Miranda is a lover and writer of science fiction, short stories, and poetry.
Qui Gon Jinn & Shmi Skywalker
There was no one in all of Tatooine who knew the burden of mixed emotions Shmi felt. She tossed and turned all night knowing for certain that if she did not tell Qui Gon how she felt before his departure, she would regret it. Shmi promised herself she wouldn't pass up the opportunity to let the man who meant so much to her and her son go without letting him know how much she cares for him. He was helping her son. Shmi owed him that much. She was already losing her only child to him. She knew she would know very little about her little boy's well being once he left the planet. Slavery was all Anakin knew and this man was going to take him, take him away from all he knew, and away from her. But she trusted Qui Gon Jinn and loved him. Now Anakin will be free and living his dream of becoming a Jedi knight. And what about her? What did she want or need?
She rose from her bed and tightened her night robe around her. She walked into the kitchen to get a cup of water. Shmi could feel her heart racing as she rehearsed what she would say to the man that will soon become guardian to her son. "Qui Gon Jinn, Jedi knight, I will convince him to stay. But I know he can't and he won't."
The planet Coruscant held everything her 9 year old son needed. He needed a father figure and someone to guide him. It was better than being here she thought as she drunk down the cold cup of water.
"Qui Gon will take my son and help him become a man. And I would stay here, waiting for my son to grow up, and hoping one day he will return for me." Shmi sighed and closed her eyes shut as she continued to wonder, "I saw the pain in Qui Gon's eyes when he told me he couldn't free me. I felt his eyes on me all the time like he could see right through me. What did he see? Did he see a woman that will never become free? Did he feel sorry for me? Did he feel guilty for separating a boy from his mother? What was it?! What did he see in me? I know what I see in him. I see good. I see patience. All of the qualities in a good mate. But this is the wrong place for this!! We aren't the right kind of people for this.....love? He's committed to the Jedi. And I? I'm condemned to a life of bondage. I see the way he looks at me, when he watch me, it's like his eyes are seeing into my soul. What is it?! What is it?! What does he really see in me?"
"Tahl." Shmi quickly opened her eyes, placed the empty cup on the counter, and turned to see Qui Gon Jinn standing near the kitchen table. His voice was calm and he spoke with a gentle whisper in the dimly lit kitchen. "Tahl, " he said once more. "I can answer all of those questions you asked yourself." Feeling vulnerable and exposed, Shmi took her night robe and tied the ribbon quickly around her waist.
"Jedi can read minds too eh? You heard my mind?" Shmi turned her face away from Qui Gon.
"We read minds only if we need to. I'm not feeling pity for you and I don't feel guilt. Those feelings are not what I have when I watch you. The Force brought me here and your son will become a Jedi knight." Qui Gon paused and said, "I do have feelings for you. I can take you away from this place. I want to take you with us. I want you with me as much as Anakin wants you with him. And I also know the problems it will create if I did that. You know it too don't you?"
Shmi slowly turns her head to look at Qui Gon. Into his eyes. This tall, strong man, was sharing his feelings. "I know how I feel, but my son's life is more important. I can't be selfish. Qui Gon, I want you to stay here to be with me and Anakin. I don't want you to go and I know this doesn't make any sense at all. What good would your staying here do? But I want you here." Qui Gon slowly walks over to Shmi and he gently touches her face and then her arm.
"You are a Jedi knight and I'm only a distraction." Shaking her head, "You are apart of Anakin's life now. Go and please take good care of him. I can't do any better."
Qui Gon listened and held Shmi close to him. "Tahl", he said and Shmi interrupted him and continued, " You loved her.........Tahl........ and she died. You wanted to help her and you couldn't. And you want to help me, but you.... " Shmi sighed.
Qui Gon whispered in his heart as he held on to Shmi, "She knows, she knows."
At that moment Shmi totally surrendered herself into his arms. Feeling secure, no resistance, just surrender. "Now I can read your mind Qui Gon. I have seen the pain in your eyes, when you look at me. Now I know what you see........when you see me, you see her."
Shmi looked up into Qui Gon's eyes. "My real freedom is telling you how I truly feel. You are apart of Anakin's life now."
"And yours too Shmi. I'm apart of your future too. And yes I do see her when I see you. I made a promise to myself that I would not allow my emotions to control me again. "
"Are you breaking your promise Qui Gon? Don't. Please don't for Anakin's sake." Shmi held onto Qui Gon tightly, "I'm in love with a man who holds my son's future in his hands right now. I don't know if I'm in love with the idea of you saving him or if I'm just in love with you."
Qui Gon gently smiles, "Both. You are in love with both. And I am in love with you. But this time I won't be..... " Shmi interrupts again.
"Attached? You won't let your emotions cloud your judgement now like it did with Tahl. Then just hold me. Tonight will be your last night here."
They both stood locked in a long passionate kiss and heavy embrace, holding on to each other releasing the love they both needed. And for a long time they did this into the night undisturbed. They whispered, "I love you" to each other. And as though both their lives depended on it, the Jedi kept his promise and Shmi kept hers.
QUI GON's Love Story
Should the untold love story of Qui Gon Jinn & Shmi Skywalker become apart of the Star Wars Universe?
© 2020 Miranda Blanks