"It's only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart away." - lyrics by the BeeGees that I live by and strive to inculcate in life
Let’s talk about first world problems. If you have the time to be reading a blog post, then you definitely are a member of the first world. And since I have the time to be writing this blog post, we are in the boat sailing away into oblivion.
The following are some of them I’ve experienced myself/have seen others experience/know someone who has experienced them/ know someone who will definitely experience them in the future if they haven’t already In no particular order.
1. When the WiFi signal shows full bars but your video refuses to load.
2. When you have to wad through a sea of ads before you can read the words on that blog post
3. When it’s 12am and your internet cuts off and that when you remember that you had to recharge that account
4. When you are tired of your playlist, but also unmotivated to making a new one.
5. When there’s so much new music but you don’t have the TIME to check them out.
6. When you know you shouldn’t keep your phone near your when while sleeping but your phone is also your alarm.
7. When you are only halfway through the day and your battery is already at 10%.
8. When you’re bored out of your mind but you can’t be arsed to stop scrolling through your feed.
9. When your phone memory is filled with pictures and videos and you don’t even know what half of them are doing there.
10. When you forget to carry your power bank while traveling.
11. When makeup makes you bleed money but need it to slay DRAMATICALLY.
12. When you did not wake up like that but have to spend time to make others believe that you woke up like that.
13. When brands charge you a fortune for clothes that won’t even last a whole month.
14. When the charger cable is short, so you can’t turn on your other side.
15. When you want to PARTY but resulting noise complaints deter you from doing it in the comfort of your home.
16. When you have to sell a kidney to get the newest gadget because planned obsolescence is a thing even though no one is agreeing to it.
17. When your manicure only lasts a month because your nails do not understand that stunting their growth is beneficial to your wallet.
18. When your pressed nails make typing an extreme sport and no one is allowing your hands near their private bits.
19. When you have to buy 5 separate extension cords because the placement of power outlets is WRONG.
20. When you can’t find that one goddamn beautiful pen inside your backpack/purse/satchel/locker/pocket that you know you kept there.
21. When you run out of free space to doodle whilst attending that boring lecture for the attendance
22. When you go inside an establishment that mentions ‘Free WiFi’ but that WiFi does not work.
23. When you’ve cycled through those same apps that even refresh is not giving you anything fresh.
24. When it is four in the morning, and you are craving some tandoori chicken (or any other item you might want) but that tandoori place is an hour from your house and will not open for another six hours.
25. When you are binge-watching a series and ever new episode starts with ‘Until now...’.
26. When you are binge-watching and someone decides to call you.
27. When someone calls you even though the entire conversation would have fit in four texts. Five if we are being generous.
28. When you get threatened and blackmailed by your friends with spoilers to do their dirty, nasty work.
29. When you got so involved in that series/any other media that you consume that you almost failed your classes.
30. When you fall down the rabbit hole of YouTube so that when you emerge you have lost all sense of self.
31. When you share your mobile internet out of the goodness of your heart but by the end of the day you find out that you have exceeded your monthly limit, and it’s only the 4th.
32. When you woke up, and now it’s 8pm, and how the hell did that happen?
33. When you have watched a hundred health videos but to find that motivation to go for that walk is an Olympics' event that you spectacularly lost.
34. When you watched that film, and it’s three sequels, and now you don’t have the energy to attend classes.
35. When you buy all those beautiful groceries but can’t be arsed to make more than four meals.
36. When your coffee/tea stocks are always empty when you desperately need them.
37. When your parent suddenly hands you the phone, and now you’re making small talk with a relative you didn’t even know existed.
38. When you parent/ elderly figures in your life starts retelling that life story that you have already heard a dozen times over but have to keep on listening otherwise it’s RUDE.
39. When dust finds home in corners that you didn’t even know existed.
40. When you finally do the laundry and find that shirt that you were sure you lost and already brought a replacement for.
41. When you organize your wardrobe and have no recollection of buying half of its contents.
42. When organizing your wardrobe turns into an impromptu fashion show and now the day as already passed.
43. When there are receipts and more receipts in everywhere that can hold receipts.
44. When you pay for your bus ticket with loose change and the conductor gives you the stink eye, but you need to get rid of them before your house overfills with them.
45. When you’ve faced enough problems with people not having change, so now your wallet is extra plump not because you have more money but because you have notes and coins of every denomination that is used and available.
46. When you have to hand over your card to your friend because impulsive shopping.
47. When there is a designated drawer for half finished candles.
48. When minimalism sounds awesome in theory but impossible in practice because what if you need this photo frame even though all of your photos are digital.
49. When you are scrolling through social media and come across those delicious food videos that get you ravenous, but it’s 2.25 in the morning, and you can’t be arsed to get out of your blanket to do anything.
50. When you specifically search for food videos to satisfy your hunger because the only thing you have in your pantry is oats and there is no money for take out.
51. When the take-out places know you by name and order because you order from them at least four times a week.
52. When you have to post at least one picture on social media so that other people know that you are killing it.
53. When you finally prepared that particular food that you’ve been wanting to cook for forever, but now there’s all the dishes to do.
54. When your hair needs to be washed with mineral water otherwise it’s turns into the stereotypical witch mane, and you’re not even part of a coven (this is gender-neutral and applies to anyone who has more than one inch long hair).
55. When your face produces volcanoes (read: pimples) according to the phases of the moon, the Chinese calendar and relative humidity of the Sahara.
56. When shipment tracking is unreliable and only mentions when the package was received and when it was delivered.
57. When you go to the supermarket and return with ten other items that you didn’t need.
58. When you drink more soda/tea/coffee/juice/smoothie than actual plain water and your body has to tell you by getting constipated that you should DRINK MORE WATER.
59. When online shopping has become your Achilles heel.
60. When you have taken so many quizzes that now you know the exact type of bacteria that you were when the world started developing.
61. When new ideas dodge your every step but when you actually sit down to act on them, you don’t even know how to word.
62. When angst is all you can come up with when you are desperately trying to broaden your horizons and trying for fluff.
63. When a new ship joins your fleet with every new media that you consume.
64. When you reach the end of the fanfics for your OTP so you have to take a moment to reflect on your life so far and hope that a new one comes soon.
65. When you find new people to thirst after every week.
66. When internet discourse might as well be your livelihood because then all that time spent will amount to actual money you can use.
© 2021 Sanjana Mahanta