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Every time I think about you, my heart breaks a little.

Every time someone mentions your name, I get nervous wondering if they are complimenting or attacking you.

Every time someone tells your story, I get frustrated knowing they are the reason for your silence. You can’t speak out right now, and that’s why they keep shouting.

You can’t fight back, and that makes you their favourite punching bag.

And every time I feel like you will never come back to me, you send little subtle hints to remind me you never left.

You’ve only been kind to everyone around you, so full of love. I hate that they are using it against you, thinking about 10000 other ways to throw you under the bus.

I know you’ll recover; you’ve done it before. I always know that nothing can keep you down, and a new day will eventually arrive.

But every time I imagine you being happy and at peace in the future, it just reminds me how betrayed and in turmoil you must feel right now.

Every day my hope for the system dies a little, but my faith in you grows a little. I know you can make it out alive; it just pains me to see how dead you feel right now.

You’ve always managed to make the impossible possible, and I know we’ll meet again one day.

I just hope it doesn’t take too long. Life is too short for you to be tied to the stake.

© 2021 Alison Lian