What a Hyde! a Flash Fiction Story
Ruby's Request
In a comment on my latest Poems From the Porch article, Ruby Jean Richert (AlwaysExploring) asked the following:
"Can I ask you to write a short fiction story that is really scary? ... Thanks in advance."
Normally, I use the requests in comments as prompts to write future poems for the Poems From the Porch, but as Ruby requested a short fiction story it didn't really fit. However, as Halloween is approaching I decided to try writing a story in time for that and publishing it as a separate hub. This is the result. Ruby, thank you for the request, and I hope you enjoy "What a Hyde!"
Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
— Robert Louis Stevenson
What a Hyde!
The clinic's waiting room was full to overflowing. There was either an awful lot of sickness around at the moment or this doctor was very popular. Being a new patient here, I hoped it was the latter.
My appointment time was ten minutes ago but considering how many others were ahead of me I sat back with an outdated magazine and braced myself for quite a wait. Luckily I had no other appointments or commitments today.
In time, the waiting room began to thin out as a new patient was called into the surgery every 20 minutes or so. I had been dozing a little, but looking at my watch I saw I had been waiting over an hour. It was almost my turn when, suddenly, a weird thought struck me. I hadn't seen anyone come out of the surgery.
Normally, you see the last patient approach the counter and then leave as the next name is being called. But, I was sure no one had left! I admit I was tired, so maybe I'd slept more than I thought and missed some leaving. But, surely not all.
When I had phoned the clinic to make an appointment I hadn't asked the doctor's name. I had just been happy to get an appointment with anyone at short notice. I was still feeling uneasy when, just then, I heard my name being called, "Mr Hansen? Doctor Jekyll will see you now."
I stood up, and gazing at the nurse I noticed her name badge, "Louise Stevenson," but instead of following her into the doctor's surgery, I turned my back on her and ran out the front door.
Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others.
— Robert Louis Stevenson
Comments
Whoa! I would have run as well! So well done, John. Many thanks to Ruby for her request. And I loved the Stevenson quotes.
- AUTHOR
Hi Sean. Yes, Ruby deserves credit for this story because without her request I wouldn’t have written it. Glad you enjoyed it. Yes beware the doctors.
Excellent work, my brother! Clever, flashing and thrilling! And you can use it as a dark joke too! Lol! Thank you and Ruby for this!
Beware of the doctors!
Sean
- AUTHOR
Thanks for reading this JC. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Cheers.
Very good John. I enjoyed it.
- AUTHOR
Yes, sometimes running is the wisest thing to do. Thank you for reading my bit of scary fun, Ann.
Short, simple and scary! The tension builds and then... he runs!
Great.
Ann
- AUTHOR
Thank you very much Alyssa. You have a great weekend too.
This was delightful! Have a wonderful weekend!
- AUTHOR
Bill, it is always an honour to get a positive comment from such a master storyteller as yourself. Cheers my friend.
- AUTHOR
Hi Lora, I am pleased you enjoyed this bit of Halloween fun.
- AUTHOR
Thank you so much Tiyasha. Glad you enjoyed this.
Haha. I love it. It has humour as well as a tinge of suspense. Good one.
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A very funny and witty flash fiction story, John, that is so appropriate for Halloween! I'd be out of there too, in an instant. Great job at meeting this challenge.
Crafting a complete and effective tale in about 200 words is quite difficult. You managed it in your customary excellent style John. Nice set-up and a great knockout punch.
- AUTHOR
Haha Mary, that would be the wisest thing to do.
- AUTHOR
Hi Linda. Thanks for reading. Actually, I am not a great story teller unless I have written it down first.
- AUTHOR
Thank you for reading this story Tia. I am glad you enjoyed it.
- AUTHOR
Lori, it is fortunate your cataract surgery is over with so you don’t have to worry about it. Thanks for reading.
- AUTHOR
Liz, I am so pleased this had you hooked. Oh, yes, make sure you check those other patients come out first.
- AUTHOR
Yes, Shauna, just in time. Thanks my friend.
- AUTHOR
Thanks so much for reading Lorna.
That would scare me and I would be out of there in a hurry as well.
Oh, short and to the point and sure glad you got the heck out of there. You're quite the storyteller (I'll bet you're great at a campfire).
This was great. I really enjoyed this story! You told it very well.
Oh my. I just got done with two cataract surgeries over the summer. Thank goodness I didn't get Dr. Jekyll and Louise Stevenson. Creepy indeed.
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This kept me hooked completely. I appreciare the way you take a very familiar setting and work your tale through it. I shall be checking patients come out of the doctor's surgery next time I am waiting for an appointment!
Wow, good thing you came to your senses, John or you may not have been here to tell this spooky story!
A nice twist to this tale John and I was left wanting more. It definitely had a creepy feel, just perfect for Halloween. Great read.
- AUTHOR
Thank oh so much, Cheryl. I will try my best.
- AUTHOR
Thanks for reading this Eric. Haha you would hug her I know you.
Your talent always shines through. Continue giving us great reading material.
I have got to get a life. I would have hugged her. Oh well I just got over my fear of the dark 10 years ago. I think I went too far.
I love this twist.
- AUTHOR
Hey, Ruby, glad you enjoyed this short story. Yes, Louise May may have told jokes will the patients died. I’d cancel any doctors’ appointment too.
- AUTHOR
Haha Bill. You are a a funny man.Thanks for reading.
Talk about scary, you hit the nail squarely on the head. I wonder if Louise told jokes while they slaughtered the patients? Thanks for the great Halloween story. I think I will cancel my appointment with my Doc.
If I had a nurse with that name, I would run too....just sayin'
Well done, buddy!
- AUTHOR
Hi Pamela. I really dint need to make any l
This is a good, short but scary story. I would have run out of the waiting room also, although I did laugh as I finished reading. The names were a true wake-up call!
- AUTHOR
Ouch! that sounded scary, Flourish. I am hoping you found out about the complaints in time.
Sounds like a podiatrist who wanted to cut on my foot. Turns out he had a bunch of complaints against him filed with the medical board.
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