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Stay Alive

We’ve all dreamt of the perfect life. Some want expensive material items, and some want a family to come home to. In the end we all just want to be loved, and love is the most dangerous desire. Love is all she wanted as she woke up to an empty bed again this morning. The city is no place for a lonely girl. She opens her eyes to a skyline swept parallel to the river. This place is full of different people with different agendas. The skyscrapers can make you feel so small in a world full of possibilities. Some people have everything they’ve ever wanted and some lost everything they’ve ever had. You can tell she’s tired, but not by her lack of effort in appearance. It’s in the way she’s stopped trying to smile. Her laugh is no longer genuine. Her eyes don’t look at me anymore in the way they once used to. She gets ready for the long day ahead trying to forget the actions that lead her to the life she’s living. She has so much potential in her, but it’s difficult to want the sun when all you know is the night sky. I feel like she’s stopped trying to be someone. She pleases everyone else before putting herself first. She constantly thinks to herself “what is a life worth living without happiness." 6 months ago, and this story would have been different. Life was simple and she was in love. Now, she imagines if it would hurt more to continue living or to meet the pavement. The nightmares keep her awake for days at a time. She meets her biggest fears at night and they follow her during the day. She screams out while she sleeps and wakes up shaking in a cold sweat. She looks for me in her empty sheets, but all I am is a ghost embedded in her mind. The air is cold and she can see her breath. After what seems to be hours of walking she finds herself on a rooftop overlooking the city lights. She takes a step on the ledge and closes her eyes. She wants to feel something. She wants to feel peace. A hand reaches for hers from behind and as she turns around to see her future in my eyes. Suddenly, everything made sense. Suddenly, the nightmares escaped her. Suddenly, she was at peace.

© 2017 Ang Martino

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