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Aunt Em's Whacky Advice for Getting Along with Non-Pet Lovers

How do you react when Michelle is a professional freelance writer who loves music, poetry, pets, and the arts. She is a techno-geek as well.

Hi! It's Aunt Em back with a vengeance from a long hiatus. I'm sure that getting by without my helpful counsel must have been no walk in the park.

To speak of walks, I have the perfect topic to start my latest advice column. Now, I love pets of every kind, but not everyone does.

Rather than wringing each others' necks, why not seek the help of your friendly neighbourhood advice guru? I promise that my rates are one of the lowest around. Do what I say, and I promise that you will become best friends with neighbours who do not have pets.

Aunt Em's Suggestions for Getting Along with Neighbors When You Have a Pet

1. Forgetting Pick Up Your pets poo

A sure way to get along with your neighbours when you have a pet is to forget to clear up after it eases itself.

You will find yourself becoming increasingly popular, especially among those who dislike pets.

Forget your pet's poo bags, and you will be the rising star of the I'm neighbourhood.

Get your pet to exercise in fitness areas for humans.

Everyone needs to keep fit these days. Why should our furry friends be any different?

2. Get Your Pet to Have A Raucous Conversation

The best way to forge quick bonds with your neighbours is to get your dogs to have conversations among themselves as well. Give them the freedom to chat whenever they wish. Your neighbours will be so happy that they will join in the conversation. In fact, this is the best way to involve them in any chat session. They respond to pet conversation very quickly.

3. Teach him to jump on your friends

Another effective way to get your neighbours to respond to you. Is to get your furkid to jump on them. If you want their attention, this is the best way to get it. The “oohs,” “ahs” and “ows” are gratifying to the ears.

This attempt to meet Friends works best When your pet's nails are long. It makes the positive reaction absolutely dramatic.

One way to hobnob with people in the neighbourhood is to let your furkids use these areas as well. A sign of your popularity will be that everyone will stare daggers.

While we are on the topic, why not let your pet cross paths with people trying to jog? With everyone tripping up over its leash, your furkid is sure to become well-known in town.

4. Teach him to jump on sofas

If you want to connect instantly with your neighbours, get your pet to jump on his or her sofa. Don't forget to tell your pet "no" or to substitute his action with something else – like a rigorous game of fetch.

5. Teach him to treat slippers as chew toys.

The fastest way to connect with your neighbours or other guests is to allow your dog to use the slippers to exercise their teeth. Where dogs are concerned, are adequate substitutes for dental chews.

A torn slipper Is a scientifically proven way to get anyone's attention. Surrounding folks, especially non-dog-lovers, are sure to notice the tatters and have a word with you. You are sure to form an instant relationship.

Ah, everyone loves a Shepherd. Parents all know how difficult it is to keep their children in line. It's easy to understand why they will appreciate a canine babysitter nudging and clawing at them once in a while.

To Increase the effectiveness of the herding process, let your pet shove the children around a bit. Any parent will appreciate a teacher who gives their children Much needed motivation. It is also a sure way to form an instant relationship with parents who do not like—dogs in the first place.

6. Teach him to hold your friend's refrigerator hostage.

Another foolproof way to get along with someone, particularly a non-pet lover, is to get your pet to sit in front of the refrigerator and hold it hostage. Note that your pet should not leave until your friend feeds it. Your friend will indeed become enchanted by its bizarre behaviour and speak to you immediately. Don't tell your pet "no" – and indeed, do give it treats.

7. Do let your pet create tunnels that lead to your neighbour's homes.

Some dogs, particularly terriers, love to dig. Give them some garden space. Why not let it make its way into your neighbour’s home so that they can become friends? This grand gesture of goodwill will surely not be missed.

In the end, the best way to form lasting friendships with others, especially non-pet owners is to have a pet. Their little quirks have a remarkable effect.