What a Hyde! a Flash Fiction Story

Updated on October 17, 2019
Jodah profile image

John has many years of writing experience in poetry, short fiction and text for children's books.

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from
Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from | Source

Ruby's Request

In a comment on my latest Poems From the Porch article, Ruby Jean Richert (AlwaysExploring) asked the following:

"Can I ask you to write a short fiction story that is really scary? ... Thanks in advance."

Normally, I use the requests in comments as prompts to write future poems for the Poems From the Porch, but as Ruby requested a short fiction story it didn't really fit. However, as Halloween is approaching I decided to try writing a story in time for that and publishing it as a separate hub. This is the result. Ruby, thank you for the request, and I hope you enjoy "What a Hyde!"

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.

— Robert Louis Stevenson
Full waiting room
Full waiting room | Source

What a Hyde!

The clinic's waiting room was full to overflowing. There was either an awful lot of sickness around at the moment or this doctor was very popular. Being a new patient here, I hoped it was the latter.

My appointment time was ten minutes ago but considering how many others were ahead of me I sat back with an outdated magazine and braced myself for quite a wait. Luckily I had no other appointments or commitments today.

In time, the waiting room began to thin out as a new patient was called into the surgery every 20 minutes or so. I had been dozing a little, but looking at my watch I saw I had been waiting over an hour. It was almost my turn when, suddenly, a weird thought struck me. I hadn't seen anyone come out of the surgery.

"I hadn't seen anyone come out of the surgery." Image by Gerd Altmann from
"I hadn't seen anyone come out of the surgery." Image by Gerd Altmann from | Source

Normally, you see the last patient approach the counter and then leave as the next name is being called. But, I was sure no one had left! I admit I was tired, so maybe I'd slept more than I thought and missed some leaving. But, surely not all.

When I had phoned the clinic to make an appointment I hadn't asked the doctor's name. I had just been happy to get an appointment with anyone at short notice. I was still feeling uneasy when, just then, I heard my name being called, "Mr Hansen? Doctor Jekyll will see you now."

I stood up, and gazing at the nurse I noticed her name badge, "Louise Stevenson," but instead of following her into the doctor's surgery, I turned my back on her and ran out the front door.

Source

Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others.

— Robert Louis Stevenson
By Unknown, published by the National Printing & Engraving Company, ChicagoModifications by Papa Lima Whiskey  Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=10048960
By Unknown, published by the National Printing & Engraving Company, ChicagoModifications by Papa Lima Whiskey Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=10048960 | Source

Questions & Answers

    Comments

      0 of 8192 characters used
      Post Comment
      • Genna East profile image

        Genna East 

        3 weeks ago from Massachusetts, USA

        Whoa! I would have run as well! So well done, John. Many thanks to Ruby for her request. And I loved the Stevenson quotes.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Hi Sean. Yes, Ruby deserves credit for this story because without her request I wouldn’t have written it. Glad you enjoyed it. Yes beware the doctors.

      • Sean Dragon profile image

        Ioannis Arvanitis 

        4 weeks ago from Greece, Almyros

        Excellent work, my brother! Clever, flashing and thrilling! And you can use it as a dark joke too! Lol! Thank you and Ruby for this!

        Beware of the doctors!

        Sean

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Thanks for reading this JC. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Cheers.

      • JC Scull profile image

        JC Scull 

        4 weeks ago from Gainesville, Florida

        Very good John. I enjoyed it.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Yes, sometimes running is the wisest thing to do. Thank you for reading my bit of scary fun, Ann.

      • annart profile image

        Ann Carr 

        4 weeks ago from SW England

        Short, simple and scary! The tension builds and then... he runs!

        Great.

        Ann

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Thank you very much Alyssa. You have a great weekend too.

      • Alyssa Nichol profile image

        Alyssa 

        4 weeks ago from Ohio

        This was delightful! Have a wonderful weekend!

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Bill, it is always an honour to get a positive comment from such a master storyteller as yourself. Cheers my friend.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Hi Lora, I am pleased you enjoyed this bit of Halloween fun.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Thank you so much Tiyasha. Glad you enjoyed this.

      • Cattaleya profile image

        Tiyasha Maitra 

        4 weeks ago from New Delhi

        Haha. I love it. It has humour as well as a tinge of suspense. Good one.

