25 Ways to Annoy Your Kids
If you can't beat them, annoy them...
Our children are our pride and joy. From the moment they are born our hearts are filled with unconditional love for our little bundles of joy.
When they napped, we wanted to awaken them because we didn't want to be apart from them for too long.
We take precautions that they are always safe and free from danger. We have the gray hair or facial stress lines to prove it.
To Annoy or Not To Annoy
Each and every day they made us either smile, laugh, cry and at times scream. Oh yes, the wonderful memories. All parents have them. We store those blissful memories for when our children get older and they aren't around as often.
We scan our memory bank for images of the growing up years. We recall the times they embarrassed us by having a temper tantrum for no reason other than just for the heck of it. We recall the sleepless nights due to colic or just for the heck of it. We recall worrying about them on their many "first times."
I would never trade in parenthood or grand-parenthood for anything! My children are grown and married. My oldest granddaughter is now six years old. In my opinion I have earned the right to annoy my children...let the games begin. Actually the games began many years ago. It's all in fun and we have made memorable memories along the way.
Some of these annoying antics might seem a bit mean, but they really aren't. They are kind of like thoughtful gestures and reminders of days gone by. Or days just starting.
If you are an old-timer at annoying your children, please share your antics in the comment section. If you are a newcomer to being an annoying parent I hope you pick up some unique techniques and before you know it you'll be a master at annoyance. You will make your children proud. Or not.
"My parents are so annoying"
- Leave post-it notes around the house as reminders for the kids. Then text them to be sure they read the post-its. Then phone them to be sure they received their texts.
- Sing their favorite song. Off-key. Loud. With a nasal voice. While they are on the phone with their potential significant other.
- As they are walking out the front door with their group of friends and not yet in their cars, yell "I'll have cookies and cocoa waiting for you so don't be late!"
- When you are sure another one of your children is in hearing distance tell one of your kids that they are your favorite child. Then tell the other child the same thing with the other in hearing distance. This applies to older kids who won't take it as seriously as youngens.
- After they have gone to sleep, reset their alarm to one hour earlier. After they wake up and get ready to leave for school or work, tell them what you've done. Before they have a hissy fit, tell them that you wanted to spend some extra time with them because they brighten your day. After they roll their eyes and remind you how annoying you are and beg you not to do that again, they'll appreciate your genuine act of kindness! Hopefully.
- Randomly hide behind the sofa, wall, closet...jump out and say BOO, just for the heck of it. Their expressions are priceless, no matter what their age is.
- Everyone probably knows what spinners are. The wheel covers that keep spinning even when your car is stopped. Well, I once bought those. I regretted the purchase after 5 minutes since they just didn't look cool enough on a Toyota Corolla. My daughters were humiliated and couldn't believe I bought those. Their expressions changed my mind quickly, I decided to keep them for a bit. I would pick my daughters up from high school and the other kids were yelling "cool, spinners" while I drove through the parking lot to find my daughter hiding behind a tree to get ready to jump into the car as it was in motion! Haha! Priceless memory.
- Hack into their Facebook and post a status saying that "When I grow up, I want to be just like my awesome parents!"
- "Remind them that you brought them into the world and you could take them out" - one of my favorite quotes by Bill Cosby
- When they are talking to their friends on the phone, get in their face and ask them lots of questions. In between each question say "payback." Priceless!
More ways to annoy your children
11. When they are in the bathroom knock on the door just for the heck of it. Ask what they are doing. Ask if they are almost done. Yep, payback.
12. Wake them up in the middle of the night and tell them your tummy hurts. Their reply will be, "OK, I'm trying to sleep." Ask them to "rub your belly" just like you did for them. Keep in mind these annoying antics might also give your kids the edge to move out as soon as they blow out their candles on their 18th birthday. So proceed with caution!
13. Grandparents want to spoil their grandchildren, which is our given right. Excess spoiling isn't a good thing. My granddaughter likes to win...at everything. I let her win, except when I want to be annoying. My, oh my, she doesn't like when I don't let her win. My, oh my, it's so entertaining for me to witness her pouts.
14. When your children are old enough to drive, you sit in the back seat and kick their seat. When they ask "WTF?" Remind them that's what they used to do and they found it entertaining.
15. When they are old enough to cook you dinner, tell them you don't like it. You'd rather have McDonalds.
16. While dropping them off at school wear some red lipstick. Kiss them on their forehead and wish them a happy day! They'll have your smacker on their forehead when they enter their classroom. Making memories!
