10. Organic Candy
If you or your kids are going to eat junk food, make sure it's the premium kind! You'll only spend an extra 5 or 6 dollars per package but hey, it's worth it. Organic candy says "yes I care about my health, but not that much". Just make sure you check the label for "Organic" before you buy because they taste the same and you'll never know for sure.
Let's take beautification to a whole new level. With organic make up even though it has no pigment you'll be showing a clear conscience on your face knowing that you are maintaining your organic lifestyle. Paying double for your organic make-up? No problem! You'll save a ton of stress knowing that you are fighting the moral battle.
8. Organic fluoride
This is a great halfway point for those who are fluoride supporters and those who are those crazy conspiracy theorists who are anti-fluoride. These half-witted "anti-fluoriders" are afraid to put harsh chemicals into their mouth to keep their teeth clean. So now you can get them on the right side of history with organic fluoride.
7. Organic Baskets
What about Grandma?!?!
6. Organic Clothes
From school clothes to pajamas you need to stay organic! Keep your healthy lifestyle going strong with organic clothes! Can polyester be organic? Of course! Anything be organic if you believe hard enough. From t-shirts to shoes you'll never have to worry that your skin is touching something not organic.
5. Organic cigarettes
Take a deep sigh of relief and a deep pull of an organic cancer stick as you puff down a few extra smokes guilt free. Not only is smoking relaxing but now it's healthy again! Smoke 'em if you got 'em! (Organic ones of course)
4. Organic Tattoos
Being a bad ass doesn't mean you can't be organic in the process. Get that flaming skull tattoo that says "kill yourself" But just make sure that you use organic ink and an organic needle. Then not only you but eveyone else will know where you stand and the message you're sending to everyone about how much you care. Make sure that prick is organic!
3. Organic gasoline
Forget going green, just go organic! That's good enough for government work anyway. No longer will you feel guilty about putting pollutants in the air because at least they are organic. So drive an extra block, rev the engine a little more at each light and share that fresh, sweet organic carbon monoxide!
2. Organic Crack
Family worried about your drug problems? Well now they can rest easy knowing that you are going organic! With purely organic crack your family will know that you not only care about your health but that you are concerned with them and their feelings as well. What a way to compromise! (don't do crack please)
1. Organic A-bombs
Yes Atomic weapons can destroy entire cities but why also release harmful toxins too?! With organic A-bombs not only can you feel safe during nuclear fallout but you can enjoy the breeze on your moral high ground.