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The Snotty Dragon - a Short Story

Timothy is a Christian who enjoys creating visual art and writing. He has a B.S. in Psychology.


Snotty Dragon Slayers

The town of Longquill had a problem. A snotty dragon had taken up residence outside of the town. Each a brave group of townsfolk set out to slay or chase away the dragon. Each day the dragon ate a good meal.

The townsfolk were in a quandary about how to rid themselves of the dragon. People gathered, solutions were bantered about but nobody had a clue as to how to get rid of the dragon. A messenger was sent to get help from the king but he never returned.

In the local blacksmith shop the smithy Wil and his friend Linor were discussing the very same issue of the dragon.

“Wil we have the power to slay this dragon I'm telling you. There is no need to be afraid.”

“I’m a blacksmith not a dragon slayer. I make the swords to meet the whole town’s needs. I’ve never actually hefted one of my own swords.”

“Well then forge me a sword and I’ll go after the dragon myself.”

“Linor, you're a woman. Once you get close to the dragon you will quiver in fear and run away. Probably whining to your momma about…”

“ I’m not here to argue whether a woman is worthy of battle or not ‘Wil. I will have me a sword...if you’re not going to forge me a strong blade I will go find someone else.”

“Hey don’t get your undergarments in a bunch. I will forge you a blade. Can I be there when you fall on your butt trying to wield one of my blades? I mean I need a good laugh from time to time.”

“Wil if you're going to make light of my bravery…”

“No, no I’m sorry...It’s been a bad week, some of my best customers have been eaten trying to slay the dragon. I will forge you a sword.”

Linor turned to leave. “I’ll be back later for the sword.” She said as she walked out the door.

Linor walked out of the blacksmith shop and headed up the Main Street of town. She hoped all her bravado of speech translated into action. On her way home she crossed paths with her friend Feli who was in a tizzy herself about the dragon.

“Linor...Linor I’m so glad I found...found you. I wanted to warn you…” She stopped talking in order to catch her breath after running the whole way.

“Warn me of what?”

Feli held up her hand with one finger in the air.

Linor stood there patiently. Finally Feli caught her breath

“There is a snotty dragon in the woods. I watched from afar as he mocked and ate some town folk who were prodding at him with pitchforks.”

“Oh that.” Linor nonchalantly responded.

“Bloomin heck, Linor! We’ve got to do something. People are dying here. Well not here but over in the woods. I can show you.”

“I agree, but there is nothing I can do until the smithy makes me my sword.”


The Sword

“Sword,” Why didn’t you say something earlier? I just happen to have a perfectly good sword hanging on my wall. My late husband, God rest his soul, hung it up there and told me many times, “Don’t touch my sword, it has great family sentiment. Besides it might be magical.” Well now it just hangs there…”

“Feli, if you’re quite through lets go look at this sword.”

They both took off and ran. They turned off the main street to take a shortcut through some back gardens and even jumped a fence or two before they arrived at Feli’s house. They entered the house and sure enough here was a sword hanging above the mantle.

Linor gazed at the sword, “I’ve been in your house many times you think I would’ve noticed the sword before.”

Theory walked across the living room to the fireplace. Feli reached up and took the sword off the wall. “Pretty light for a sword if you ask me.” She handed the sword to Linor.

“You’re right it feels kind of light for a dragon killing sword.” Linor looked at the sword. The metal was smooth and shiny. Not a scratch anywhere. The blade was honed to such a sharpness it could cut a piece of paper. “The blade is so fine and delicately worked. Not a scratch anywhere. Definitely not the work of our smithy.”

They both laughed.

“Yeah definitely not his work.” Feli snickered. “Wil would wet his pants if he saw a blade like this one.”

“Yeah, or give up sword making altogether.”

“Or go back to making iron lawn decorations.”

They both laughed again.

Linor looked at the blade again. Suddenly something dawned on her. She looked at Feli. “I have seen work like this before…”

“You have, where could you possibly see a sword like this one in our village? I’ve been here neigh my whole life and I’ve never seen a sword like this one.”

“Last year when we had the troop of elves come through town. In the tavern some of the elves had swords similar to this one. Still the swords I’ve seen lack the beauty of this one.”

“I wonder where my husband came to acquire an elven sword….I mean he possessed the sword when I met him. “ Her eyebrows shot up. “No, wait, I think about it...he mentioned a few times the sword belonged to his grandfather on his mother’s side. He claimed at one time it might have been magical.”

“Your late husband’s bragging aside, I’m not saying it is just looks like one. Any number of fae creatures might have forged the blade.” Linor looked at Feli. “For someone who didn’t really know much about the blade you sure seem to know a lot.”

“I guess more of my late husband’s ramblings about the blade sank in than I thought. All those years I really only half listened. I just took them as a man”s bravado about his sword…”

They both laughed again.

“No matter, a story for another time. Let’s go find this dragon.”

