For the instruction of those who aspire to become a curmudgeon, or who want to know what curmudgeons are. Includes how to know whether a harrumph is proper, pets for curmudgeons, and how to attend a social event when curmudgeons are by definition unsocial.
Being annoying doesn't make us mean. Being annoying is entertaining. We love our children and grandchildren and would never want to embarass them. OK, yes we would. At least I would and have. In a loving way of course...
Ever wonder what to purchase your in-laws for Christmas? Why? It doesn't matter as they're not going to like them anyway! If that's the case, here's some suggestions that might bring you some fun during the rest of the year!
Imponderables: puzzling questions that are just begging to be explained - and yet, often unexplainable. This article takes a light-hearted look at imponderable questions with a food related twist.
Have you ever thought about what you would like to happen to you after you've died? Have you ever contemplated having your remains turned into a diamond or made into a structure to rebuild coral wreaths? Or perhaps musical funerals complete with laser lights are more up your alley. Learn how the world treats death in some fascinating rights, rituals, and traditions and decide for yourself!
It sounded like a good idea at the time. Most bad ideas do. I suppose the paradox is if it tastes bad, it must be good for you. If eating healthy is so good for you, maybe someone should tell the taste buds!
Cats are entertaining and talented. They have many other interesting characteristics as well, but few people know that they can write poetry and music...
Life is full of little surprises and every now and again it loves to fire them at you in rapid fire bursts of overwhelming intensity. My honeymoon was a bit like that.
What women don't know about what goes on in men's bathrooms across the world might shock them to their very core. Finally, the secret is revealed.
Just because you're in tech support solving others' problems doesn't mean you won't encounter more than a few yourself.
Dear Andy's writers this week speak strangely in Malapropisms. They use the wrong words and it makes for some good laughs.
This hub is NOT to promote anyone to try and deal with poisonous snakes or short--tempered grizzly bears.
Martin's wife wasn't taking care of him the way she should, and he was determined to do something about it!
Chemistry jokes, puns, riddles, and hilarious pictures that will have all your science-minded friends laughing! If you're a chemist and need a laugh, these jokes will do the trick!
If you haven't already heard enough silly ways to use less gasoline, here are a few more. Don't try these at home . . . or on the road.
Freeloading ghosts can be annoying. Get rid of a ghost from your house with this satirical description of instructions.
Homework - we've all had to do it sometime. Let's face it, you don't always want to do it. Sometimes you don't even have time to do it. Let's discuss some of the best excuses for unfinished homework.
Ever lost a turtle? A wandering turtle can be very stressful on family life, especially if you have young children. It is a traumatic, unforgettable and devastating experience that could impact your kids for years to come. Should your turtle ever...
This poem is about a man who gave a woman a single beautiful rose. But that woman wasn't his wife. I hope you enjoy it and have a laugh.
This article covers how to get the most laughs out of any joke. It also looks at joke writing and joke construction. I firmly believe that even novices who do not think they are funny can use this article’s tips to get lots of laughs.
Dear Andy has another array of weird and silly letters. He goes around the world without leaving his desk. This weeks theme is other countries. Hope you get a good laugh.
When a massive pimple forms on your face it can be very embarrassing. Tell your family, friends, and colleagues about it can add to the embarrassment which is why this article offers up several plausible stories that you can tell to explain what happened to your face.
Living in a haunted house doesn't have to be a bad experience. Before you attempt to kick out a ghost, try being friends with your new ghostly roommate instead.
Something stinks in the refrigerator, and all the foods have their own theory about which one it is, which erupts into a humorous quarrel.
Getting old is not so bad when you consider the alternative. The statistics show us that the world’s population is aging, so let’s take a humorous look at getting old.
It's not hard to believe that Ninjas are better than women. It's not difficult to understand why ninjas are better than samurais, pirates, and robots. Ask anyone, everybody loves a ninja!
Have you ever been joking around about something and thought "Hey! That's actually a great idea!"? Well, that is how my poems about poop, AKA Poo-ems, came about. I was cracking up about making poop poems and then decided, I actually think people would read that. So here you go, my first 2 poo-ems!
This is a humorous look at the struggle to lose weight. Should you weigh every day or not? Stocking your wardrobe with clothes that fit can be challenging, whether you're gaining or losing weight. We don't overlook the trauma sometimes involved. Includes an artistic, helpful video.