17. Growing up we had two Grandfather clocks in our home. My dad used to set them to chime at 6 a.m. on weekends. That was pure torture. We never knew when the chiming would end since they were set to chime back to back. Obviously, annoying children seems to be genetic.
18. When they text you, respond with a "K"... so annoying, yet so much fun!
19. Be overprotective. Remind them often about what they might assume they are about to do is safe, they still need to be prepared at all times. Drill it in their heads until you are considered annoying.
20. Say, "I told you so!" Repeat as often as needed.
21. Stand in front of the TV while they are playing video games. Ask annoying questions. When they lose their turn you could calmly walk away.
22. When their friends come over to hang out call them "dude" or "dudette." Sure, you'll look like a dork, but wouldn't it be worth it if only for a few minutes? You could get your cool back on after you bring out the freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. OK, maybe not, but you tried and that's what's important.
23. At the next parent teacher conference wear a t-shirt that says "I Love My Son (or Daughter)." Have the teacher take a photo of the two of you. Wouldn't that make a perfect picture to display in the classroom. Not.
24. Tell them they are grounded. When they ask, "WHY?!" Tell them you can't remember, but when you do they'll be the first to know.
25. Give them random hugs in public and in private. When they ask, "What was that for?" Tell them, "Even though I might be an annoying parent I wouldn't be so if I didn't love you so much."
Elvis Presley - Don't Be Cruel
Long live annoying antics!
Have you ever purposely annoyed your children?
Parents, just don't understand...
© 2012 Linda Bilyeu
How have you annoyed your kids?
Linda,
I've returned to read your very helpful *how-to* Hub another time. I'm going to tweet your article and share it on Google+.
- AUTHOR
I totally agree, Effer! :)
Any great Mom should be an expert at annoying her darlings......My sons would worry that I am sick if I didn't give them a hard time now and then. They literally torture me! We have a right to defend ourselves!!!! LOL................
- AUTHOR
I'm glad I could offer tips on how to annoy your future kids! :)
- AUTHOR
Exactly Steph, what goes around comes around.
Too cute, Linda! lol. I laughed a lot at some of these... if I have kids, I know which ones I'm going to do lol.
Turn about is fair play...our kids have all annoyed us at times! Funny and entertaining, Linda!
- AUTHOR
Thank you for all you entertaining comments and for sharing some tricks of the trade! :)
Love it my kids are just getting there where you can annoy them especially my 11year old he is on the edge where I am cool and some times I am not cool thank you for putting a smile on my face great hub!
Get up and dance at a party/ disco in front of their friends real bad, do the moonwalk everything, they hate it !!
So funny! The Mom in me just chuckled up a storm!
Hey Sunshine,
nice article on how to make your kids annoyed by you
i found it funny and yet very true
it really doesn't take much
thanks and Voted up
I loved this hub. My favorite was number 12 except with my son he is always wanting us to rub his legs!
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I absolutely LOVED this hub b/c I just fell into those behaviors in a very natural way-but only when provoked. My nephew can really antagonize me intentionally and sometimes, it is just the right thing to show him a sample of his own behavior. Unfortunately, it is a temporary lesson learned! Funny hub, Linda- UP/U/F
Right! You have written an incredible Hub on the topic these are definitely helpful to parenting
My daughter being a bit pesky at the moment....time for some payback me thinks :o)
U know, I don't have kids, but my parents have done most of thise things at some point in my life. You seem like you know what you're talking about, Linda.
I love this Hub. I am new to HubPages and this hub is why HP is my new addiction. I am always looking for a new way to annoy the kiddos!
Love it! I sing off key to my son all the time and it drives him crazy!
- AUTHOR
Hi Lady, I've been behaving. For now :)
Hi Rebecca, Feel free to use any of my ideas!
Thanks for stopping by.
I think annoying the kids is a great idea. I love your list. You have some great little tricks to choose from!
Exactly he doesn't understand that it's a competitive spirit which I dislike you must stand your loses he gets so mad when granny wins him to, he'll scatter the board........ Then I'd scatter his butt LOL.
Hope you not annoying the kids tonight ha ha ha
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Hi LadyFiddler! I could imagine your nephews face. Haha! It's not who wins or loses, it's how well you play the game. My granddaughter never likes when I say that. ;)
- AUTHOR
Way to go Rajan! It's payback time. Always!
- AUTHOR
Hi Bill, Very wicked! Haha! :)
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Hi sunshine you made me smile very funny indeed, hmmmm sounds like your kids would have been tortured lol but then again it's PAY BACK ha ha ha.
