshine.
  • Money isn’t really important. Love is more important. Coincidentally, I love money too.
  • Money talks, bullsh*t walks.
  • Never half-ass things. Whole-ass everything!
  • Nothing is impossible. Even the word itself says “I’m possible!”
  • Round is a shape. Therefore, I’m in shape!
  • Should I put on my fancy pants or my smarty pants today?
  • Slowly inhale for 5 seconds, then exhale the bullsh*t.
  • Some days, I can’t help but find myself astounding. Other days, I foolishly search for my phone while I’m talking on it.
  • Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, the day becomes brighter and more beautiful.
  • Some people walk in the rain; others just get wet.
  • Studies suggest that laughing for 2 minutes has the same benefits as jogging for 20 minutes. Guess who’s hanging at the park now laughing at all the sweaty joggers?
  • There’s actually a way to hit your target at all times. Just call whatever you hit your target.
  • They say there’s a fine line between being a brilliant mastermind and being a lunatic. In my case, the line no longer exists.
  • When sh*t happens, turn it into fertilizer.
  • Whenever I'm sad, I do my best to stop being sad and decide to be awesome instead.
  • Whenever something goes haywire in your life, just yell “plot twist” and move on to the next chapter.
  • You don’t have to pray to God for a bike. Just steal one and confess your sins for absolution later.
  • You don't stop playing because you get old; you get old because you stop playing.
  • You may not be able to buy happiness with money, but at least you can use it to pay researchers to help you study and solve your problems.
  • You should learn how to laugh at yourself. After all, laughing at yourself is the first real laugh that will help you move on and grow up.

Never half-ass things. Whole-ass everything!
Never half-ass things. Whole-ass everything! | Source

Witty Inspirational Sayings

  • A clock can be broken, but it can still be correct two times in a day.
  • Always be happy; it drives people crazy.
  • Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
  • Do what other people don’t want to do today so that tomorrow you can do what other people can’t.
  • Don’t feel bad about being depressed. It’s just a defect in your chemistry, not your character.
  • Don’t steal an idea from just one person; that’s plagiarism. Always steal from many; that’s research.
  • Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
  • I am who I am, but not just yet.
  • I absolutely need to be rich and successful in the future because I love expensive things.
  • I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
  • If you refuse to do anything, then you’ll never make a mistake.
  • If you want to get sympathy, cry. But if you want to get results, hustle.
  • If you want what you have never had, you must do what you have never done.
  • If you're going through hell, just keep going.
  • If you’re on the right path, just keep going straight. There’s a chance that you’ll still get run over if you just stay in one place idle.
  • In order to be number one, you have to be odd.
  • It’s better to not speak a word and be thought of as a fool than to blurt out nonsense and remove all doubt.
  • It's not about how old you are; It's about how you are old.
  • It’s pretty much impracticable for anyone to make a fool out of you. Remember that only you can make a fool out of yourself.
  • Lesser men have done greater things.
  • Life may shut a door on you, but you can open it again as many times as you need. After all, this is just how doors work.
  • Make a wish in one hand, and take a sh*t in the other. See which one gets full first.
  • Make yesterday jealous by making today super impressive!
  • Never let a day pass by without laughter.
  • Shock all of your haters with success and bid them farewell with a smile on your face.
  • There’s a big chance that you’re in the wrong room if you’re the smartest one in the said room.
  • There’s no need for you to remember everything. Just tell the truth and you’ll never experience a memory lapse again.
  • They say motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing! That's why it’s recommended that you do it daily.
  • To err is human; to admit it, on the other hand, is superhuman.
  • We’re lucky because the future only comes one day at a time.
  • When nothing goes right, go left.
  • Who cares if a ship is safe in a harbor? That’s not what ships are for.
  • Why fix your brakes when you can just make your horn louder?
  • You will be dead for time infinity, so make your life worth it.

In order to be number one, you have to be odd.
In order to be number one, you have to be odd. | Source