If your kids are like mine, the fighting Never Ends. Someone is always “looking at me funny” or “breathing near me”. Here 10 ways to stay Blissfully Optmistic even during an “It was my favorite color first” argument!
You may think that the innocent-looking banana is everyone’s friend. Not in a hundred years could such a piece of fruit cause anyone any trouble. But in the darkness, it happens.
If someone hurts your feelings or destroys your life the best way to repair the damage is by finding ways to heal. If you are interested in helping the person who hurt you by furthering the hurt by holding onto a grudge for life, this article is for you!
The bar scene isn't for everyone, but for those who do frequent a local pub the people they meet are quite interesting or freakishly frightening...
How do men know which urinal to use in the restroom? It's part of the "bro code" or "man rules." Read on and see if you are an expert enough to be a real man.
We all know how important knowing the perfect word to use at just the right time can be at those pesky family events. Don't be caught unarmed! Read here to broaden your grasp of insulting words.
Cats can write blogs? Well, no, but it's fun to pretend, and some serious beneficial work is done behind the scenes.
Here is an alphabet’s worth of words that you would be wise not to use for fear of being labelled a vocabulary snob.
This article will use analyze the usage of good chinese jokes and chinese language jokes. Moreover, we will provide all of the necessary translations so you will read chinese jokes in english and funny chinese jokes in mandarin. So just sit back and enjoy the funny chinese jokes.
I have organized and managed teams of mechanics that were beyond skilled, and never had so much as a hiccup in terms of managing teams of men as a young female in manufacturing and transport management. But my dating life? It couldn't manage it's way out of a paper bag. What if I did this....
You're on vacation in Japan, soaking up all the good rays on the beach, when suddenly a giant wave forms. Cowabun- Wait! That's no wave.. Thats a real life, honest to goodness, GODZILLA! what do you do???
Are you unfit, unmotivated, allergic to exercise? Exercise ain't for everyone! Here are creative exercise classes the gyms should offer for the rest of us. You won't mind sweating in these classes.
Have you ever wondered why "I" have never skated on ice? Well, the truth is . . .just read this commentary.
This funny how to remove girl wedgies story gives smart advice for removing them in public and relative privacy of the elevator.
As I browse through offers and products on Amazon, some things bring a smile to my face and enlighten my life!
Leprechauns Gold has been sought after for decades. Here is how to get the leprechauns real pot of gold.
"Scissors" is one of the odd words in the English Language that appear as a plural even when only one is meant. This article takes a humorous look at this oddity.
Tips and tricks for getting men to fall all over you like flies on, uh, sticky candy. Become irresistible to the male sex now.
Is your marriage in trouble? Are you committed to working on saving your marriage? If so, these handy tips will guide you on how to keep your marriage growing and keep you from divorce.
This piece hardly needs a summary, because the headline should tell you a lot about the commentary below.
To hear a vampire lament on his loneliness is to know the true meaning of nausea. How can a woman hear the perpetual whining of immortality and the simpering crap of their painful existence?
It is unnerving just how many weird encounters artists and designers experience in their career. A few of these talented artists have shared their hilarious stories in order to supply you with a good laugh!
Actually I’m from North Central Texas, but I lived more than a decade in East Texas which is like a separate country within Texas. They say that the Ft. Worth is where the West begins. Well I grew up on the line. Ten miles either way I was in East...
I'm a mother and although I cherish all the precious moments that come with raising my little one, sometimes I want to rip my hair out in frustration. I have many girl friends who don't have kids and they often wonder if they should take the plunge as well. Before any of you do, consider these 10 alternatives to having kids. It might save you a lot of frustration, and hair, in the future:
Here are some helpful tips to decorate your home the Redneck way. It is a guarantee that your home will be the talk of the town and never boring.
This page lists 50 of the funniest, silliest, most confused excuses and explanations given to policemen or insurance claims reps in the aftermath of a road traffic accident. All are apparently genuine
A satirical story about a young man preparing for a college major. His parents aren't too happy about what is available.
The Great Wall of China, Hadrian's Wall, Antonine's Wall, the Berlin Wall or .......Trump's Fence. Which has the most cachet?
