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A Cat Named Trick Is the Reincarnation of Richard Nixon

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J Scull occasionally writes about animals. Specially, those animals that are a little different from the rest. Of course, satire is big.

Read this story at your own risk. A metaphysically incorrect and completely askew account of a little soul that made it through myriad stages of existances to eventually become president of the country. Of course, only to be knocked down a couple of pegs to become a cute kitty. Warning: Read it and your life will never be the same.


A Soul Comes into Existance

Millions of years ago, in a parallel universe in which our laws of physics do not apply, a wonderful occurrence took place. Here, on the other side of the cosmos divide — where souls advance through reincarnation, rather than evolution — one particular soul came into existance in the body of an amoeba.

When it exactly happened, is unknown. Suffice it to say that after its creation, it endeavored to work its way through the hierarchy of beings in search of higher levels of existence. This with the approval of a universe, which in its infinite wisdom, realized the potential of the quiddity that lay within it.

After thousands of years of deaths and rebirths, in which it saw itself as a worm, a water beetle, even a tadpole, it came into existence as a female snake. This soul gained favor by guarding her eggs with extreme jealousy. It procreated with vigor within an ecosystem perpetually searching for balance.


From a Snake to a Saber Tooth Tiger

Upon its expiry, the soul of this courageous snake wondered through the void of the universe waiting for the right time and place to make a reappearance. Once the opportunity presented itself, it gained another physical body; perhaps a bird or some other reptilian. Throughout all this time, it never came back as a worm, fly or grasshopper. Undoubtedly this soul was destined for greatness.

As it meandered through the grayness of existence, it sometimes dropped to a slightly lower level being; albeit only temporarily. Always to bounce back stronger.

Millions of years after its initial creation, the little amoeba worked its way to becoming a fierce saber-tooth tiger. A gigantic male cat, with elongated canine teeth and herculean strength. A ferocious but regal predator feared by the hominid population that hunted small prey and gathered berries from the local trees.

This soul again garnered favor from providence as it demonstrated unselfish disregard for the impending extinction it faced. Understanding fate dictated his job to be one of the many predator gatekeepers that prevented the population of monkeys and other annoying species from becoming out of balance, this feline excelled in his labor.


Karma and Transmigration

Good karma can eventually earn any being a higher place in the stratum of future life and this predator had copious amounts of it. After its temporary demise, its soul again floated through the macrocosm of existence for a few millennia until landing amid a family of rhesus monkeys. This time again as a mother, it continued to accumulate karma. At this point in her life cycle, the eventual ascension to the highest form of existence was almost guaranteed.

Eventually, after a few more reincarnations through different species of simians, it found itself as one of the first homo sapiens in the African Savanna. Just a few million years earlier, it was nothing more than a little amoeba. At this time it finally acquired a human brain capable of great accomplishments.

Here he met his temporal death at the hands of an enemy. But his ironclad spirit had accomplished much in the millions of years it had wondered through the primordial ether. It was now well on his way to fulfilling his destiny.

Transmigration was working to his advantage. The perpetual chain of births and deaths linked in his reincarnation sequence would hopefully lead to this soul’s release from the worldly captivity it now suffered.


Destined to Lead a Powerful Nation

After many more reincarnations, in which he proved to be noble, trustworthy and honest but had not quite reached a state of enlightenment, he was born in Yorba Linda, California. His mother, Hannah Milhous and father, Frank Nixon named him Richard Milhous Nixon.

Destined to lead a powerful nation, this little ex-amoeba had garnered enough Karma to be able to envisage a truly great life. Born to a poor family in a small town in Southern California was in reality a cosmic advantage. It allowed him to show how a boy from humble beginnings could reach true greatness.

As a youngster he graduated third from his high school despite having to rise at 4 a.m. to help with the family’s small grocery store. In eighth grade he became president of his class at East Whittier Elementary School. His work ethics and sense of duty was unmatched. He loved football and seldom missed any junior varsity football practice, although rarely used in games. However, his true strengths were his sharp mind and ability to debate.

After graduating from high school, Nixon was offered a tuition free spot at Harvard University. Forced to turn the offer down due to his father’s illness that forced him to continue working at the family grocery store, he went to Whittier College instead. Here he graduated summa cum laude in 1934 and received a full scholarship to attend Duke University School of Law.

His academic accomplishments continued, as he was elected president of the Duke Bar Association, inducted into the Order of the Coif, and graduated third in his class in June 1937. However, the advancement of his soul to the next level in the renascence chain was to be challenged. His ability to transcend beyond worldly existence would not be easy.

Later, as Nixon entered politics after graduating from Duke, his temporal success had few setbacks. First as a congressman, then as a senator; followed by an unsuccessful bid for the governorship to the state of California, he was elected Vice-President under Dwight D. Eisenhower from 1953 to 1961.

His second political setback came at the hands of John F. Kennedy when he lost the presidential elections in 1960 by a mere 112,827 popular votes. A margin of 0.17 percent. Perhaps this became the final catalyst for his insecurities. Would he allow this to happen again?