I can imagine your grand daughter's face as my nephew never likes to stand his loses.
Thanks for sharing this fun interesting hub ;)
Awesome list, Linda and many of the things I already did and still do to annoy my kids though they are grown up now.
Votes up, awesome.
Just a minute...as soon as I wipe the tears from my eyes I'll finish this comment. Oh, Linda, you have a wicked streak in you. Just way too funny! I have to admit I have done a couple of these things, and I was feeling a bit vindictive when I did them. I might have to go to confession now that I think about it. LOL
Great, fun hub!
- AUTHOR
Sasha, Michelle and Priscilla ... I'm glad you were able to pick up some tricks of the trade.
Michael, YouTube is a fabulous idea! Thank you for planting the seed!
Becky, you are correct. Breathe quietly.
Thank you for your cool comments!
- AUTHOR
pstraubie48, I have a friend who used the alarm trick with her son, she was very entertained by his reaction.
- AUTHOR
Jamie, The "K" text used to irk me, but now I just give it back and it's so much fun!
My girls are still little and are only annoyed when I say "no more snacks before dinner" or some other variation of wee one parenting. I imagine as they age I will annoy them simply by just breathing (YAY for teenagers).
~Becky
Hi Linda,
I have thought of a new twist.
Annoy the kids and catch it on video.
Then post it on YouTube.
Sit back and laugh lol
This hub was great. I'm not a parent yet, but I will say that no matter how much my parents may have annoyed me, their love was the best thing that has kept me all these years. Voted up!
Priceless, Linda! I wish I had thought of some of these when I was teaching! Seriously, cool hub and I am sharing!
These are hilarious... and I remember my mom doing some of these, lol. I'll have to bookmark this for future reference ^_^ voting a bunch and sharing
O my. I have done some of these. O, and did I just admit it?? Yep, I must be rotten. and I had the old alarm clock thing done to me except my brother in law did it to me the year I lived with my sister and him. Only he set the clock for 1 a.m. I got up and got dressed and when I was completely dressed he and my sister came out, laughing.
Your list is too funny. thanks for the good laugh. :) ps
LOL.. Linda.. you are a TRIP!! My daughter does the "k" thing when she texts me.. I do admit, it's quite annoying... will keep this ideas in mind :)
- AUTHOR
Holyjean, What goes around comes around. You have four children...let the games begin! Have fun!
- AUTHOR
Hi Linda, Your secrets are safe with me ;)
Hi M, Your sister is never to old to annoy. Actually it might be her turn now to annoy you! Haha!
Dexter, wearing a scary mask for #6 is so mean! I love it! Thanks for planting the seed!
- AUTHOR
Hi Michael, The payback element makes it so much more entertaining!:)
This is so awesome. I never thought to turn the things they do to annoy me around on them lol. I'm definitely going to use the bathroom one, and I'm going to wake them up with a tummy ache. I didn't just bookmark this, I printed it out lol.
Sunshine! This was fantastic and provided me with some great ideas to be even more annoying! The ones I use now - 6, 9, 10, 11, 19, 24 and 25!
To add to number 6, wear a scary halloween mask! Funny!
Hahaha!! Love this! me and my mom always annoy my younger sister..she's a little stubborn (you know how young kids are) but fortunately, she did grow up. :))
Sunshine, this is awesome. I am sure you spoke to my mother before writing it. I'm glad she didn't tell you all her secrets. lol
Hi Linda,
What a great resource hub for my future reference.
I have just begun to take pleasure in annoying my kids.
Previously I just used to annoy them without the 'payback' element. :)
- AUTHOR
Hi Vinaya, I'm sure your nephew will appreciate you annoying him because he might consider retaliating :)
I won't be charged for annoying my nephew, I want to give a try. LOL
- AUTHOR
dmsintexas, Haha! Have fun making memories!
DDE, Thank you also!
algarveview, Your kids are so young and innocent. Perfect time to begin annoying them. Enjoy! :)
- AUTHOR
Dianna, The spinners are something I'd prefer to forget, but they annoyed my kids so I had to keep them for a bit :)
Hi, Sunshine625, really loved your ideas, they so deserve it, my kids are only 4 and the boy is much more annoying than his sister, so sometimes I want payback, I've had the "Oh, mom, enough kisses/talk, now, you're being a nag and I want to watch my cartoons... " a lot by now... in time, I'll use of your ideas... Voted up and funny and useful... Take care!
You have mentioned all the correct points of annoying children thanks for the insightful Hub
My kids are going to hate you! Let the games begin!!
