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To my TOTGA (The One That Got Away)

She is a writer who wants to the influence the readers through her soulful writings.

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To my TOTGA

After all this time, you're still a part of me. I can still feel my heart beats so fast everytime I hear your name, and there's certain ache that makes me feel I'm still into you.
You're still the last thing in my mind before I go to sleep, the reason for the teardrops on my pillow. Why is that I can't get over you? some things during my day reminds me of you, even if I try to get rid of them I still cannot, because those memories are so ebullient and hard to forget. They're still in my heart's chamber.

I want you to know that I loved you, yes I do. my feelings for you were never a joke, everytime I told you "I love you" way back then it came from the bottom of my heart. The moment I told you that your embrace makes me feel so much comfortable and forget all my problems in life, yes I was honest with that. I was so honest for all the feelings I have deep inside.

I cherished each moments we shared, I won't forget how I felt everytime I was with you, I can never forget All that we've been through, all the happy moments we've shared even those misunderstandings and lonely moments. I would also like to say thank you for comforting me, for wiping my tears even if you're broke at the same time, even if the limelight would judge you as a coward person because of leaving me behind, still they can never take away my belief that there is geniune goodness within you, your only a human, you make mistakes and you've chosen decisions which you are unsure of. Even if the whole world would judge you, still they cannot take away the goodness I've seen within you, because I was the one who was able to get along with you for the longest time.

But now, I have to move on. I have to let go all of what holds me back, after all you were my first love, the very first love that I had experienced in my whole life, I felt melancholic for I had lost you, maybe we were meant to spent good times together, it's just fate took it's turn, you were able to hurt me and I did too (well I guess that's inevitable) then we parted ways, and new her comes on our way, you chose her over our what we thought forever kind of love. But it's okay, I will get used to it, I promise. I'll be okay soon, without bitterness and anger.

I wish you happiness love, even if that happiness doesn't include me anymore. It's just that I have to accept the fact that I was no longer a part of you and you of me. Thank you for everything. If I would be given a chance to get back from where we started I will still have that small talk with you after the intramurals year 2012 at the sports complex. I will still choose to fall in love with you because you're the best thing ever happened to me, maybe our bittersweet love story had ended. But the last thing that I want to say is in another life I would be your girl so I don't have to say you were the one that got away.

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