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Coronavirus: The Bizarre and Funny in the News

Author:

Author and columnist from Tennessee. An avid fan of amusing news items, I enjoy sharing the ones found in the media.

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Schools closed. Businesses closed. Blood banks closed. Social distancing. Self-isolation. Quarantines. Hoard shopping. Shortages of toilet paper, hand sanitizer and screening/surgical masks. By now all these things are familiar to each and every one of us. In the space of just a few weeks these situations have turned into an ordinary part of daily life, all thanks to coronavirus (or the Covid-19 virus, if you prefer). While data reveals the people most vulnerable to this disease are the elderly and those with compromised immune systems, we are reminded constantly it remains a lurking danger for everyone. It is a worldwide pandemic, we are told, one from which all of us are in immediate risk of catching and falling over dead.

It doesn't seem to make a difference that statistics show more people die every day in vehicular accidents or succumb annually from the flu. This is likely due to the way the media has handled it. By this, I mean the non-stop, unrelenting 24/7 news coverage. One cannot pick up a newspaper, turn on a television or tune into a radio station that we are not bombarded with a reminder from some public service announcement, disease expert or social commentator rattling on about coronavirus. While it may seem the most natural response for humans to be grateful when attention is allotted to any contagious disease, there comes a time when too much is simply too much - when all the dark and ominous talk just exacerbates anxieties and makes people feel helpless.

Taking statistics into consideration, I tend to feel the Coronavirus situation is not as dire as the media presents, but rather one in which the public has received (and is still receiving) a whopping dose of manufactured hysteria. Now you can disagree, and it may turn out I'm nothing but a cynic. However, chances are you're fed up with all the grimly serious daily, hourly, and in some cases, by-minute reminders of this virus, right? And you'd probably appreciate something to laugh at about now, yes? If so, look no further than the same news outlets that have contributed so ardently to the atmosphere of panic and dread. For it is here we find some very bizarre things, the kind that can make us laugh and forget, if just for a little while, how scared we're told we should be. So sit back and enjoy these amusing headlines provided by the same media and news folks who thrive on our trembling apprehension.

When Stephen King criticized the Trump Coronavirus Task Force with his eyes closed

For quite awhile now King has voiced profound antagonism toward Donald Trump. But this tweet showed how desperate he was to portray the President as a racist. Sorry, Mr. King of Horror, but you might want to acquaint yourself with a President's cabinet before making such an awkwardly stupid accusation.

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Spelling error

or just a humorous play on words in this headline?

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Some teachers and their priorities, huh?

At least a little honesty in this embarrassing story. Not that all teachers are more concerned with salaries and benefits than what is best kids, but obviously there are some who do.

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Very important reminder

because the last thing you want to worry about on a simple trip to the store is being charged with public indecency.

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An example of the new annoying normal

The Price Is Right may not matter to you, but I get this. My husband recently retired and he's a fan. And he, too, is agitated every time the show is intruded on, most especially when he's watched an episode all the way up to the Showcase Showdown part and bam! there's the Presidential Task Force coming on with yet another brief.

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With all those kids, you can be sure

this couple are downright experts on finding ways to pass the time!

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In case you don't have enough to worry about

don't you dare forget about those poor multi-legged darlings crawling around in your food pantry!

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Rubbing manly domes-

looks like it's not just for luck anymore!

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Dear gods forbid

Hollywood's rich and affluent lose their influence over us. If the day arrives when the opinions of ordinary working people are held in higher regard than a movie star, why the whole social structure might crumble and civilization sent reeling back into the Stone Age!

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A few headlines

which give an eye-opening view to the desperate ledge on which the panic-obsessed have brought themselves.

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You know that saying about karma being a b****?

This guy could have invented it.

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A reminder that there's always someone worse off

This poor man. Making me deeply grateful for my humble homemade goats milk and honey bars.

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I will end this by wishing everyone a very healthy, safe and happy day!

Aaand don't forget to wash those hands.

Comments

Mel Carriere from San Diego California on May 31, 2020:

You make some pretty amusing observations on the Coronavirus hype, which has certainly brought out the worst in all of us, and has polarized society into two camps, the maskers and the anti-maskers, who belittle and bully one another.

That said, I tend to disagree with the proposition that Covid-19 is not that big of a deal. We're sitting on 100,000 dead, and without the stay at home orders and face coverings (loosely enforced now), we would be looking at some exponential value of that number, perhaps 500,000, perhaps even more. I think the largely ridiculed fake-news scientists tried to get the powers that be to shut things down earlier. If we had listened, we would be over the hump and back to business as usual by now, like South Korea is. We ignored them at our peril, and here we are.

That said, the quarantine cannot go on forever. We need to look into things like contract tracing with more vigor, so that we can isolate the people who really need to be isolated, while the rest of us go about our business.

Entertaining article.

OLUSEGUN from NIGERIA on May 26, 2020:

Covid-19 has real impact on all aspects of humanity. Good work.

Nell Rose from England on May 14, 2020:

LOL! laughing so hard at the guy and the body wash! We have a similar type of shower gel over here that stinks too. It's call Lynx. Good to see humor at last.

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on April 27, 2020:

Nice to be able to see some humor with this pandemic and how people are coping. Ha!

Literarycreature from Argentina on April 10, 2020:

The one about teachers fearing school closings is the funniest. Here most of the highschool teachers work as little as possible when we are not living a global crisis, so you can imagine how much they are doing right now...

I should send them this article. Maybe they get worried and start to work for once.

John Hansen from Queensland Australia on March 26, 2020:

Thank you for this lighthearted look at how the world is acting during this virus, Beth. Man’s stupidity never ceases to amaze.

Raymond Philippe from The Netherlands on March 26, 2020:

what a surprisingly varied collection of "interesting pieces of information" about the corona virus. It sometimes seems that we are collectively losing our minds.