Lost in Your 20s

Updated on September 1, 2017
Rileigh Mac Murdo profile image

Based in Boston, MA. Rileigh Mac Murdo is a freelance writer. She holds a degree of Bachelor of Science from University of Massachusetts.

You're not completely lost in your 20s? Well then you're doing it wrong.

Before you listen to me bitch through this, let me just give you a little background on me. I am a planner. I planned my life out before I even had a high school diploma. Great career and wealthy when I graduated college at 22, married at 24, kids by 25. I think we can guess what I am going to say next… let’s all laugh together and give a quick round of applause for my dumb ass.

SO, I graduated college a year ago with a criminal justice degree and I have been struggling to find a job that I love. At the same time, I realized I have been struggling to figure out who the hell I even am. I got into a routine consisting of working 8-5, sitting in hours of traffic, only to get home too excited to get my pajamas on and jump into bed. Exciting I know.

I woke up one morning, after being miserable and not having a clue as to why, and I had an epiphany. I had been going through the motions, doing the same thing every day because I just assumed, “Well I am an adult now and this will be my life.” I was doing what I thought I HAD to do, totally ignoring the things I WANTED to do- if you haven’t figured this out yet, there is a big difference.

My next step—Struggle.

Struggle real hard through your 20’s, because nothing is permanent. Take a look around, if you are 23 and struggling to find your way, you aren’t alone. This was the biggest hurdle for me to get over; accepting that I wasn’t where I thought I should be in my life. But guess what, most people aren’t. And if you are that person who has their life together at my age- married with children, a house and all the money you can ask for, just stop reading this, not everything is about you. I’ll make sure to have a drink for you tonight.

The first step to actually enjoying your 20’s is… to enjoy them.

This is the most cliché thing I could ever say but, live every single day like it is your last. No seriously, I am not kidding. Who the hell told you that you will still be here tomorrow? That’s right, no one. We need to live. Go out on a weekday completely exhausted and get a scorpion bowl and some lo mein with a friend (I say this because it is my favorite weekday activity). Wake up the next day hungover and drag yourself to work. You want to know why? Because there hasn’t been one time I have regretted it. I don’t ever laugh that much lying in bed watching Netflix I can tell you that.

I learned (very slowly) to take the negatives and make something positive out of it. Yes, I am so broke from all my student loan debt and constantly worry about it, but I am still going out for that drink, or that night with friends or that second date, because this is time I will never get back. Not even money can buy that. So fall on your face, and do it more than once; at a job, in relationships, in anything at all so you make many mistakes. Mistakes teach you and once you learn, you can grow. And if not, those mistakes make for great stories.

Last but not least- Change is Inevitable. And I’ve learned that this is a blessing in disguise. Things may never turn out the want you want them to, no matter how much planning you have done. Things will work out the way you NEED them to. Learn to embrace everything. If you’re happy, feel it. If you’re sad, feel it. Look forward to change. I sure as hell hope I am not the same person I am now when I am thirty. People are meant to change and grow, that is how we learn to live a happy life.

So always embrace change, love endlessly, and live freely. Life is here for the taking.


The 23-year-old that nobody likes.

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