Hilarious Expressions of Encouragement

  • A smile confuses an approaching frown.
  • Always be at the dance floor because that’s where opportunity dances with people.
  • Be very forgiving when it comes to your enemies. It annoys them so much!
  • Dear, you’re not just some ordinary glue. You’re glitter glue!
  • Even a garbage bin can catch steak from time to time.
  • Fame inevitably spawns haters. Quit now and you won't have to deal with this sh*t.
  • Get your sh*t together right now! It’s never too late for you.
  • If you think the world’s going to end today for you, you’re wrong because it’s already tomorrow in Australia.
  • If you study the rules like a professional, you’ll be able to break them like an artist sooner or later.
  • If you want to change your looks without any effort at all, just smile.
  • If you want your life to be gravy, then learn to mind your own biscuits at all times!
  • If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for like 7 years, you can believe in yourself for like 7 minutes.
  • If you’re going to live the next few years anyway, you might as well make the most out of them.
  • If you're smelling sh*t everywhere you go, maybe its time to check under your own shoe.
  • In this world, criticism and judgment are inevitable, so just follow your heart and do whatever you want.
  • It is highly recommended that you laugh as much as you can. It sure burns a ton of calories.
  • Laughter is the cheapest medicine.
  • May your enemies live long enough so they could witness your success.
  • Not being good at something is the first step towards being kind of good at something.
  • Remember that nothing you do is wrong if no one knows what you’re actually doing.
  • The best way to raise your spirits is to try to raise someone else’s spirits.
  • The elevator to success is out of commission. Use the stairs instead and take it one step at a time.
  • The first rule to living an easy life is to never sweat the small stuff. The second rule is to treat everything like they’re small stuff.
  • There’s no way you’re getting out of this life alive, so don’t take it too seriously.
  • This world needs more brilliant people with humility. There are so few of us left.
  • Try not to overwhelm yourself with worries and problems. Trust me, you’re going to die anyway.
  • Try not trip over what is behind you.
  • When life gives you lemons, find the person whose life has given them vodka. Mix both together and party like hell!
  • When life throws difficult challenges at you, don’t ask 'why me?', say 'try me!'
  • When life pushes you down, roll along the ground, relax, and look at the stars.
  • Winning isn't everything, but losing isn't anything.
  • Wonderful things are sure to come your way if you choose not to act like a miserable cow.
  • You don’t have to be too open-minded. We don’t want your brain to fall out.
  • Your plight today will be your joke-to-tell tomorrow.
  • You’re one big pile of glorious mess. Embrace what you are!

You're one big pile of glorious mess. Embrace what you are!
You're one big pile of glorious mess. Embrace what you are! | Source

Silly Maxims of Enlightenment

  • Accept who you are. Well, not unless you’re a serial killer.
  • Being an adult is just knowing how to google things up.
  • Don’t hold onto hatred. It’s like burning your house just to get rid of one pesky rat.
  • Don’t let your head get too big. It’ll break you neck.
  • Don’t worry about succeeding the first time. Well, not unless you’re skydiving.
  • Ever wondered why everything seems to get in your way and clash with you head-on? Well, you’re probably in the wrong lane.
  • Everyone should be thankful that I’m not addicted to drugs.
  • I don’t want to join the healthy living bandwagon because I don’t to feel stupid lying in the hospital dying of nothing someday.
  • It’s actually very easy to quit smoking. As someone who has done it hundreds of times, I’m kind of an expert on it already.
  • It’s not like money can’t purchase happiness. The one who said that probably didn’t know where to shop.
  • Haters just admire how everyone loves you irresistibly.
  • I don’t worry about money because I’ve got plenty to last me a lifetime if I die tomorrow.
  • I just saw some people exercising outside. They sure did motivate me to get up and close the windows.
  • It’s a given that life is hard. But, it’s even harder if you’re stupid.
  • It’s funny how nobody notices what you do until you don’t do it.
  • Living a healthy lifestyle is merely the slowest possible way to die.
  • Make it your goal to reach the ripe age of 100. It’s a known fact that very few people die beyond that point.
  • One of the most satisfying things in life is being able to do what people say you can’t do.
  • Pretending to be normal is boring. The real me is more awesome!
  • Someone told me that my mind lives in a fantasy world. Unbelievable, right? I almost fell off my dragon!
  • Sometimes, I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.
  • The sun is going to swallow the Earth in a few billions of years anyway, so don't sweat it.
  • The truth will definitely piss you off. But, it will also set you free.
  • There’s no way you’re going to be able to make everyone happy. I mean, you’re not a tub of chocolate ice cream.
  • They say good things take time. It’s probably the reason why I’m always late.
  • We exist to help other people. But then again, what the heck are the others here for?
  • When you’re on the road to success, don’t stop. Don’t let yourself be tempted by the numerous parking spaces.
  • While it’s true that hard work never killed anyone, why take the chance?
  • Who said I can’t cook? It’s clear you’ve never tasted my cereals yet.
  • You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?
  • You don’t need to be so humble because you’re not that awesome.
  • You don’t have to fear perfection because you’ll never reach it.
  • Your haters are the ones that think that you are better than them, so respect them.

While it's true that hard work never killed anyone, why take the chance?
While it's true that hard work never killed anyone, why take the chance? | Source

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