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How Can I Let You Go?


For so many months, I have been wondering how your ex-girlfriend looks like. Is she prettier than me? Is she slimmer than me? Is she richer? Is she more intelligent? These are the questions that have been playing in my mind since the day I found out about you and her. I cannot understand what’s special about her for you to choose her, for you to hurt me just to be with her. Is she worth all the pain that you have inflicted on me? Is she worth all the tears that you brought me? Is she worth it to have my heart broken?

I can still remember that night when you told me that you were unsure of me and you cannot give me the kind of relationship that I want. I was begging you to choose me, the only time I swallowed my ego for someone. I was crying in front of you, on bended knees, asking you to be with me.

Recently, I saw your picture with her, together with your friends and your family. I didn’t feel any hatred nor anger. I was just sad to see you with her but there’s a big part of me that’s happy to see you happy with her. I can see how she makes you happy and feel loved by the smile plastered on your face. I have nothing but good wishes for you. I was looking at your pictures to justify my action that I did the right thing by letting you go and be with her. I have given you lots of reasons to be with me but I cannot give you the kind of happiness that you found in her.

People are telling me that I still love you. I guess a part of me never stopped loving you. I still care about you. If you will call me right now and need me to listen to you, I won’t hesitate to go to your doorstep and listen to you all night. People are telling me they want to find the kind of love that I gave you. I don’t know how it’s possible to love someone again the way I loved you. I feel like my heart stopped beating from the moment you chose your ex-girlfriend. I don’t know what true love means anymore. I get disappointed whenever I meet guys and I feel like no one could ever compare to what I have felt for you. I got used to having a broken heart, walking around like a dead person. It doesn’t bother me anymore. I still cry at times but I’m accepting the reality that we can never be together anymore, no matter how bad I want you to be mine.

I hope that she loves you more than I loved you. I hope that she will choose you everyday and will never give up on you. I hope that she cares about your welfare and happiness above her own. I hope that she knows your worth, that she will never find another man like you. I hope that she knows how to sacrifice for you. For whatever it’s worth that you chose her, I hope that you have finally found the right one for you in her.

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