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Girls, We Need To Talk!

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New at writing and passionate about it. Would love feedback.

girls_weneedtotalk

Let's Begin!

Before you roll your eyes, I am not here to talk about women being deprived of their rights (that has been established with facts by many learned writers). I am here to talk about a new phenomenon gaining popularity. Girl Love!

Girl Love is a term I came across through a YouTube channel of the very famous Lilly Singh. Girl love simply means love amongst us girls! It means we do not talk behind each other’s back or try to pull each other down, instead motivate and strengthen the other sister.

Women of this generation have been fighting fiercely for their rights. The cries that were silently stifled in the four walls of the house are no more confined to it. Feminism today has gone through so many phases. People can judge all they want but it has accomplished a lot. But somewhere along the way, we became bitter to each other without even realizing it.

To demonstrate “girl hate” I will be putting it in the form of a story.

Let the name of the characters of our story be “Ana” and “Ala”.

Ala wanted to buy a new dress. She was very excited. She clicked a picture and sent it to her good friend Ana and asked her, “Is it too short? I really like this dress, but I don’t know if I should buy this… help!!” Ana responded to it by saying, “Um, I don't think so". The next thing Ana did was forward the picture to some other friends saying, “How ugly does she look in that dress? I mean does she not notice that she is fat and should not wear a dress that short???” Understandably, others added to the discourse of bashing Ala. According to Ana, she has the right to an opinion and there was no need to fuss about it as Ala didn’t know about the texts. Does that justify what Ana did?

These are the kind of lame justifications we often give for our actions and call it “right to an opinion”. Girl Love is not an agitation or a group of angry women, it’s a simple notion of love amongst women. We get a lot of criticism already (from the “sanskari” police) we do not need to do that to each other.

1. Stand for Your Sister:

Imagine that you are having lunch with your friends and they start bashing a friend of yours who is not there to defend herself. Stand up for your sister and defend her. But remember, while defending her, you do not have to be mean . All you need to do is be firm, to discourage that kind of discussion.

2. Do not justify yourself:

We are all guilty of girl hate, at one point or the other. What we need to do is stop justifying it. Even if someone has been in the wrong, why bash what you hate? We need to promote what we love. Let your light glow so bright that darkness has no place. Immediately stop justifying the judgments you pass on other girls and concentrate on your own life.

3. Be open-minded:

We all see the world in a different light. There are going to be instances when we do not agree with the way the other person sees the world. But, different doesn’t necessarily mean wrong. It means you need not correct them or ask them to change their ways. Just keep an open mind. Being different is not a crime.

Even if you feel that they need to hear your views, subtly share your views rather than enforcing them. Therefore, the next time a sister tells you that she doesn’t like going to a club, don’t call her boring. Respect her choices and live your life the way you want.

4. Know the difference between 'playful' and 'mean':

There are instances when we feel that we are being playful and say something that might hurt the other person. As I mentioned before, we all see the world in a different light. What seems like a playful joke to you, might not be received in the same manner by the other person. Think before you speak!

5. Promote what you love:

We are going to meet a variety of people in our life. Some are going to be the exact opposite of you and sometimes they might say certain things that go against your beliefs. What would you do then? Get angry? Lash out? No! Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate. That is more productive.

Therefore, if Ana followed the notion of 'Girl Love', the story I shared above should have gone like this.

Ala: “Is it too short? I really like this dress, but I don’t know if I should buy this… help!!”

Ana: “Sweetheart you can wear what you like. You look beautiful! Do not wait for a special day to be happy. If you like it, you should buy it.”

(and Ana does not forward it to anyone).

Let us try to promote love for each other. Encourage and make a difference in a fellow sister’s life.

girls_weneedtotalk

© 2018 Vishakha

Comments

Vishakha (author) from India on August 06, 2018:

Thank you ❤️❤️❤️@Anchal

Anchal on August 05, 2018:

I really appreciate your writing Vishakha.

Vishakha (author) from India on August 02, 2018:

not all but some girls unfortunately do not believe in the sisterhood... but being one of the girls who believes in the sisterhood, i say there is hope... i know one post doesnt change theworld but i hope it can have a ripple effect on may be one n it might spread...

dashingscorpio from Chicago on August 02, 2018:

In many ways women are more competitive than men.

They're always comparing themselves to one another. One of the reasons why award shows have a "red carpet" is for women to critique what the (female) celebrities are wearing.

People Magazine in the U.S. will from time to time post photos of two women celebrities wearing similar outfits with a caption that reads:

"Who wore it best?"

If a group of women believe another woman dresses too provocatively or is promiscuous they will put her down, not trust her, or associate with her. Whereby a man who is known to be a "playboy" or "player" is oftentimes admired by other men who want to know "his secret". They don't see him as being "the enemy".

Lastly there remains an internal struggle between "progressive women" and "traditionalist women". The progressives are usually pro-choice, looking for ways to break through the glass ceiling in career options, and want to be seen as equal to men even including dating/courtship and sexual behavior.

Traditionalist women are often pro-life, not looking to compete with men career wise nor do they have a desire to see major changes in dating/courtship traditions.

Sometimes progressive women call traditionalist women "gender traitors" because they're not always die hard supporters of the feminist movement. Some traditionalist women feel like they're being looked down upon by progressive women for wanting to be a stay at home wife/mother.

Truth is there has never been a real sisterhood.

Some women claim they would rather hang out with guys!

Himani on August 02, 2018:

Such amazing thoughts

Vishakha (author) from India on August 02, 2018:

Thanx Sakshi ❤️

Sakshi Rawal on August 02, 2018:

Sending 'Girl Love' to you !