      • Lora Hollings profile image

        Lora Hollings 

        4 weeks ago

        A very funny and witty flash fiction story, John, that is so appropriate for Halloween! I'd be out of there too, in an instant. Great job at meeting this challenge.

      • Billrrrr profile image

        Bill Russo 

        4 weeks ago from Cape Cod

        Crafting a complete and effective tale in about 200 words is quite difficult. You managed it in your customary excellent style John. Nice set-up and a great knockout punch.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Haha Mary, that would be the wisest thing to do.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Hi Linda. Thanks for reading. Actually, I am not a great story teller unless I have written it down first.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Thank you for reading this story Tia. I am glad you enjoyed it.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Lori, it is fortunate your cataract surgery is over with so you don’t have to worry about it. Thanks for reading.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Liz, I am so pleased this had you hooked. Oh, yes, make sure you check those other patients come out first.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Yes, Shauna, just in time. Thanks my friend.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Thanks so much for reading Lorna.

      • aesta1 profile image

        Mary Norton 

        4 weeks ago from Ontario, Canada

        That would scare me and I would be out of there in a hurry as well.

      • Carb Diva profile image

        Linda Lum 

        4 weeks ago from Washington State, USA

        Oh, short and to the point and sure glad you got the heck out of there. You're quite the storyteller (I'll bet you're great at a campfire).

      • Tia Miller23 profile image

        Tia Miller 

        4 weeks ago from Arkansas

        This was great. I really enjoyed this story! You told it very well.

      • lambservant profile image

        Lori Colbo 

        4 weeks ago from Pacific Northwest

        Oh my. I just got done with two cataract surgeries over the summer. Thank goodness I didn't get Dr. Jekyll and Louise Stevenson. Creepy indeed.

      • Eurofile profile image

        Liz Westwood 

        4 weeks ago from UK

        This kept me hooked completely. I appreciare the way you take a very familiar setting and work your tale through it. I shall be checking patients come out of the doctor's surgery next time I am waiting for an appointment!

      • bravewarrior profile image

        Shauna L Bowling 

        4 weeks ago from Central Florida

        Wow, good thing you came to your senses, John or you may not have been here to tell this spooky story!

      • Lorna Lamon profile image

        Lorna Lamon 

        4 weeks ago

        A nice twist to this tale John and I was left wanting more. It definitely had a creepy feel, just perfect for Halloween. Great read.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Thank oh so much, Cheryl. I will try my best.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Thanks for reading this Eric. Haha you would hug her I know you.

      • Cheryl E Preston profile image

        Cheryl E Preston 

        4 weeks ago from Roanoke

        Your talent always shines through. Continue giving us great reading material.

      • Ericdierker profile image

        Eric Dierker 

        4 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

        I have got to get a life. I would have hugged her. Oh well I just got over my fear of the dark 10 years ago. I think I went too far.

        I love this twist.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Hey, Ruby, glad you enjoyed this short story. Yes, Louise May may have told jokes will the patients died. I’d cancel any doctors’ appointment too.

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Haha Bill. You are a a funny man.Thanks for reading.

      • always exploring profile image

        Ruby Jean Richert 

        4 weeks ago from Southern Illinois

        Talk about scary, you hit the nail squarely on the head. I wonder if Louise told jokes while they slaughtered the patients? Thanks for the great Halloween story. I think I will cancel my appointment with my Doc.

      • billybuc profile image

        Bill Holland 

        4 weeks ago from Olympia, WA

        If I had a nurse with that name, I would run too....just sayin'

        Well done, buddy!

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Hi Pamela. I really dint need to make any l

      • Pamela99 profile image

        Pamela Oglesby 

        4 weeks ago from Sunny Florida

        This is a good, short but scary story. I would have run out of the waiting room also, although I did laugh as I finished reading. The names were a true wake-up call!

      • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

        John Hansen 

        4 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

        Ouch! that sounded scary, Flourish. I am hoping you found out about the complaints in time.

      • FlourishAnyway profile image

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 weeks ago from USA

        Sounds like a podiatrist who wanted to cut on my foot. Turns out he had a bunch of complaints against him filed with the medical board.

      working

      This website uses cookies

      As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, letterpile.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

      For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://letterpile.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

      Show Details
      Necessary
      HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
      LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
      Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
      AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
      Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
      CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
      Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
      Features
      Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
      Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
      Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
      Marketing
      Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
      Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
      Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
      Statistics
      Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
      ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
      ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)