At the gym, awkward moments happen, even as we try to coordinate our movements while under physical duress. We try not to laugh or stare because stuff just naturally happens at the gym.
Andy is an advice columnist, answering questions of people who write him with any number of problems.
Do not pretend I am the only one who wants a Unicorn as a pet? What about Gizmo or the dragon from Never Ending Story? From video games to movies there are a lot of epic creatures that would make a great pet
Bees are little wonders. They pollinate our plants and give us honey. Plus bees are funny--rather, the jokes, puns and idioms about bees are funny. Here are a few facts and lots of laughs.
Andy encounters a lot of psychological disturbances this week. You'll have to read it to believe it.
Funniest 30 Funny Einstein: 15 jokes about relativity, absent-mindedness, lecture, and funny quotes. Second part is another 15 jokes about music, women, wife, childhood, God, dog and Star Wars.
Clean fresh laundry is part of the housecleaning ritual. Rebel against the clothes that keep us chained to the washing machine with these tips on how to avoid doing laundry!
What follows is a simple guide on how to dominate the world. Follow these steps and you just might have a shot.
If you decide to visit to a real haunted house or find yourself in one through no fault of your own one night, survival may depend on this list of Dos and Don'ts. Keep it handy.
Someday we will wake up and find a lot of America's inventors have been hard at work to make life easier and to even save the life that we cherish.
A number of fake phobias have been created by writers, cartoonists and columnists to amuse and entertain. Humorous, fake phobias are listed and discussed and they are differentiated from weird but real phobias. The nature of phobias is also discussed.
This used to happen to me a lot when I lived at home and was still in school. People would complain, "You're too quiet!" Maybe I should have retorted, "Well, maybe you're too loud!" I never did, though. I just slunk away in embarrassment as...
It's the 2020 election season. The candidates are all trying to get advice from Andy or to cull his favor and support. It's rather silly what lengths they will go to to be heard.
As a writer, once in a while you have to just stop, take a break, and laugh at yourself and smile. This collection of writing jokes (some old, some new), may be the break you need. Be calm and write!
Here are some horse jokes and different ways you can use them as fun activities for your unmounted lessons and camp activities!
Recently, amidst the gun debate, a serious question was posed about how one was supposed to deal with a herd of 30-50 feral hogs if one did not have access to assault weapons. Here are a few solutions.
Rats have been around since Moses sent them as a plague to torment the Pharoah who was holding the Israelites against their will. Rats are still here, but this hub will help you with your fight against these rodents.
Has a guy ever flashed at you? It happened to me when I lived in Kent in England during the 1990's. At the time it was quite funny, and here is my story of what happened during and after this experience.....
Aristotle once said, "Speak so that I may see you," and like it or not, fair or not, we are judged according to how we use language -- increasingly, nowadays, how we write. That's why using what is called "correct" grammar is important in our business and social lives.
Ten amusing and sometimes shocking times the public received to much information about the deceased.
Here are some things to avoid if you want your life to be filled with events that stimulate your intellect and provide excitement.
You can tell if a girl doesn't like you if she sets your underwear on fire or if she urinates on your favorite football jersey. If that's not enough to give you a hint, here are a few other ways to know.
Does your Mother-In-Law drive you crazy? This year use Mother's Day as a subtle revenge tool. Here are some perfect gifts for your imperfect Mother-In-Law. Who knows, they may even help her like you more.
If "Roxie," a member of The Rockettes were my wife she would be bombarded by every loving line available at my disposal.
Dear Andy's advice column this week is as whacky as all the others. This week Andy's writers are caught up in technology jargon. Start your Monday with laughter.
Dear Andy gets some pretty funny writers with weird stories and questions. This week he nearly died laughing as he gave advice.
This is a huge collection of inspirational quotes and sayings that will not only raise your spirits, but also make you laugh.
I hand you the Truth about former Hollywood celeb's working in that magical place, "Surreality." I still cannot believe it.
Kids say the darndest things! Take a look at how this writers seven year old answered this question.
The lessons we learn as children come from unusual places. Some from our parents, some from stories, some from the movies we watch. It's terrifying when Oompa Loompas arrive at your door.
Imponderables, perplexing little questions that get under your skin and have you itching for an answer. Well, put away the ointment, these animal related imponderables are just for fun.