Young Richard Nixon

Source: By Photographer for Los Angeles Herald - Los Angeles Herald, 1916, see description, Public Domain, "Nixon (second from right) makes his newspaper debut in 1916, contributing five cents to a

Source: By Photographer for Los Angeles Herald - Los Angeles Herald, 1916, see description, Public Domain, "Nixon (second from right) makes his newspaper debut in 1916, contributing five cents to a

Nixon Finally Becomes President

Nixon finally won the highest office in the land in 1967 when he defeated Hubert Humphrey during that year’s presidential election. He had finally made it to the position in life he felt he not only deserved, but was also destined to occupy.

As president of the most powerful nation on earth, Nixon faced domestic and international challenges. A faltering economy at home, plagued by rising inflation and unemployment; the war in Vietnam in which thousands of American lives were being lost; and growing opposition to the war, were the main issues driving the country apart and exacerbated his insecurities.

His famous trip to China became the apex of his international accomplishments. His strategy of befriending China’s leadership in order to drive a wedge between the Asian giant and Russia was nothing less than brilliant. Unfortunately, the country remembers him for his misdeeds and not for his world statesmanship.

True to his Gemini birth, Richard Nixon was the embodiment of human duality. He was both an extrovert and a loner; empathetic yet ruthless; a Republican with many liberal ideals; a consummate internationalist but divisive domestically; obsessed with control yet losing it with those in his cabinet who committed the Watergate burglary.

Consequently, his substantial presidential accomplishments were overshadowed by his obsessive search for control and reelection. He was a deeply insecure person with a persecution complex that drove him to lie to the people he represented as president. In his mind every political battle was equivalent to a life or death confrontation. Even his “silent majority” mantra was meant to paint him and his followers as victims of persecution at the hands of his opponents.

Nixon during his presidential campaign, July 1968 Source: By Ollie Atkins, White House photographer

Nixon during his presidential campaign, July 1968 Source: By Ollie Atkins, White House photographer

An Unhappy Universe

His failings did not bode well with a universe that had so generously allowed his soul to hopscotch from a unicellular organism to a complex and powerful human.

Finally, as the walls of the Watergate investigation began to close in on him at the time the White House tape recordings were released to the public, he abdicated from his position as president on August 9, 1974. He lingered in relative obscurity until his death on April 22, 1994, at the age of 81 in New York City.

The council of spirits made up of those souls who had transcended their physical bodies and had now achieved total enlightenment, summoned the ex-president to appear before them. Automatic transmigration was no longer applicable. A determination had to be made. Does his failure to conduct himself in an honest and noble manner preclude this eternal soul from advancing to the next higher level?

The council composed of souls that once inhabited the bodies of great people were all gathered. Albert Einstein; Anne Frank; Abraham Lincoln; Socrates; Frank Zappa; Mahatma Gandhi; Ludwig van Beethoven; Lucille Ball; Marie Curie; Marilyn Monroe and thousands of other transcended souls were there to hold judgement on the ex-president of a great nation, who could have reached the pinnacle of existence, but didn’t due to his insecurities.

After deliberating for 20 Earth years, the decision was made that the soul who occupied the vessel named Richard Milhous Nixon should regress to a lesser form. While several suggestions were made, the council agreed a male cat would be an appropriate stage for this soul to restart its journey toward enlightenment.


A Cat is Born

On April 23, 2014, in the streets of Fort Lauderdale, Florida, a male cat was born to a feral mother. He was soon picked up by an animal lover and taken to the local animal shelter. A handsome cat, with thick grey hair. People said it was a rare breed; a Maine Coon.

He had an air of superiority. A certain stride. Piercing eyes that seemed to be looking through those who tried to make contact with him. When he sat on his hind legs, he looked straight ahead majestically.

Adam and Melissa, a young couple looking for a companion to their female cat, visited the shelter and were immediately drawn to this noble feline. He was different from all the others. Engaging in the type of anthropomorphism many pet owners use, they commented he seemed to contain in him great wisdom and knowledge just as an old sage. The old soul of a wise old man.

They immediately adopted him. On the way home they discussed naming their beautiful new addition to their home. They spontaneously came up with the name Trix. Their reasoning — his piercing eyes looked like they were playing tricks on the people at whom he stared.

After a few weeks, as Trick grew larger, their friend Clementina came to visit. Known for her intuitive and frequent presentiments this eccentric friend was completely enthralled with Trick. She began to whisper in his ears, and he responded positively. They seemed to be communing at a spiritual and visceral level.

The Resemblance is Striking


Nixon Lives in the Neigborhood

Suddenly, Clementina rose from the sofa and exclaimed out loud: “He is the reincarnation of Richard Nixon! He just told me. It’s him. Tricky Dick himself!” She continued, “what name did you give him?” In unison the couple answered, “Trick. Why?”

Clementina replied, “of course. It makes all the sense in the world. You were metaphysically connected with his soul right from the onset.” Melissa responded: “Well, we did immediately see him as a “Trick”, a trickster of sort; didn’t we Adam?” To which her boyfriend responded, “yes. You are correct.”

Ever since this day, the entire neighborhood knows that Richard Milhous Nixon, ex-president of the United States of America resides with Melissa and Adam in apartment 2B.