We meet snotty dragon

Slaying the Dragon

Sword in hand Linor headed towards the door. She turned to find Feli still standing at the fireplace.

“Aren’t you coming...I need you to lead me to the glade where you saw the dragon.”

Feli looked at Linor. “Do I have to come with you? I could draw you a map or merely give you a general idea of the dragon’s whereabouts.”

“No, Feli I need you there with me now come on. If you’re so worried you can stay back in the woods.”

“Okay, okay let’s get this over with.” Feli gave Linor a smile. “I just wanted to let you know if I die I’m going to haunt you for the rest of your life. So when you’re making love. I’ll be there haunting you…”

“Okay enough of my love life let’s go.”

They ran back the way they’d come and entered the woods. A few moments later they approached a clearing. In the clearing sat a rather smallish dragon as dragons go. The dragon seemed to take no notice of their presence as it continued to preen itself.

Feli looked upon the dragon from her hiding spot in the woods. “Oh crap!, that's Lenna.

Linor looked at Feli. “Lenna? How do you know of this dragon?”

“It has been here before, long ago. The townspeople chased it off. Using a special blade. The owner of the blade…” Feli looked over at Linor. Yes it was my husband who tried to use the blade to slay the dragon. It did not work for him. The dragon mocked him and then ate him.. I picked up the blade from where my husband dropped the sword. I was scared but I held the blade up menacingly. The dragon spotted me holding the sword. The beast cursed at me, called me a few names and flew away. There you have the whole story.”

Linor shook her head and laughed.


“You’ve been waiting all these years for a chance to avenge your husband's death. Now fate has given you the chance.”

“Yes, I suppose so,” Feli looked up a little fear in her eyes, You’re going to back out now aren’t you....I can’t say I would blame you.” Feli turned to go back into the woods.

“Wait Feli! You’re my best friend. I am not going to back out on you now. You’ve been there for me many times before. Now I need you here to watch my back. So what do you want to do this?”

Feli turned and smiled. “Yes, let’s vanquish ourselves, dragons.

They walked through the woods. As they approached the clearing where the dragon sat chewing on its claws while it waited patiently for the next meal she knew would come.

Suddenly the dragon caught a scent on the wind. More humans. Lenna’s lifted Mer snout in the air. “I smell a familiar human.” She lowered her head and watched the two women approach.

Feli looked up at the dragon. “Yes, we meet again, snotty dragon.”

Lenna lifted her head high in the air. Her shadow moved along the ground. “Snotty dragon….snotty dragon. I’m the least snotty dragon I know. If you want a snotty dragon then you want my cousin Wilfred. No matter if you think I’m snotty. I’m just going to eat you anyway.”

Linor stepped forward holding the sword off to her right. “We are here to vanquish you.”

Lenna turned her gaze from Feli to Linor. “Please, all I did was devour a bunch of townsfolk. It is in my nature...I am a dragon afterall.”

“We cannot tolerate that kind of behavior. The townsfolk you ate were my friends. Well maybe not friends but they lived in the same town as Feli and I. Beside the last time you met Feli you ate her husband. His death must be avenged.”

“You mean to slay me with that puny blade you snot.” Lenna put one claw to her head and feigned fear. “Don’t hurt me please.”

Feli stepped forward. “Give us one good reason why we shouldn't use the blade on you right away!”

“Because Feli, I am your mother.”

“No you’re not,” Feli scolded. “ My mother lives over in the Southlands.”

“Oh well, it was worth a shot.”

Feli grabbed the blade from Linor. “Enough of this bantering. Die you stupid snotty dragon. I avenge my husband and all the townsfolk.” Feli lunged with sword.

The sword flashed. Lenna let out a shriek and slumped to the ground.

“Did she just faint?” Linor asked as she walked over and tapped the dragon with her foot. She prepared herself to run in case the dragon stirred.

“Be careful Linor, it could be a trick.”

Linor looked back at Feli. No, it’s not a trick. It appears would seem...Lenna the Snotty Dragon is dead!”

“What?” Feli’s mouth dropped open.

“Yes, it appears the sword struck her down.”

“Yes, I did.”

They both turned to look at a woman all in white standing next to the dragon.

“Who are you?” Asked Feli

“I am the spirit of the sword. My name is Althea. I was around when your husband's grandfather first bore the sword.”

Linor looked at Feli. “See I told you the sword was created by the Fae.”

“Pixie magic to be exact.” Althea stated. “Well I must be going. So until we meet again.”

Althea faded out.

“No wait!” Feli yelled. “We have so many questions.’

Linor looked at the dragon. “I guess we should go tell the townsfolk the dragon is dead.”

“Yeah they’re never gonna believe we killed the beast.”

Linor laughed. “Who cares, they are the ones who’ll have to haul the carcass away.”

The two women took one last look at the dragon. Feli lifted the sword high. “For you dear.”

The two women linked arms and walked into the woods. A whisper on the breeze caught their ears. “Welcome new sword bearer.”

© 2020 Timothy Whitt

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