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25 Ways to Annoy Your Kids

If you can't beat them, annoy them...

Our children are our pride and joy. From the moment they are born our hearts are filled with unconditional love for our little bundles of joy.

When they napped, we wanted to awaken them because we didn't want to be apart from them for too long.

We take precautions that they are always safe and free from danger. We have the gray hair or facial stress lines to prove it.

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To Annoy or Not To Annoy

Each and every day they made us either smile, laugh, cry and at times scream. Oh yes, the wonderful memories. All parents have them. We store those blissful memories for when our children get older and they aren't around as often.

We scan our memory bank for images of the growing up years. We recall the times they embarrassed us by having a temper tantrum for no reason other than just for the heck of it. We recall the sleepless nights due to colic or just for the heck of it. We recall worrying about them on their many "first times."

I would never trade in parenthood or grand-parenthood for anything! My children are grown and married. My oldest granddaughter is now six years old. In my opinion I have earned the right to annoy my children...let the games begin. Actually the games began many years ago. It's all in fun and we have made memorable memories along the way.

Some of these annoying antics might seem a bit mean, but they really aren't. They are kind of like thoughtful gestures and reminders of days gone by. Or days just starting.

If you are an old-timer at annoying your children, please share your antics in the comment section. If you are a newcomer to being an annoying parent I hope you pick up some unique techniques and before you know it you'll be a master at annoyance. You will make your children proud. Or not.

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"My parents are so annoying"

  1. Leave post-it notes around the house as reminders for the kids. Then text them to be sure they read the post-its. Then phone them to be sure they received their texts.
  2. Sing their favorite song. Off-key. Loud. With a nasal voice. While they are on the phone with their potential significant other.
  3. As they are walking out the front door with their group of friends and not yet in their cars, yell "I'll have cookies and cocoa waiting for you so don't be late!"
  4. When you are sure another one of your children is in hearing distance tell one of your kids that they are your favorite child. Then tell the other child the same thing with the other in hearing distance. This applies to older kids who won't take it as seriously as youngens.
  5. After they have gone to sleep, reset their alarm to one hour earlier. After they wake up and get ready to leave for school or work, tell them what you've done. Before they have a hissy fit, tell them that you wanted to spend some extra time with them because they brighten your day. After they roll their eyes and remind you how annoying you are and beg you not to do that again, they'll appreciate your genuine act of kindness! Hopefully.
  6. Randomly hide behind the sofa, wall, closet...jump out and say BOO, just for the heck of it. Their expressions are priceless, no matter what their age is.
  7. Everyone probably knows what spinners are. The wheel covers that keep spinning even when your car is stopped. Well, I once bought those. I regretted the purchase after 5 minutes since they just didn't look cool enough on a Toyota Corolla. My daughters were humiliated and couldn't believe I bought those. Their expressions changed my mind quickly, I decided to keep them for a bit. I would pick my daughters up from high school and the other kids were yelling "cool, spinners" while I drove through the parking lot to find my daughter hiding behind a tree to get ready to jump into the car as it was in motion! Haha! Priceless memory.
  8. Hack into their Facebook and post a status saying that "When I grow up, I want to be just like my awesome parents!"
  9. "Remind them that you brought them into the world and you could take them out" - one of my favorite quotes by Bill Cosby
  10. When they are talking to their friends on the phone, get in their face and ask them lots of questions. In between each question say "payback." Priceless!
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More ways to annoy your children

11. When they are in the bathroom knock on the door just for the heck of it. Ask what they are doing. Ask if they are almost done. Yep, payback.

12. Wake them up in the middle of the night and tell them your tummy hurts. Their reply will be, "OK, I'm trying to sleep." Ask them to "rub your belly" just like you did for them. Keep in mind these annoying antics might also give your kids the edge to move out as soon as they blow out their candles on their 18th birthday. So proceed with caution!

13. Grandparents want to spoil their grandchildren, which is our given right. Excess spoiling isn't a good thing. My granddaughter likes to win...at everything. I let her win, except when I want to be annoying. My, oh my, she doesn't like when I don't let her win. My, oh my, it's so entertaining for me to witness her pouts.

14. When your children are old enough to drive, you sit in the back seat and kick their seat. When they ask "WTF?" Remind them that's what they used to do and they found it entertaining.

15. When they are old enough to cook you dinner, tell them you don't like it. You'd rather have McDonalds.

16. While dropping them off at school wear some red lipstick. Kiss them on their forehead and wish them a happy day! They'll have your smacker on their forehead when they enter their classroom. Making memories!

17. Growing up we had two Grandfather clocks in our home. My dad used to set them to chime at 6 a.m. on weekends. That was pure torture. We never knew when the chiming would end since they were set to chime back to back. Obviously, annoying children seems to be genetic.

18. When they text you, respond with a "K"... so annoying, yet so much fun!

19. Be overprotective. Remind them often about what they might assume they are about to do is safe, they still need to be prepared at all times. Drill it in their heads until you are considered annoying.

20. Say, "I told you so!" Repeat as often as needed.

21. Stand in front of the TV while they are playing video games. Ask annoying questions. When they lose their turn you could calmly walk away.

22. When their friends come over to hang out call them "dude" or "dudette." Sure, you'll look like a dork, but wouldn't it be worth it if only for a few minutes? You could get your cool back on after you bring out the freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. OK, maybe not, but you tried and that's what's important.

23. At the next parent teacher conference wear a t-shirt that says "I Love My Son (or Daughter)." Have the teacher take a photo of the two of you. Wouldn't that make a perfect picture to display in the classroom. Not.

24. Tell them they are grounded. When they ask, "WHY?!" Tell them you can't remember, but when you do they'll be the first to know.

25. Give them random hugs in public and in private. When they ask, "What was that for?" Tell them, "Even though I might be an annoying parent I wouldn't be so if I didn't love you so much."

Elvis Presley - Don't Be Cruel

Long live annoying antics!

Parents, just don't understand...

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© 2012 Linda Bilyeu

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