I was picturing you driving through the parking lot with the spinners -- too funny! Your posts are always a bit of "sunshine" in my day. Thanks for the advice, don't have any kids in the home, but I can still relate to it well.
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Haha Mary! I could so imagine you taking a snooze during appt's!!
Faithbuilder, I'm looking forward to your stories.
Vellur, I'm glad you enjoyed. Poor kids. Haha!
Glimmer, You go girl! I sense a success of an annoying parent in you!!
Thank you all for your comments!! :)
- AUTHOR
Conservative, a Noid! Very funny in an annoying way, I'm going to have to use that one! Thank you! :)
This made my afternoon! After the night I had with my daughter last night I might do all of these!! I always sing off key, even when I'm not trying to and she just rolls her eyes. We annoy her by dancing in public at the mall when a cheesy song comes on over the loudspeaker. Funny hub!
HAHA !! enjoyed reading. Just imagine being embarrassed by parents!! the very cheek, love your ways to annoy our kids. Serves them right!!!! Haha all in good fun. Voted up.
Very funny!!! Love it..I needed a good laugh today. Can't wait to try some of these tactics on my children!!! LOL ..keep writing!!!
Great entertainment in this Hub. I used to annoy my kids when I took them to a dr's or dentist's appointment, and while waiting for them to be called in, I feel asleep. When my head tilted back, I snored very loudly! They were so embarrassed and annoyed.
Hilarious! What a fun read. My daughters used to get so mad at me - I would often sing in a very goofy voice when we were out in public - they would always say "Mom you are sooooo annoying" I would ask - oh so are you saying you are annoyed? Because you don't look like a "Noid" and they would huff off even more annoyed than before.
- AUTHOR
Good one Ruchira!!! Be sure and leave the lipstick smear on his forehead!
Shining, Head banging to Bing Crosby! That's AWESOME!!!
Hi Debby...if you should ever change your mind you know where to come for pointers! ;)
Thanks y'all for stopping by!
- AUTHOR
Alocsin, I didn't add a disclaimer so I'll just post it here: I am not responsible for any arrests, kids moving out or retaliation from children ;)
Linda - You are a HOOT!!!! Put a smile on my face. My favorite was the kiss on the forehead with lipstick as you send them off to school. I'm just picturing it. However, all of your antics are hysterical. I would never do any of these things to my darling children. Life is hard enough without having to deal with a crazy annoying mom, too. blessings, Debby
Bravo! This is absolutely hysterically funny my friend! I laughed until I cried. Each one getting better than the previous!
I once picked my nephew and his friends up at their school and made sure my stellar surround sound radio was tuned to Bing Crosby as loud as it would go. They were mortified, especially when I pulled up "banging my head" to it. They never asked me to pick them up again.
You did so well with this and your humor is fantastic!
Hilarious Linda.
I usually embarrass my kid when I kiss him in public and then comes the annoyance and long lecture from him when we are alone...lol
Loved it.
I don't have any children of my own -- but I'll be happy to try some of these out on the children of strangers. Although I have to be careful about getting arrested. Voting this Up and Funny. SHARED.
- AUTHOR
Innerspin, that's awesome! Thank you for sharing!
Shruti, Thank you for your compliment. I will continue to annoy my kids and grandkids for as long as I'm able to! ;)
rfmoran, so what if your son is over 40? The older the better to annoy! Go on now, enjoy!
Thank you Kashmir for the share! :)
- AUTHOR
Tina, LOL about your 19 yr old wanting to move! I guess we could annoy too much. Have fun!
- AUTHOR
Hi Nell! I'm so happy to see your smiling face! I'm glad you got a smile or two or three from this hub! :)
- AUTHOR
Hey Fred, I have the hub in mind. Grandparents also! Good thinking.
- AUTHOR
MHatter, I'm glad to hear you enjoyed annoying your children also. Why stop now? They are never too old to annoy.
Hi sunshine great hub, love your list of 25 ways to annoy your kids !
Vote up and more !!! SHARING !
This hub is a howler. I wish my son weren't over 40. Maybe I'll try some of this stuff on my grandkids. I love the one about sitting in the back seat and kicking the front seat. Yesss! Voted up and funny.
Such a brilliant hub! I truly love your ideas, and I must say your kids must be so lucky and proud to have a mother like you, who is uber- cool :)
lovely hub, could connect to it a lot ! thank you :)
I'm looking forward to kicking the back of the car seat. My sons hate it when we get stopped by traffic lights for roadworks. For years now, I've sung a little song, reading the sign, " When the red light shows, wait here." It goes on until the lights change. Being trapped in a car with me singing really isn't good. Entertaining hub!