A collection of "relatively" funny physics jokes, puns, and funny pictures that have a lot of "potential" to make you and all your science-minded friends laugh!
Quoted here are some of the funniest and most bizarre epitaphs I have come across. I am sure they will make you smile too, and I would love to hear of any others you may know of.
Did you dread P.E. as a child? Well, you're not alone. Here are five games that some of us hated when we were children.
Over time, we do things because that's how it's always been. The Angel always used on top of our Xmas tree has an amusing tradition history. You won't believe it!
Discussing the environment can get heated, overwhelming, and downright depressing. Maybe it is time to take a break from the serious stuff about the environment. Let’s try to get some laughs out of the planet. Here are five jokes about the...
Puzzled and perplexed by all those seemingly unanswerable questions? Then look no further. This article will take away the strain and free you from those imponderable chains.
From early childhood, I have had a love affair with horses. I cannot say why or how it all started but at the ripe old age of 6 or 7, I went into the field behind the duplexes where we were living in California, untied a full-grown horse who was...
Richard, Arthur, Ooni, and Whitey play out the daily struggle for survival in their country home, frequently arguing, often hissing and always loving one another in ways that stretch belief.
Does the word "toboggan" refer to a traditional sled without, or a winter knit cap? The answer might depend on where you're from!
It’s time to smash your smart phone…when Twitter-speak creeps into your everyday face-to-face conversations.
An amusing tale of a plumber's visit and an ordinary housewife who doesn't quite know how to deal with his unwelcome attention
I don't know about you, but I get bored at laundromats. I wish I could wash my clothes at home, but, like a lot of people, I don't have a washer and dryer, and I have to lug everything down to a coin-operated laundry whenever I realize that I've...
While the likelihood of being eaten by another human is rare, it's always smart to be prepared should you ever come in contact with a cannibal.
Performance reviews are a part of working in corporate America. It doesn't have to be so boring though. Check out some answers that will surely make the review hilarious.
In this guide, I’ll give you some background on where these cute creatures come from, how to care for them, and where you can purchase a Tribble if you’re ready to add one to your family.
Are you looking for various ways to prank your teacher? Well, let me count the ways. Here are 150+ ways to annoy your teacher!
The English language is universal, but it needs a revamp. With my tongue firmly in my cheek, I identify aspects that need to be overhauled. Let's dispense with the ceremony of correct grammar and jump straight into how much damage we can do with my recommendations.
Here are some funny, witty comeback lines for when someone tells you "You talk too much!". Yes, I talk a lot - laugh a lot, cry a lot - it all evens out! Get your own back with these comebacks!
This article explores the origins of Groundhog Day and the deep relationship between man and groundhog throughout the ages. It is time to credit this burrowing rodent with inspiring advances in human civilization and science.
Funny explanation of how to talk to a ghost in your house. This is satire for how to talk to an aggressive person. Each tip is actually a tip for assertively dealing with aggression.
It's finally the end of the semester and it's time to start planning what you're going to do with those textbooks we all love. Here's a list of fun and creative things to do with them.
My elderly aunts love telling jokes like these. I hope you enjoy them, too. Three old guys, all hard of hearing, were playing golf one sunny spring morning. One says to another, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man answers, "it's Thursday." The...
This is a fun page about Acronyms. NATO is an acronym formed by using the initial letter of each word in a group, but on this page we build reverse-acronyms and we start with THE word like "GIRL" and we come up with something like: G-enerally I-nteresting R-evitalizing L-ifeform. BRA for example. Ask yourself the Question: What is a BRA? B-osom R-egulating A-ccessory...
As as a late stage middle-ager gaining quickly on senior citizenhood, I can see the value of laughing at myself. And these tidbits of senior aging will make you laugh with glee.
When I was a teenager I had all the answers to everything; now that I’m in my eighth decade all I have is questions.
It has been brought to my attention that some men have been lead astray by the liberal atheist homosexual agenda and wear women's lingerie. This is a danger to society at large and must be stopped forthwith. Fortunately I have come upon this den of...
Stories and anecdotes that can teach you life lessons. How children can learn from stories and anecdotes.
One of the biggest challenges of our life will always be getting to that gut-realization that unfairness of life may only boil down to our own frame of mind. For, there is nothing that mind cannot make better.