The Texas Attack Mosquitoes
Speaking of mosquitoes, have you heard the story of the Texas camper, the iron kettle and the attack mosquitoes?
Well, you may think the mosquitoes big, bad and vicious where you live but some Texans claim the Texas variety just naturally grow bigger and meaner there than any place else on earth. As confirmation, they like to relate the plight of a Lone Star State man named Les who told about enduring a mosquito attack while camping near Sam Rayburn Reservoir in the piney woods area of southeast Texas.
"Here came a mosquito stinger right through the iron bottom of that kettle!"
"A black cloud of mosquitoes settled down over my camp," Les said later. "To avoid being sucked dry, I hid under a big iron kettle. Then I heard a great whining sound like a machinist drilling through metal and, wouldn't you know it, here came a mosquito stinger right through the iron bottom of that kettle."
So Les found a rock and used that to bend over the stinger so it wouldn't stab him. Pretty soon another stinger drilled its way through, and he bent that one over. It wasn't long before Les had fifty stingers bent over and clinched to the kettle.
About then the iron kettle began to rise as the mosquitoes decided to fly away with it. Les knew this would expose his body to the other mosquitoes, so he grabbed onto the kettle's handles. In this manner, Les escaped the main body of mosquitoes.
When Les got to this point in his story, he would pause and shake his head in wonderment.
At this point someone in the audience would ask, "But how did you get down from the kettle, Les?"
"Well, you see," Les would respond, "these were union mosquitoes. When we went over Houston, a whistle blew in the ship channel and they thought it was noon so they settled down and I had a chance to escape. No self-respecting union mosquito would work through his lunch hour."
If someone indicated disbelief in the story, Les would offer up the rock he had used to bend over the mosquito stingers for inspection. Sure enough, it had a lot of bruise marks on it, showing it had undergone some rough usage.