Laughed all the way through! My children are 14, 17, and 19 so I have had a few years of experience with some of your suggestions. It never gets old! My 19 year old can't wait to move! LOL!
Haha! Brilliant! loved the grounding one, can't remember but your grounded! and the T shirts, what great memories these would be, wonderful stuff Linda!
Great hub! I would like a hub on "The Different Ways to Annoy your Parents", although I completely agree with "what goes around, comes around".
Thank you so much for the great memories. Thank God both of my children were confident and had high self esteem with some of my stunts.
- AUTHOR
Michelle, my favorite daughter...or is that Carissa? Lol Oh yes those spinner wheels, the boys all wanted to spin them as you hid behind the tree in embarassment. I love it! :)
- AUTHOR
Enjoy Janine. Feel free to use as many as you need with your girls. Keep us posted! :)
- AUTHOR
Docmo, One Direction is perfect for a nasal tone. As is Justin Beiber! Have fun with your kids!
- AUTHOR
drbj, No one likes to hear "I told you so" which makes those words so darn annoying. Have fun!
- AUTHOR
Feel free to use these on your friends and family Jeannie. Pass them on. Let the good times roll.
- AUTHOR
Thank you for the video idea Richard! It's a great addition. I have embarrassed my daughters in front of their in-laws and it was so much fun! Great minds thinking alike!
As Sunshine's daughter, I must say that she is GREAT at annoying her kids! ;) But looking back, it was all in good fun. I'm glad that you can laugh at our misery....especially with those dang spinners!
Oh I am so glad I had a few quiet moment right now to check in, because you made my night with a new list (I truly love your lists). I so with you on #9, because that is one of my favorite Bill Cosby quotes of all-time and have actually repeated this when my kids have been beastly. Also loved #14 and could so see myself doing this to my girls when they are driving age. Awesome, seriously and have of course voted up, shared and tweeted tonight :)
Awesome. I am particularly proud of already having done a few of these much to my delight and their collective annoyance... but you've certainly given me ideas for many more. ( rubs his hands in glee and sings One Direction song in a nasal off-key tone). Thank you!
Thank you, Linda, for these 25 fascinating suggestions on how to annoy your children (and/or others). Number 20 - Say, "I told you so!" is one of my favorites. I have in the past and will continue in the future to repeat it at will.
This is awesome! Even though I don't have children, I will use some of these suggestions to annoy other people in my life. Thanks!
Linda - This reminds me of a Nick Gilder song from the 80's called "Cruel to be Kind!" Hilarious read! So good to see you smiling! Another great thing to do is to sit down with their in-laws at a get together and start talking about how much they used to pick their nose, and, how much they used to drool when they'd fall asleep in the car seat. They love that! Great Job! Voted and shared!
- AUTHOR
Hi Steph...I can't see you as mean, but then again being mean in this hub is equal to lots of love. So continue to have fun! :)
- AUTHOR
Hey Bill, Thank you for including nieces and nephews to the list...by all means they qualify and are an added bonus to tease and taunt!
- AUTHOR
Marlene, #20 is a gift that keeps on giving. Kids think they are invincible, when they are in above their heads because they didn't listen to our advice "I told you so!" comes in very handy! ;) and Yes I'm a very cool mom. At least I've been told that by my daughters friends many times and I didn't even bake them cookies as a bribe.
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Martie! I often hear Carissa complaining about Faith and I laugh, she frowns! I tell her that's what you did to me, welcome to parenthood. Bahaha! Gotta love it.
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Hi Effer! I thought of you often while I was writing this hub, I just knew you would enjoy it and could relate to it. My girls continue to harass me and I continue to give it right back. Faith started young, she's good at pushing my buttons. I show no mercy. Ok, for Faith I do. Sometimes. Haha!
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Hey Jools, 18...What a perfect age to annoy. I wish you lots of fun making memories!
My grown children love it when they complain about their kids and I say, "They never do that at MY house!" I also find it pretty entertaining to tell them that their kids are just like they were at that age...they deserve whatever they get! :) Oh, I can be so mean!
Linda, great hub and oh so true. Not only do I enjoy annoying my grandkids but my nieces and nephews also. I tell them that if I didn't love them I wouldn't enjoy picking on them so much. It's all in good fun of course. Excellent list, I learned a few new tricks today, thanks.
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